Take Your Alternative Citizen Test Today!

February 27, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Books, Citizenship, eBooks, German, Germans, Germany, Tests Leave a comment

Just answer the following questions politically correctly and you could become a German citizen!

Is US-Amerika to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Do you love to obsess about the privacy of the data no one is forcing you to place on your numerous free social media platforms nor is particularly interested in?

Are you convinced that your recycling and waste separation efforts are saving the lives of polar bears as we speak?

Are you OK with the fact that you are a “pacifist” living in one of the world’s largest weapons exporting nations?

Is your first impulse to shut down all of your nuclear power plants whenever an earthquake takes place in Japan?

Is it OK for you to pretend to be more European than other Europeans are while dominating those other Europeans with your crushing economic might?

Do you believe everything you see every night on your tax-funded state TV news channels?

Are you considering reducing the number of your annual vacation flights from three down to one to help combat Global Warming?

Is US-Amerika still to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Well then, if the answer to those was an emphatic “Yes!” you don’t worry about taking the alternative citizenship test. You’re a German already.

Please note: This is just a small sampling of the questions asked during the final examination.

We’re All Going To Die!

February 25, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Brexit, Business, EU, European Union, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Trade Leave a comment

When the Brexit hits the fan, remember?

It’s quite odd. Germans, notoriously nervous by nature, don’t seem terribly worried about Brexit these days at all. I guess there’s only so much you can worry about at any given time. Even if you’re a German.

Dead calm: Brexit not in top 10 of German businesses’ priorities – With five weeks to March 29th, Germans are worried – about everything but Brexit.

Commuters fear inner-city bans on diesel cars. Politicians are fighting over renovating – and digitising – German schools. Police are battling criminal Arab clans.

“I don’t know why Germany, all in all, is so relaxed about this.”

How Do You Reboot Something That Was Never Running In The First Place?

February 24, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, European Union, German, Germans, Germany, Leftists, Political Parties, Reform, Socialists, The Left Party Leave a comment

Germany: Left Party calls for EU ‘reboot’ at party convention.

Germany’s socialist party has presented a fundamental EU reform agenda at their convention in the western city of Bonn. Members decided against calling for the creation of a “European Republic” in the manifesto.

Now get this: They want to make the EU more “international” than it already is. International is why the EU isn’t working in the first place. Take their international EU border, for example. Their international currency (think Greece vs. Germany) really rocks, too. To name just a few structurally international shortcomings, I mean.

The one thing that could make something like the EU work is the one thing that all agree must never be mentioned, much less ever put into practice: A federation of sovereign, national states. No, the Eurocrats prefer, insist upon fixing and re-fixing and rebooting again and again and again…

“Our vision is anchored in a solidarity-based internationalism. Together with other left-wing parties, we stand for a fundamental change of policy in the European Union.”

Our Energy Doesn’t Stink

February 22, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coal, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

But we need yours anyway, OK? Your nuclear and coal burning energy…

Merkel’s Government Looks Abroad to Keep Germany’s Lights On – Germany will rely heavily on neighboring nations in Europe to avert blackouts as it weans itself off coal over the next two decades, a senior government official said.

Europe’s biggest consumer of electricity is working to shut power plants fueled by both coal and nuclear energy that account for half of the nation’s generation capacity. Thomas Bareiss, a deputy economy and energy minister, acknowledged that retiring all those plants poses a challenge that may leave Germany reliant on imported electricity.

“It means thinking ahead and acting in concert in an already active cross-border market.”

Mexico

February 21, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms, Arms Sales, Exports, Pacifism, Profit, Weapons 1 Comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week – this time with extra added suspended jail terms!

Because somebody has to admire them.

A German court has handed suspended jail terms to two ex-employees of gun maker Heckler & Koch and fined the firm €3.7m (£3.2m) for illegal arms deliveries to Mexico.

The Stuttgart court acquitted three other H&K ex-employees.

H&K was found to have breached German arms export rules by shipping nearly 5,000 G36 assault rifles and smaller firearms to strife-torn regions.

Mexico is plagued by warfare involving drug gangs and paramilitaries.

Heckler & Koch muss wegen Ausfuhren von Gewehren nach Mexiko mehrere Millionen Euro Strafe bezahlen. Zudem wurden zwei Ex-Angestellte zu Bewährungsstrafen verurteilt.

Man Bites Dog

February 20, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Humility, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Dogs, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Hunters Leave a comment

Just kidding. Dog shoots man.

And here the Germans are always accousing Americans of having way too lax gun regulations. Sheesh.

A court in Munich has refused a hunter’s legal claim to get his gun license back and be allowed to carry weapons. A loaded gun left inside his car two years ago was the start of his problems.

