Every German Drinks 137 Liters Of Alcohol And Smokes 1008 Cigarettes

Not all at once, however. They mean on average.

Meth

But don’t be alarmed. These numbers are bound to drop soon because crystal meth is getting more and more popular here all the time, too.

Der Stoff macht aggressiv, fördert die Gewaltbereitschaft, kann zu Wahnvorstellung führen und endet mitunter im Suizid. Vor allem macht die Droge sehr schnell psychisch abhängig.

Berlin Far-Left Left Party Partiers Believe American Fashion Doll Wrong Role Model For German Girls

“The Barbie Dreamhouse is the expression of a conventional role model that isn’t OK.”

Barbie

Barbie is a fashion doll manufactured by the American toy-company Mattel, Inc. and launched in March 1959. American businesswoman Ruth Handler is credited with the creation of the doll using a German doll called Bild Lilli as her inspiration.

Literally Hundreds March For Peace Again In Germany This Easter

Literally hundreds of German peace activists spent several hours this weekend in numerous German cities protesting against one or two (or even three) important peace-related issues like…

Peace

1) German “killer drones” that don’t exist,
2) Bundeswehr recruitment at German schools and
3) Countries like Mali and Syria that should stop being so warlike already (although everybody knows that Germany will NEVER EVER be involved there militarily in any meaningful way EVER) and just go away and leave us, as in them, alone.

Es ist an der Zeit: Sagt Nein!

Die westdeutsche Friedensbewegung hat ihre Wurzeln im Protest gegen das atomare Wettrüsten während des Kalten Krieges. 1983 erlebte sie ihren Höhepunkt mit Hunderttausenden Demonstranten in Bonn, die gegen die Stationierung von amerikanischen Atomraketen protestierten.

Berlin’s Rotten Infrastructure Indirectly Responsible For The Death Of This Poor Little Rat

This was gross negligence on the part of power supplier Vattenfall, if you ask me. And even grosser, uh, something for the guy who had to clean up the mess afterwards.

Rat

An innocent and relatively harmless rat was way too easily able to make his way through some little hole in the wall of a network power station place in Tempelhof today and cause a short in a 10,000 volt power line that took down the power for some 2,200 apartments and 170 businesses in the area.

Needless to say, this action took down the rat, too. We can only hope that it was clean, green energy that got him.

Erst vor wenigen Wochen hatte eine Ratte einen Stromausfall im havarierten japanischen Atomkraftwerk Fukushima Daichii ausgelöst.

Springtime For Merkel And Germany

In the end, the Cypriots swallowed the bitter medicine. Facing national humiliation and a bleak future many complain their small nation has been forced to succumb to the will of a larger, merciless power – Germany.

Cyprus

And the Germans also have a clear and consistent analysis of the problem. They believe that fiscal profligacy or faulty business models lie at the heart of the crisis – and the solution is austerity, allied to structural reform. There are many who argue that this prescription is dangerous. But the anti-austerians have failed to come up with a set of alternative policies that is coherent enough to turn the intellectual tide.

…This Germanophobia is unfair. Behind all the shouting and the wrangling, German taxpayers will once again be funding the biggest single share of yet another eurozone bailout.

Where’s The Money?

Germany’s Federal Minister for the Environment, Peter Altmaier, will now be shutting down 14 German climate protection programs due to cost conerns, not that anyone here who can do any arithmetic will take much notice or much less care.

Climate Change

Funding for something called Elektromobilität (electromobility) will be cut first, soon to be followed by funding cuts for Stromspeichern (energy storage technology) with the other cuts soon to follow. Billions of a vital natural resource are missing, it seems (they call them “euros” here), this because European CO2 emmission rights certificate trading just ain’t bringing in the cash it’s supposed to do.

Do I detect pattern here? Why is it that the so-called real world is always getting in the way of those way cool dream world plans that so many folks out there want to make come true so really, really, really bad? Who is behind this, anyway? It just has to be a conspiracy (again).

Demnach sollten die Projekte ursprünglich aus dem Energie- und Klimafonds der Bundesregierung finanziert werden. Dort klaffe jedoch eine Milliardenlücke, weil der europäische CO2-Zertifikatehandel nicht genug Geld in die Kasse spüle.

Speaking Of Green Disasters…

“Germany’s Green Energy Disaster: A Cautionary Tale For World Leaders”

Green

“The costs of our energy reform and restructuring of energy provision could amount to around one trillion euros by the end of the 2030s.”

The Green Shirts vs. The Environment

Guess who’s going to win?

Green

One would assume that ecology and the Energiewende, Germany’s plans to phase out nuclear energy and increase its reliance on renewable sources, were natural allies. But in reality, the two goals have been coming into greater and greater conflict…

Since the party’s founding in 1980, it has championed a nuclear phaseout and fought for clean energy. But now that this phaseout is underway, the Greens are realizing a large part of their dream — the utopian idea of a society operating on “good” power — is vanishing into thin air. Green energy, they have found, comes at an enormous cost. And the environment will also pay a price if things keep going as they have been.

“We should overcome the temptation to sacrifice environmental protection for the sake of fighting climate change. Preserving a stable natural environment is just as important.”

The Trains In Berlin Are Reliable

And don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Snow

Whenever it snows here, for instance, like it did big time over the weekend, you can rely on a few S-Bahn and Deutsche Bahn stretches to break down in earnest the next day, or in this case Monday.

Germany is a country unfamiliar with snow, you see, or at least I have to assume as much, because much of their technology is not designed to operate in this weird, white and powdery substance.

In their defense, though: I’m not a scientist or anything, but I think all of this more-snow-and-cold-than-usual has something to do with this global warming phenomenon thingy or something. Because its snowing right now, yet again. As we speak, so-to-speak. In the German Spring.

Auf die Bahn ist Verlass: Nach dem Schneefall vom Wochenende brach der S-Bahn- Verkehr am Montag auf mehreren Strecken zeitweise zusammen. Und am Hauptbahnhof wurden am Mittag die Zufahrten vor beiden Haupteingängen gesperrt, weil Schnee und Eisbrocken abrutschten.

Axeman With Nothing To Axe

Hey, nobody else wanted the job.

Mehdorn

Hartmut Mehdorn, former Deutsche Bahn boss, will now be taking over the unbelievable mess some here refer to as Berlin’s international airport or BER. I mean, it’s not really an airport, of course. It’s an urban myth maybe, or a spooky ghost town place or a money-guzzling black hole or maybe even all three of those things, but it ain’t no airport.

Anyways, Mehdorn turned things around by being a tough restructurer at the Deutsche Bahn and Air Berlin. You know, he axed a lot of stuff, people included (that’s why nobody likes him in Germany – there can never be any “losers” here). But how can you be a tough restructurer for something that doesn’t have any structure? Chaos theory is chaos theory and what’s more chaotic than the non-existent Berlin Internatinal Airport? Or did I miss something again and is it in a parallel universe we just haven’t been able to reach yet?

Good luck or something.

“Sie haben mich geholt, jetzt müssen sie mich auch aushalten.”