What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Ein Frührentner (an early retiree). Please laugh, but please also be assured that I personally know a German teenager who actually answered this question this way and was NOT joking.

Retirees

And this really shouldn’t come as a surprise in a country where, according to the latest poll, 53 percent of the employed don’t plan to work past the age of 63 and barely one third of them expect to work until the “official” reitrement age of 65. Or is it 67 now? Wait, or is it 63 doch (after all)?

At any rate, whatever the official German retirement age may be, rest assured that it will not be the age at which the majority of Germans will be retiring.

Ein knappes Drittel will dagegen bis zum regulären Renteneintrittsalter weiterarbeiten.

Taylorismus-Made

Please read the following out loud in that classic monotone el cheapo Hollywood movie robot voice:

Taylorism

We are all robots here. No one talks. It is ghostly quiet here in the Amazon warehouse.

We are forced to wear these weird orange signal jackets. Amazon wants us to hand over our brains at the door once we enter here. There is no turning back.

Only the customer is allowed to have any individuality.

Everything is fully conform. Every step is standardized. Deviations would disrupt the calculation.

They have got me so far that I now do everything they say (just like I already do outside when watching the Tagesschau or when reading Spiegel Online).

I have no free will. We are all victims and are being ausgebeutet (exploited) to an unbearable degree. This is Kapitalismus pur or something. Oh my God we are all going to die. No, wait. We are dead already.

“Mich haben sie jetzt so weit. Ich mache, was man mir sagt.”

German Job Wonder So Wunderbar That Millions Of Germans Have Two

Or need to have two, I should say.

Zweitjob

Nearly 3 million Germans or over 9 percent of those working full-time are now working part-time as well.

Nope, it’s not because Germans are particularly fleißig (hardworking). This German job wonder that everybody envies so much over here, like everything else in life, comes with a price. The income from many of these wunderjobs is simply no longer enough to get by on. Kein Auskommen mit dem Einkommen (can’t make out with what comes in), or something like that.

Ist es pure Not oder der Wunsch, sich mehr leisten zu können?

Nobody Wants To Work In The World’s Most Popular Country

Why aren’t there zillions of highly qualified foreigners standing in line to come to live and work in Germany (but not like forever or anything if you don’t want to) as expected when the German blue card was introduced a year ago?

Blue Card

This blue card holder above (the person on the right) is only about one of only about 2500 who have expressed an interest in doing so since the card was introduced – and 70 percent of those 2500 were already living in Germany under a different status at the time of the card’s introduction.

I don’t get it. I thought Germany was so well-loved in the world and all that (there are at least 100 reasons for this I am told). There seems to be some kind of a disconnect here. Why are so many foreigners still insisting to prefer going to such yucky places like US-Amerika instead? Don’t they ever read the papers or anything? Hey, if you’re that uninformed pal, Germany probably doesn’t want you in the first place. So there.

Die meisten Blue-Card-Besitzer kamen aus Indien (1971) – gefolgt von China (775) und Russland (597). Das Bürgerkriegsland Syrien ist mit 389 Akademikern ebenfalls stark vertreten.

Take Your Pick

You can have the German headline Zahl der Jobs seit Obamas Amtsantritt gestiegen (the number of jobs has increased during Obama’s term of office)…

Or you can have the German headline Arbeitslosenquote steigt vor US-Wahl leicht (the jobless rate climbs slightly before the US election – with the emphasis on slightly here, people).

The main thing is that they both remain misleading. I guess this psychological prepping now will be needed later to explain how dumb and ungrateful Americans are (if Obama loses) or how truly deserving his magnificent victory really was (if he wins).

Man of man. You can almost cut the nervous German nervousness here with a knife right now.

Arbeitslosenzahlen lassen Obama aufatmen.

Germany Drains Spain’s Brains

In a ghoulish plan to intensify their already ironclad grip of an anemic Europe, depraved German industrialists have now begun luring unsuspecting southern European engineers to Germany by offering them well-paid jobs which will allow them (the depraved Germans) to drain their brains at leasure.

To make matters worse, if that were possible, another grisly gimmick has also been introduced in which so-called “blue cards” (green had already been taken) are being offered to skilled non-EU workers, as well. Although ostinsibly intended to “make the immigration process” easier, this “blue card” babble is clearly just another cynical euphemism for more German brain draining activity.

The gruesome brain-sucking capitalist bastards.

In December, a planeload of 100 Spanish engineers flew to nearby Stuttgart for a weekend of job interviews. Within a month, about a third of them had been hired. And some German companies have been making connections over the Internet, simply plucking Spanish, Portuguese, Greek and Italian professionals from sites like LinkedIn.

Speaking Of The Dark Side

Here’s a little tidbit about the dark side of “Germany’s jobs miracle.”

“BEST LOW WAGE SECTOR IN EUROPE”

Job growth in Germany has been especially strong for low wage and temporary agency employment because of deregulation and the promotion of flexible, low-income, state-subsidised so-called “mini-jobs”.

The number of full-time workers on low wages – sometimes defined as less than two thirds of middle income – rose by 13.5 percent to 4.3 million between 2005 and 2010, three times faster than other employment, according to the Labour Office.

Germany can only hope that other European countries do not emulate its own wage deflationary policies too closely, as demand will dry up: “If everyone is doing same thing, there won’t be anyone left to export to.”

PS: Like I noted on a post the other day, the USA and Germany have more in common than they think. Now the Greeks are burning German flags, too.

Europeans Hurting Republican Feelings Again

The title reads: Greeks and Italians Work Harder Than Americans.

One common reaction to the European debt crisis has been to blame the victim: If only those Greeks/Italians would work harder, like us Americans/Germans, then they wouldn’t be in this pickle, the thinking goes.

Except it’s not, how do you say, true: Greeks and Italians actually work more than Americans and Germans.

How Miraculous

Hidden behind the so-called German economic miracle is an underclass of low-paid employees whose incomes have benefited little from the country’s stability and in fact have shrunk in real terms over the last decade.

Despite Germany’s renowned inflation-fighting efforts, which kept consumer price increases at an average of 1.7 percent a year from 2000 to 2010, more and more low-income Germans report that they cannot make ends meet despite having a job and that they must rely upon state aid to supplement their income.

Nowhere is this deepening chasm more visible than in Berlin-Mitte, the prosperous center of the capital, full of handsome government buildings and fine restaurants that cater to officials and lobbyists.

On a rainy summer morning here, only a 10-minute walk from the glamorous Unter Den Linden boulevard, hundreds of poorly dressed men and women lined up inside the district employment office. Some of them had come to look for work, some were applying for state help and some just wanted to accompany a friend.

“They cannot live off their income. Their wages are just too low. They have no choice but to receive help from the state.”

Bad Jobs Must Go

Wow. Even the Brave New Non-Nuclear World (in Germany) demands its tribute.

10,000 jobs at Germany’s energy giant Eon will have to go, for instance. But these folks will gladly take on this burden because its what “the people” want. Unfortunately, only about one third of those gladly taking on the burden will be German employees, but you can bet that there will be  further opportunites for them to excel in the very near brave new future.

Das sind mehr als zehn Prozent der gesamten Belegschaft. Damit würde der Sparkurs des Konzerns viel härter ausfallen als bisher bekannt.