In November 2016, a German hunter was at a game reserve northeast of Dresden and talking to a passerby when his dog accidentally set off his gun from inside the car. The hunter was wounded in the arm. As a result, the hunter lost both his weapons’ license and his hunting permit, which authorities have refused to extend.

Must have had a dog hair trigger.

German Of The Day: Umerziehen

February 19, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: ARD, Big Brother, Channel One, Fake News, Journalists, Language, Lying Press, Media, Media Bias, News, State Control, State TV, Taxation, TV 2 Comments

That means re-educate.

And that’s what the “framing” expert at Germany state TV “Channel One” (ARD) has advised its employees to do. Viewers are in dire need of re-education.

Her secret “framing manual” indicates that the ARD is at war with its critics and private television channels alike, disruptive elements who refer to the ARD as “state TV,” criticize “compulsory fees” (they’re not compulsory, they’re a show of solidarity!) and “question the ARD’s relevance.” Gee, I guess she means me, too.

These disruptive elements don’t understand that the ARD is “guided by moral principles” and its own “moral necessity for social interaction” and not, like them, motivated by profit. The ARD doesn’t have to be motivated by profit, people. All Germans get taxed for this state supported media bias whether they’re viewers or not.

Isn’t that a nice smirk? Big Sister is watching. She wants you all to keep on watching, that is.

Die Arbeit der ARD, so heißt es, sei „von moralischen Prinzipien getragen“, überzeugt von der eigenen „moralischen Notwendigkeit für das gesellschaftliche Miteinander“ – während die „medienkapitalistischen Heuschrecken“ des Privat-TV nur dem Profit dienen würden.

What Army?

February 15, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Army, Bundeswehr, Defense, NATO, Recruitment, Soldiers 1 Comment

Nobody wants to join Germany’s army.

Germany’s armed forces are struggling to attract much-needed recruits, with the number of new soldiers joining the Bundeswehr falling to an all-time low last year. The shortages are an urgent challenge for the German military, which has tried to boost its strength and capabilities at a time of record-low unemployment, and against fierce competition from both the private sector and institutions such as the police.

The need to build up the Bundeswehr reflects at least in part the recent pressure from the U.S. and other allies to raise German defense spending to 2 percent of gross domestic product, in line with a longstanding commitment given by all NATO members. Berlin spent 1.2 percent of its budget on defense last year, a figure that is expected to rise to 1.5 percent by 2024. Still …

JUST 20,000 RECRUITS JOINED THE ARMED FORCES IN 2018, DOWN FROM 23,000 THE PREVIOUS YEAR, AND THE LOWEST IN THE HISTORY OF THE BUNDESWEHR.

German Of The Day: Grenzschließung

February 12, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Angela Merkel, Borders, CDU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Migrant Crisis, Migrants, Political Parties, SPD 2 Comments

That means border closure.

Damn. Maybe Mini-MErkel isn’t so Mini-MErkel after all.

Much like the SPD desperately trying to get back the people who used to vote for them with yesterday’s Hartz IV shenanigans, Germany’s CDU 2.0 (can we call it post-Merkel yet?) is fighting to get back the voters who abandoned them in droves after Angela Merkel’s bat shit crazy migrant fiasco of 2015. Boss lady Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer has made it clear that this can and will never happen again – without pointing fingers or naming any names, of course – and has even said that her party would be prepared shut down German borders (no, really, they have borders, too) should it ever be necessary.

Odd. These are stands that the pure evil of evilness AfD has been taking from the start (that’s were the CDU voters ran off to). Now the CDU is acting as though they just figured this out all by themselves. Better late than never, I guess.

„Wir haben gesagt, als Ultima Ratio wäre das durchaus auch denkbar.”

Right, Left, Up, Down…

February 11, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Buying Votes, German, Germans, Germany, Hartz IV, Political Parties, Social Democracy, SPD, Welfare Leave a comment

But mostly down. That’s where Germany’S SPD keeps going in the popularity ratings these days.

Their latest act of desperation? Turning back the hands of time and abolishing the one reform the SPD ever managed to get right (Hartz IV). Nobody’s buying it, of course, “social” (free) gifts or not. There is no going back and somebody else already ate your free lunch.

The SPD wants to replace Hartz IV, the basic welfare benefit — currently €428 ($484) per month — with a basic income. They also want to extend the period of time that older people, from age 58, receive unemployment benefits, to 33 months from 24 months. Younger people, too, will receive unemployment benefits for longer, taking into consideration how long they contributed to the welfare system when they had work. Those who are jobless should have the right to further training, the 17-page welfare state concept says.

“We are overcoming what we recognized as not having been the right route.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness