This Is Supposed To Be News?

June 11, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Anti-Americanism, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Obama, Polls, Trust, Ukraine 6 Comments

It’s never been any different.

A poll published by research firm infratest dimap last week indicates German trust in the U.S. has plummeted to lows not seen since the thick of the Iraq war. Another poll, published in May, showed those Germans surveyed were more interested in deepening their country’s ties with China than they were in doing so with the U.S. A third, published in April, showed that nearly half wanted Germany to take a “middle position” in the Ukraine conflict rather than standing firmly on the side of the West.

The Removal Of This Sign Is Strictly Forbidden

June 9, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Signs Leave a comment

Cool Berliner signs and Zettel. For no particular reason at all.

Maybe The Turks Could Build One Of These New-Fangled Airport Thingies In Berlin, Too

June 8, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, Berlin, Berlin-Brandenburg Airport, Corruption, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Istanbul, Projects, Satire, Technology Leave a comment

The construction of the world’s largest airport began on June 7 in Istanbul with a massive groundbreaking ceremony. When fully completed in 2018, the 10 billion-euro airport will be able to carry 150 million passengers a year, making it one of the world’s busiest airports.

Meanwhile, back in Germany…

Berlin’s disastrous airport project (groundbreaking so long ago nobody can remember anymore, at one time planned to open in June 2012 Anno Domini) was hit with another scandal after its technical director was suspended pending an investigation into alleged corruption. A “leading employee” responsible for awarding contracts during the on-going construction of the hopelessly-delayed Berlin Brandenburg airport (BER), is suspected of having demanded €500,000 bribes from a prospective contractor.

Berlin’s airport is already too small.

N S A B N D M O U S E

June 6, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: BND, Eavesdropping, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, NSA, Satire, Spying Leave a comment

Who’s the leader of the club
That spies on you and me?
N S A B N D M O U S E!

Germany’s foreign intelligence agency is officially lifting the lid on some of its worst-kept secrets by acknowledging that half a dozen facilities are in fact spy stations.

“Diese Aufgaben gehören zum Kernauftrag des Bundesnachrichtendienstes und beruhen auf gesetzlicher Grundlage. Zu diesen Aufgaben stehen wir, weshalb wir zukünftig auf die Legendierung dieser Außenstellen im Inland verzichten.”

Not Even German Astronauts Can Escape Tatort

June 5, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Alexander Gerst, Astronouts, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, ISS, Tatort, TV Leave a comment

A Soyuz spacecraft launched last night (May 28) from Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan docked with the International Space Station in the early hours of this morning. Onboard were ESA astronaut Alexander Gerst and his Expedition 40/41 crewmates, who will now live and work in space for the next six months…

And watch Tatort.

Der deutsche Astronaut Alexander Gerst (38) erlebt derzeit das, wozu viele Menschen wahrscheinlich nie die Möglichkeit haben werden: Als Bordingenieur arbeitet er nun für einige Monate auf der internationalen Raumstation ISS. Damit verbunden ist natürlich ein atemberaubender Bilck auf die Erde. Doch auf eines möchte der Raumfahrer während seiner Mission im All nicht verzichten: die “Tagesthemen” und den Tatort.

Bio Business Big Bad Business

June 4, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Arte, Big Business, Documentaries, Food, German, Germans, Germany, Mafia, Money, Organic Food, TV Leave a comment

Everybody buys Bio (organic) here. You know, like with real, non-organic money? It’s not just for the bio bourgeoisie anymore.

So don’t watch that there “Bio-Illusion” documentary on Arte if you can help it, folks. Not even if you can go back in time to yesterday to see it when it was on, I mean. Which you can’t, I bet.

Those who believe that organic farming is the work of some sinister food mafia will only be reinforced after watching the documentary “Bio-Illusion.” The others will be angry, with good reason.

Wo Bio draufsteht, muss noch längst nicht Bio drin sein.

PS: Speaking of the organic illusion, here’s another one for you here made in the US of A.

That’s No German Sunbather

June 3, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education Tags: Airplanes, German, Germans, Germany, Helgoland, Near Misses, Videos 1 Comment

This here “Video captures terrifying moment low-flying plane misses German sunbather by just inches” video is like such a fake.

That dude can’t be a German sunbather. He’s still wearing clothes.

A German sunbather is seen just seconds before a plane nearly collided into him while attempting to land on a nearby airstrip at the island of Helgoland, in northern Germany.

German Of The Day: Lebenslänglich

June 2, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Media, Murder, Prisons, Punishment 1 Comment

That means life-long, like in a life-long prison sentence?

That’s what this guy here got for killing that young woman there (and someone else not pictured), pretty much televised live. Actually, he got two life-long prison sentences. And that’s why he’s getting out of prison now because life-long in Germany, as in life-long prison sentence life-long, means 15 years and since he was sentenced in 1991 that means that, well, I dunno, he’s been in there a whole lot of years and it’s only fair that he be allowed to come out now, right?

Das Landgericht in Essen hatte die beiden Männer 1991 zu lebenslanger Haft verurteilt.

Cheepnis

June 1, 2014 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Amazon, Dumb Deutsch, eBooks, Frank Zappa, German, Humor, Language, Sales, Satire 2 Comments

It doesn’t get any cheaper than this, folks. Not for this ebook here, it doesn’t.

Kindle Countdown Deals let authors provide readers with limited-time discount promotions on their books available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

German Intelligence Service Devises Diabolically New And Original Espionage Technique

June 1, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: BND, Eavesdropping, Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Intelligence Agencies, NSA, Satire Leave a comment

But don’t tell anybody you heard it from me.

It goes like this: The BND is soon going to start monitoring users of social networks like Facebook and Twitter in something they are referring to here as “Echtzeit.” “Echtzeit” can roughly be translated as “real-time” and means that said users will be monitored – now get this – live. That’s right. Like while it’s actually happening?

Let me repeat this so you will understand the implications of what it is I’m saying here: They will actually be seeing what these people are typing while they are actually typing it. Just like you and I and everybody else on Facebook and Twitter the world over are doing already, I mean. Like how creepy is that?

Befreundete Nachrichtendienste seien methodisch viel weiter

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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