German Of The Day: Under-reported

July 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Language, Media, Migrants, Political correctness Leave a comment

OK. That’s English. But still.

Authorities now say that more than 1,200 women were sexually assaulted across Germany that night, including about 400 in Hamburg and more than 600 in Cologne, by more than 2,000 men. Previous estimates had ranged in the dozens, both for the victims as well as suspects.

About half of the 120 suspects whose identity has been established had come to Germany from a foreign countries within the last years.

Uhm… Why was it under-reported? I mean, what could possibly be the reason for doing so? Does anyone know? I’m just asking.

“There is a connection between the emergence of this phenomenon and the rapid migration in 2015.”

This Is Not A Fake News Item

July 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Policial Correctness, Racism, Rape 2 Comments

I just don’t get this stuff anymore. Are these people only confused or just plain stupid?

A young left-wing German politician has admitted she lied to police about the racial background of three men who raped her in case it triggered reprisals against refugees in her country.

Selin Gören, the national spokeswoman of the left-wing youth movement Solid, was attacked by three men in January in the city of Mannheim where she works as a refugee activist.

The 24-year-old was ambushed late at night in a playground where she said she was forced to perform a sex act on her attackers.

After the assault she went straight to the police – but she did not tell them the ethnic make-up of the men, that they were speaking Arabic or Farsi.

Eine junge Frau wird vergewaltigt und sagt es niemandem. Der Grund: Die Täter waren Männer mit arabischer Herkunft. Sie wollte den Rassismus nicht weiter befeuern.

But Who’s Counting?

June 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees, Statistics Leave a comment

Migrants in Germany committed or tried to commit some 69,000 crimes in the first quarter of 2016, according to a police report that could raise unease, especially among anti-immigrant groups, about Chancellor Angela Merkel’s liberal migrant policy.

And how do the cops know that these are migrants committing these crimes? That’s easy: They’re the ones without any identification. 80 percent of the refugees coming to Germany do so without papers (and only about 30 percent of the grand total are actually war refugees at all).

Ain’t no big deal, I guess. So the next time you fly over to Germany from US-Amerka just leave your passport at home and explain that to the customs officials here. And good luck with that, too (maybe saying that you’re fleeing from the American presidential election festivities might work).

80 Prozent der Flüchtlinge kommen ohne Papiere.

Latest Cultural Exchange Takes Place

May 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Asylum Seekers, Berlin, Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Immigrants, Karneval der Kulturen, Migrants, Rape, Refugees, Sex Manual, Sexual Harassment 5 Comments

This time at Berlin’s Carneval of Cultures. Like, duh. Where else?

Police have detained three suspects after two teens were groped and robbed by a group of young men during Berlin’s “Karneval der Kulturen” festival. The assault was reminiscent of the New Year’s Eve attacks in Cologne.

Germans everywhere immediately began apologizing for not having first properly explained to these young men how sexual harassment, rape and robbery are not generally viewed as being socially acceptable in their country and then immediately sought to make amends for their shameful oversight by referring them to the German government’s latest $136,000 porn site specially designed for sex-starved refugees like themselves who are desperately trying to integrate with German women or anything else out there that moves.

Hmmm. They could have at least explained to that guy (I’m assuming here he’s the asylum-seeker) that the two of them are going to have to take the rest of their clothes off first.

The site is adorned with cartoon illustrations of various sex acts that are equally graphic and clinical. (Imagine the stick-figure man and woman on a public restroom sign pictured in virtually every conceivable sexual position.)

Money Doesn’t Stink In Germany

April 21, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cash, Corruption, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Money Laundering 2 Comments

That’s because it gets laundered here so much. Get it?

Over 100 billion euros gets processed here every year. They even call it Geldwäsche (money washing). That sounds a lot more, I dunno, cleaner than laundering does, don’t you think?

Germany is considered an El Dorado for criminals who want to launder their money, a study for the Finance Ministry has found.

Money laundering deals that take place outside of the finance sector go largely undetected in Germany – meaning a large proportion of all illegal business is never found, the report claims.

So like why go to the trouble of opening some fake offshore company in Panama?

Nur Bares ist Wahres?

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

April 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Boehmermann, Crime, Erdogan, Free speech, Germany, ISIS, Merkel, Safia S., Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Turkey 2 Comments

German prosecutors have said a 15-year-old girl who stabbed a police officer was conducting a “martyrdom operation” for the militant “Islamic State” (IS) group. The teen had previously met with IS members in Turkey.

I’m sure she’ll be punished harshly for her actions. By German standards, I mean.

Meanwhile, when it comes to more serious crimes like free speech… I mean serious things like thought crimes…

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced Friday that her government will grant a Turkish request for the prosecution of Jan Boehmermann after he recited a crude poem about Turkey’s president, despite “diverging opinions” within the German ruling coalition.

“We are Germans, renowned for our world-famous sense of humor.”

Yoga Spend The Rest Of Your Life In Prison

April 4, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Jail, Prisoners, Prisons, Punishment, Yoga 3 Comments

Or at least a year or two of your life, if it’s a German prison. Maybe longer, even. But only if they keep you in for good behavior.

Talk about your shocking, sickening and thoroughly unacceptable prison conditions.

The inmate conditions found at Heidering Prison about 20 miles south of Berlin, Germany would shock most Americans. The prison is surrounded by fences, not walls. The hallways are filled with light and inspiring views of the countryside beyond the perimeter. Thought-provoking artwork by inmates is on display. Prisoners walk the grounds in street clothes, practice yoga, take classes, and cook meals for themselves.

“I’ve been on a Google campus for other stories, and frankly, it reminded me very much of it.”

Leftest Violence Still As Harmless As Ever

February 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Arson, Berlin, Crime, Gentrification, German, Germans, Germany, Language, The Left, Vandalism, Violence Leave a comment

Ah Berlin. I love the smell of barbecue ignition chemicals in the morning.

In the past seven days, the extremists proved true to their claim, starting what could be the most destructive single anti-gentrification action any city in Europe has yet seen. On Saturday, a gang of 40 masked vandals smashed up 28 cars in the area near central Potsdamer Platz, leaving some of them in flames. Attacks continued the following night in the southwestern district of Neukolln, when at least 20 more cars were damaged and shop windows smashed in.

But don’t worry, folks. The Deutsche Welle reassures us that in the wake of two spates of property damage by extremists in Berlin, some news outlets and politicians have warned of a rise in “leftist violence.” But the long-term stats do not bear this out.

Well if it’s only a protest against gentrification, then alles klar (say no more). Why didn’t you say so in the first place? We thought it had something to do with property rights, respect for the law and senseless violence and vandalism again.

The vandals’ weapon of choice is a disposable tinfoil barbecue set of a sort that many German stores sell for use as summer grills in the park.

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

February 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anxiety, Crime, Fear, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Gun control, Guns, Insecurity, Political Parties, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Weapons 2 Comments

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

German Of The Day: Antanzdiebstahl

January 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrants, Pickpockets, Refugees, Thieves Leave a comment

Antanzan = to “dance” up, as in to show up, make an appearance. Diebstahl = theft or robbery.

Antanzen + Diebstahl = Antanzdiebstahl. This new German word refers to a new method of pickpocket robbery that certain new arrival-types to Germany are now using all across the country, “a type of con in which thieves approach victims and hug or otherwise surprise them, with the aim of distracting them in order to pick their pockets.”

Sex attacks and thefts like the ones that happened in Cologne on New Year’s Eve were also reported in 12 other German states, German media say. The information comes from a leaked report of the federal criminal police.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Crime