This isn’t a World Cup-class dive or anything, but still.
Look at the faux-panic that comes over his face as he pretends to be unable to breathe because someone made light contact with his shoulder.
Category Archives: Humor
The Removal Of This Sign Is Strictly Forbidden
Cool Berliner signs and Zettel. For no particular reason at all.
Maybe The Turks Could Build One Of These New-Fangled Airport Thingies In Berlin, Too
The construction of the world’s largest airport began on June 7 in Istanbul with a massive groundbreaking ceremony. When fully completed in 2018, the 10 billion-euro airport will be able to carry 150 million passengers a year, making it one of the world’s busiest airports.
Meanwhile, back in Germany…
Berlin’s disastrous airport project (groundbreaking so long ago nobody can remember anymore, at one time planned to open in June 2012 Anno Domini) was hit with another scandal after its technical director was suspended pending an investigation into alleged corruption. A “leading employee” responsible for awarding contracts during the on-going construction of the hopelessly-delayed Berlin Brandenburg airport (BER), is suspected of having demanded €500,000 bribes from a prospective contractor.
Berlin’s airport is already too small.
Not Even German Astronauts Can Escape Tatort
A Soyuz spacecraft launched last night (May 28) from Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan docked with the International Space Station in the early hours of this morning. Onboard were ESA astronaut Alexander Gerst and his Expedition 40/41 crewmates, who will now live and work in space for the next six months…
And watch Tatort.
Der deutsche Astronaut Alexander Gerst (38) erlebt derzeit das, wozu viele Menschen wahrscheinlich nie die Möglichkeit haben werden: Als Bordingenieur arbeitet er nun für einige Monate auf der internationalen Raumstation ISS. Damit verbunden ist natürlich ein atemberaubender Bilck auf die Erde. Doch auf eines möchte der Raumfahrer während seiner Mission im All nicht verzichten: die “Tagesthemen” und den Tatort.
Cheepnis
It doesn’t get any cheaper than this, folks. Not for this ebook here, it doesn’t.
Kindle Countdown Deals let authors provide readers with limited-time discount promotions on their books available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk
German Intelligence Service Devises Diabolically New And Original Espionage Technique
But don’t tell anybody you heard it from me.
It goes like this: The BND is soon going to start monitoring users of social networks like Facebook and Twitter in something they are referring to here as “Echtzeit.” “Echtzeit” can roughly be translated as “real-time” and means that said users will be monitored – now get this – live. That’s right. Like while it’s actually happening?
Let me repeat this so you will understand the implications of what it is I’m saying here: They will actually be seeing what these people are typing while they are actually typing it. Just like you and I and everybody else on Facebook and Twitter the world over are doing already, I mean. Like how creepy is that?
Befreundete Nachrichtendienste seien methodisch viel weiter
Only In Germany Can You Emasculate A Traffic Light
The city of Berlin may be poor but sexy, but it is not poor but sexy enough to not be able to scrape up enough needed tax euros to introduce a traffic light woman quota.
I don’t make this stuff up, people.
“Women need to be more present in the appearances of our capital’s streets,” Martina Matischok-Yesilcimen, Germany’s Social Democratic Party district leader who signed a recent motion (PDF) to introduce female walk signals, told Bloomberg News.
“We’re a diverse city, and that deserves to be seen.”
PS: And have a happy election day or something while you’re at it.
Alarms Red, White And Blue! Germans Have Successfully Infiltrated US World Cup Team!
Or should this be alarms black, red and gold maybe? Damn. It’s all over but the cryin’ now. For thoze guyz who gots to go up against us. As in US, I mean (USA! USA!).
Five German-Americans, 21% of the entire team, made the U.S. 23-man roster for the World Cup in Brazil…
When he took over as coach in 2011, Jurgen Klinsmann (suspected of being a so-called German himself) said, “Soccer in a way reflects the culture of a country.”
Clearly Klinsmann’s celebrity status in Germany — as well as his boundless enthusiasm — are an asset when recruiting German-Americans. But these charms are helpful no matter where a player is from, and it just so happens that the largest concentration of U.S.-eligible players in Europe is in Germany.
Germans Now Not Sure If Whistleblowing Is A Scientific Achievement After All
Germans are very precise and proper and legalistic when it comes to, well, when it comes to just about anything you can possibly imagine so it shouldn’t surprise any of us out here all that much that the rector of the German university in Rostock, where academics have voted to award NSA leakmeister Edward Snowden himself an honorary doctorate, is now trying to have the decision reversed, his argument being that Snowden’s actions did not fulfill the the university’s required criteria. Dude, like what a party pooper.
It appears that there is some sticky little detail somewhere in their regulations about honorary doctorates only being allowed for “special academic achievement” and the rector, nitpicky like German rectors are, has now pointed out to everyone that Snowden’s leaking to the media of NSA documents doesn’t wirklich (really) constitute that.
This won’t be the last word on this, of course. But still. And there’s still the Nobel Peace Prize on its way, too. So take a chill pill, people. Your hero will get his honors yet.
Datenübergabe keine wissenschaftliche Leistung
Pissed Off German Accidentally Says Something Meaningful
Putin-Understanders: “Warmonger! Warmonger! Stop the Nazis in Ukraine!”
German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier: “The world does not consist of peace angels on one side and villains on the other. The world is unfortunately more complicated than that. And thank God there are still a few people out there who address this complexity and look for ways out of the crisis in Ukraine.”
“Dieses Maß an Hass und Dummheit, das mir auf dieser Veranstaltung entgegenschallte, hat mich in einem so hohen Maße empört, dass diese Rede so zustande kam, wie sie zustande kam.”
Observing Hermann 