And me no negotiate with cookie terrorists, either, if I were you.
Das Unternehmen stellte in Aussicht, 52 000 Packungen Leibniz Kekse an 52 soziale Einrichtungen zu spenden, sollte das von der Fassade des Stammhauses gestohlene Wahrzeichen wieder auftauchen.
Two years after the Fukushima nuclear disaster, Japan is making a big push to win back German tourists, who are still avoiding the country because of concerns over radiation. Visitor numbers from Germany, the world’s biggest spenders on foreign holidays in 2011, fell 35 percent between 2010 and 2011, and in 2012 did not recover as much as other markets, officials said in Frankfurt on Thursday.
It’s like this, folks: The level of radiation occurring naturally in Japan is much lower than that of Germany. The levels of naturally occurring radiation PLUS the radiation resulting from the accident at Fukushima are still within the range considered average for Germany.
None of this matters, of course. Hysteria bleibt (stays) hysteria.
Even at the dentist, Germans are often skeptical about the effects of x-rays and require reassurance over radiation levels.
PS: Speaking of hypochondria (sort of), Berliner Beamte (civil servants with disgustingly cushy benefits), police mostly, are off sick two months a year – on average.
Heino (himself), the avenging angel of German Volksmusik, retaliates.
Tired of being verarscht (spoofed) by everybody else in the German music industry (and just about everywhere else, for that matter), he has now begun a winter offensive by offending bands like Rammstein and Die Ärzte. By covering their songs, I mean.
They clearly never saw it coming. And word is they don’t like it. The Spießer (bourgeois squares).
Der Schlagerbarde singt die Lieder derer, die ihn bisher so gern verhöhnten. Aber wehren können sie sich dagegen nicht.
As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.
Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.
Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.
„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“
If you like edgy, untraditional, eclectic, weird-ass, stupid as shit fashion, this is definitely the place for you!
“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
Dr. Evil: [about his new “laser“] You see, I’ve turned the moon into what I like to call a “Death Star”. [Scott snickers]
German defense firm Rheinmetall Defense used a new high-energy laser weapons system to shoot fast-moving drones at a distance. The system, which uses two laser weapons, was also used to cut through a steel girder a kilometer away.
All I can say is thank goodness this technology is in German hands. That way it will only be used for peaceful purposes. You know, like making money, and stuff like that.
ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
You already knew that Berlin’s Left had problems with all of those annoying, gentrifying foreign out-of-towners who won’t leave town. Now Ärger (resentment) has broken out with gentrifying German out-of-towners from Swabia (the region around Stuttgart in southwestern Germany) who won’t leave either.
More specifically, “native” Prenzlauer Berg Berliners of the poltically correct kind are pissed off these days about the confusion that reigns whenever they want to order their local breakfast buns in the morning (called Schrippen here). The upwardly mobile Swabians who now live here too prefer calling them by the name they use for them down south in their own neck of the woods: Wecken. And this is just plain wrong. Or something. And an issue. A German issue even. A classic German petty bourgeoisie issue even, even.
In fact, this German petty bourgeoisie issue has become such a German petty bourgeoisie issue that Bundestag Vice President Wolfgang Thierse (SPD) himself felt compelled to note in a recent newspaper interview that “I’m annoyed whenever I go to my local baker and find out that there are no more Schrippen for sale, only Wecken. In Berlin we say Schrippen – and the Swabians ought to get used to that.”
This would be funny except that he meant it. Which makes it funny after all, come to think of it. And I’m not even making this stuff up, people.
“Ich ärgere mich, wenn ich beim Bäcker erfahre, dass es keine Schrippen gibt, sondern Wecken. In Berlin sagt man Schrippen – daran könnten sich selbst Schwaben gewöhnen.”
Some ideas are so unoriginal that they’re almost original. But only almost. That’s why it’s time for something completely different (not) and “Dinner for One, or the 90th Birthday” on New Year’s Eve – in Germany. Yet again.
Happy New Year!
It’s a German New Year’s tradition – an English-language TV sketch that has been broadcast more often than any other program. It will be 50 years old in 2013.
Einen Engel erkennt man immer erst, wenn er vorübergegangen ist.
Wow. Front page material even (online): Cindy aus Marzahn herself.
An overweight 6-foot-2-inch Valkyrie of a woman in a pink velour sweatsuit, Cindy plays up the worst stereotypes of Germany’s contemporary version of the welfare queen. She wakes up at 2 o’clock in the afternoon and begins drinking. Her dream man, Enrico, stands 4-foot-10, weighs 375 pounds and works as a bouncer.
Critics call her act offensive, lowbrow and worse, mixing high-minded attacks on her with patronizing depictions of her supposedly benighted fans.
“I have Alzheimer’s bulimia,” Cindy likes to say. “I eat everything in sight and then forget to throw up.”
Observing Hermann 