Category Archives: Humor
It Will Be A Long Debate
Generally, for as long as there is nothing left to debate about.
When “Germany” debates something, especially “terminology,” they will do so until the cows come home. And then leave home again. And then come back home again. And so forth.
For 15 years now, the term used by German statisticians and politicians alike to denote foreigners and their descendants has been “people with a migration background.”
That was the label given to people who weren’t born into German citizenship. And to people whose mothers or fathers were not born German citizens. Today, that applies to a quarter of the population.
After two years of discussing how Germany could better acknowledge its status as a society of immigration, a SPECIALIST commission of 24 politicians and academics appointed by the government has submitted its report to Chancellor Angela Merkel. One of its recommendations is to stop using the terms “migration background” or “immigrant background.”
People should use the term “immigrants and their descendants,” commission chair Derya Caglar said. “In my case, this would mean that I am no longer the migrant, but rather the daughter or descendant of migrants.”
German Of The Day: Besser, Schneller, Weiter!
That means better, faster, further!
You know, like in wear better masks? Be faster than the others when it comes to restricting and regulating your citizens? Go further and ever further into debt? Where no man has ever gone before kind of debt? You know, stuff like that?
Germans are told to wear better masks – Germans will be obliged to wear medical-grade masks in shops and on public transport until Valentine’s Day under tighter lockdown measures.
Most schools are likely to remain closed and soldiers will be sent to carry out rapid tests in care homes as the government tries to suppress the more contagious British variant of the coronavirus.
Angela Merkel had sought even tougher restrictions yesterday during eight hours of wrangling with regional leaders, but her appeal for a national night-time curfew was rebuffed.
German Of The Day: Reisewarnung
That means travel warning.
In this case for The Banana Republic of America itself!
Germany issues travel warning for Washington after attack on Capitol – Germans have been told to avoid central Washington, DC, following Wednesday’s storming of the Capitol building. It’s one of several advisories the German Foreign Ministry carries about travel to the United States.
Reisewarnung für die USA wegen militanter Trump-Anhänger.
Syringeworthy
Stunning and brave or something.
German pilot Samy Kramer has traced a giant syringe in the sky, flying 200 kilometers to remind people about the start of the COVID-19 vaccination campaign in Europe.
“There are still relatively many people opposing the vaccination and my action may be a reminder for them to think about the topic, to get things moving.”
Have A Merry 2020 Christmas!
This Surreally Happened
Art for Art’s sake. You know Art, don’t you? From the cleaning crew?
We need surrealism to deal with surreality, people. Or maybe we don’t. Hard to say for sure.
A Surrealist Yves Tanguy Painting Was Tossed in Trash at a German Airport – The painting, worth an estimated $340,000, was left behind by a traveler at Düsseldorf Airport and scrapped by a cleaning crew.
Ve Have Vays Of Making You Talk
Ve know you have ze virus. Or at least you had it. Ve vere informed by your children. Vhere did you get it? Who did you give ze virus to you?
Give us ze names! Sign ze papers!
Coronavirus: Anti-lockdown group put under surveillance in German state – A Querdenker group, one German state said, has been “infiltrated by extremists.” The movement is responsible for arranging large demonstrations against coronavirus restrictions across the country.
“Avoid your last Christmas wis your grandparents.”
New Phonetic Spelling Table To Stop German Drive For World Domination
Their next drive, I mean.
I guess you could call this a Wunderwaffe (miracle weapon) of sorts. It would be a miracle if anyone could explain to me how this makes any sense.
Zacharias not Zeppelin: Germany to scrap Nazi-era phonetic table – Communication aid was altered in 1934 because original version was deemed ‘too Jewish.’
The table, in which codewords are assigned to each letter of the alphabet to aid communication and avoid confusion, particularly in radio transmissions and telephone calls, originated in the late 19th century. In 1934 it was adapted by the Nazis who cleansed it of all its Jewish names as part of the regime’s drive to reject all Jews from German life, which culminated in the Holocaust.
German Of The Day: “Das War Was Anderes”
“That was something else,” the woman tells her son. And she’s right. It was not a shooting star.
They are arriving, people. The reptoids. And considering Joe Biden‘s speaking and cognitive difficulties, well…
I’m not sure if he’s their leader or anything (because I’m not sure if he could lead himself out of a paper bag) but he is clearly some form of shape-shifting reptilian alien in semi-human form who wants to help them take control of Planet Earth. I wish someone would, actually, but does it have to be them?
Observing Hermann 