German Of The Day: German Mut

May 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Cannabis, Christian Lindner, Economic Liberalism, FDP, Flat Tax, Free Choice, Free Democrats, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Liberalism, Marijuana, Political Parties, Taxation 1 Comment

Nope, that doesn’t mean German pooch or mongrel. That means German courage.

And it takes quite a bit of German courage for a German political party to come out in support of economic-liberal policies and free choice in a country like Germany these days (in the end, most Germans want everything regulated for them and prefer equality and conformity to free choice). But that is what the FDP (FDP 2.0?) is trying to do. They’re still on the outside looking in after their ousting in 2013 but appear to be bouncing back, at least for the moment.

They are currently so courageous, in fact, that they must be high. Not only are the Free Democrats now proposing that marijuana be legalized, which isn’t all that original these days, they also think it’s time for Germany to introduce a flat tax. Good luck on that. That’ll be a real hard one to sell here, as elsewhere. Who’s going to “eat the rich” then?

“Die erste Reform, die wir unserem Land empfehlen, ist eine Reform der Mentalität.”

As If German Women Talking During Sex Wasn’t Bad Enough Already

May 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hotness, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Language, Lippenbekenntnisse, Sex, Spiegel TV, Talking, Women Leave a comment

Now they’re talking about it again. Like afterwards even.

Must be a slow news day. This is clearly a re-run of a re-run that’s already done run. Not just the talking part, I mean. These clips, too.

But at least it’s in German. German women speaking German are pretty sexy, I find.

Frauen sprechen über Sex: Das erste und das letzte Mal

German Of The Day: Nervensäge

May 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Birthdays, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Idioms, Language, Political Parties, Politicians 4 Comments

That means “nerve saw” or annoying person. And heaven knows that Claudia Roth of the German Greens has spent an entire career making a name for herself in that department.

The Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung even once referred to her as the “Mother of All Nerve Saws.” But that was then and this is now. She has clearly mellowed out now that she just turned 60 (today). Now it’s more like she just gnaws on your nerves.

Happy Birthday, Claudia!

Selbst Etiketten wie “Mutter aller Nervensägen”, wie die “FAZ” einmal schrieb, ärgern die streitbare Politikerin nicht. Im Gegenteil: Im Bundestagswahlkampf 2013 griff sie das Thema selbstironisch auf, eine Parteikampagne für mehr weibliche Mitglieder warb mit dem Spruch: “Wer nervt mehr als Claudia?”

But What Does This Guy Know?

May 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: BND, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Spies, Spying Leave a comment

China and Russia are the most avid intelligence gatherers in Germany, says Hans-Georg Maassen, head of Germany’s intelligence agency.

But like, who cares about that? That’s beside the point or something. We Germans are empört (appalled) about this Skandal (scandal) and we’re going to stay that way, damn it.

Liebe Deutsche, findet euch damit ab, dass ihr ausspioniert werdet!

Even When We Win We Lose

May 11, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking Tags: Bremen, Elections, FDP, German, Germans, Germany, Lencke Steiner, Social Democracy, Socialism, SPD Leave a comment

Or so it goes with SPD these days.

Germany’s Social Democrats, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s coalition partners, on Sunday suffered their worst-ever electoral setback in regional polls in Bremen, raising questions about party leader Sigmar Gabriel’s hopes of gaining ground nationally on Ms Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats.

So sehen Sieger aus (this is what winners look like):

In Bremen ändern 6,5 Prozent für die FDP nicht viel. Im Bund aber eröffnet ihre Wiedererweckung Gedankenspiele für die Wahl 2017.

A Green Superpower?

May 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: CO2, Coal, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Nuclear power, Pollution, Renewable energy Leave a comment

Germany?

Germany is a superpower when it comes to setting ambitious goals. But it’s even better at burning coal.

Germany aims to generate 80% of its power from renewable sources by 2050 with nuclear being fully phased out by 2021. But given the costs associated with renewables and the challenge of replacing nuclear power efficiently, it is not clear that Germany will succeed in either of these goals…

The Germans have increasingly turned to coal as their power generation source of choice, especially U.S. coal. Today coal power plants are responsible for generating nearly half of Germany’s power, and numerous new plants are scheduled to come online in the next few years.

Overall, the increase in coal is likely to create a significant increase in airborne pollution and potentially stoke tension between Germany and its neighbors. But at the same time, if Germany wants to phase out nuclear power, coal is the only realistic option; a fact which some German politicians are starting to admit.

Our Espionage Doesn’t Stink

May 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: BND, CIA, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Security, Spying, Terrorism 1 Comment

On the one hand, we as German spies only do nice spying and would never spy on friends much less on other other nice Germans like ourselves.

“But on the other hand, intelligence agencies are working to ensure the public’s safety and the German government will do everything it can to ensure that it can carry out its job.

“And this ability to carry out its duties in the face of international terrorism threats is done in cooperation with other intelligence agencies, and that includes first and foremost the NSA.”

Deutschland regt sich über eine Spionageaffäre auf. Dabei wäscht seit Jahrzehnten unter den westlichen Diensten eine Hand die andere. Wir sollten endlich realistisch mit dem Thema Sicherheit umgehen.

German Of The Day: Krawalltourismus

May 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anarchism, Berlin, Demonstrations, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Riots, Violence, Workers Leave a comment

That means “violent demonstration tourism,” more or less. And May Day (or International Workers’ Day) is booked out completely for this every year in Berlin.

These international workers are off that day, you see. And it’s a bewitching event that these folks just can’t afford to miss. You know, tradition and all that?

Weder mystisch noch romantisch. Für die Berliner Polizei steht run um die Maifeiertage viel Arbeit an.

Germans Can’t Figure Out Why Germans Keep Disappearing

April 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Aging, Birth Rates, Demographics, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, Interventionism, Satire, Sex Education 6 Comments

Suffering from one of the lowest birth rates in the EU and xenophobic to the core (although officially in denial about this), Germans everywhere (or at least where you can still find them) are puzzled by the continued drop in Germany’s population.

Federal statistics office Destatis said Germany was expected to have between 68 and 73 million inhabitants by 2060, compared to its current 81 million.

I think it’s time for even more concentrated government intervention, don’t you? More sex education efforts, for instance.

“It won’t fall below the 2013 level until at least 2023.”

German Of The Day: Heimatfilme

April 29, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berlin, CIA, Claire Danes, Films, German, Germans, Germany, Homeland, Language, Terrorism, TV Series 2 Comments

Heimatfilm (German pronunciation: [ˈhaɪmatˌfɪlm], German for “homeland-film“; German plural: Heimatfilme) is the name given to a film genre that was popular in Germany, Switzerland, and Austria from the late 1940s to the early 1970s. They were usually shot in the Alps, the Black Forest, or the Lüneburg Heath and always involved the outdoors. These films were noted for their rural settings, sentimental tone and simplistic morality, and centered on love, friendship, family and non-urban life. Also, the polarity between old and young, tradition and progress, and rural and urban life was articulated. The typical plot structure involved both a “good” and “bad” guy wanting a girl, conflict ensuing, and the “good” guy ultimately triumphing to win the girl to the happiness of everyone and the children.

Well that’s cool and all but I guess they’ve tweaked the genre around a bit because they’re going to film the next bunch of “homeland-films” with lots of guns and blood and terror and stuff right here in not so non-urban Berlin itself. But still.

The fifth series will pick up two-and-a-half years after the previous one ended, with main character Carrie Mathison out of the Middle East and in self-imposed exile in the German Capital.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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