And the S-Bahn was only twenty minutes late in her honor.
Im Bentley ist doch öde. Hier reist die Queen mit der S-Bahn an.
Tag Archives: Germans
Little Oskar Banging His Tin Drum Again
And still refusing to grow up. This is, after all, the failed SPD chancellor candidate who then somehow managed to go even further left and join the Left Party to fail big time there, too.
He has these fits every now and then, folks. Ain’t no big deal. This time it looks like somebody opened a Facebook account for him (I bet it was his current wife, Rosa Luxemburg) and now that US-Amerika‘s latest defense minister Ashton Kutcher, I mean Carter, has come to the American sector itself he’s going hog wild in a big way (Oskar not Ashton). And speaking of which, how many freakin’ defense ministers have we had these past six or seven years anyways?
Carter having been sent to Germany by Warlord President of Naked Aggression George W. Bush himself, Oskar is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore and has lambasted this affront by calling to “fuck the US imperialism,” although it isn’t at all clear who he wants to have do this for him. And speaking of which, I meant the World President of Peace Obama HIMSELF himself, of course.
“The US war minister calls Europeans to stand up against Russian ‘aggression’ whereas the Europeans have all the more reason to stand up against US aggression.”
Attention for those of you who wear glasses: That loud drum-pounding of his can certainly be annoying and all but what you really have to watch out for are his glass-breaking screams.
Der US-Kriegsminister ruft die Europäer dazu auf, sich der russischen ‘Aggression’ entgegenzustellen. Dabei hätten die Europäer allen Grund, sich der Aggression der USA entgegenzustellen.”
Robot Opera Singer Premieres In Berlin
Like duh. Where else would a robot opera singer premiere at?
Europe Must Think Hard About Automobile Control
“At some point we as a politico-economic union will have to reckon with the fact that this type of violence doesn’t happen in other advanced politico-economic unions or countries,” one leading European politician said, unnamed for the moment. “It doesn’t happen with this sort of frequency.”
The comments came after a maniac driver in Graz, Austria mounted his vehicle on the pavement and aimed it at pedestrians – sending several crashing into the windscreen and flying over the car and killing at least three – before getting out and stabbing bystanders with a knife
“We will also need to think hard about stricter knife control, too,” the politician then added.
“I heard a little hissing sound as it went past at maybe 100kmh.”
Forget The Ploughshares
We’re going to turn our old Cold War military bases into wildlife preserves.
The German government has announced plans to convert 62 disused military bases just west of the Iron Curtain into nature reserves for eagles, woodpeckers, bats, and beetles (personally, I wouldn’t trust a woodpecker as far as I could throw one).
Jeepers. It’s not like Germany has a need for a military presence anymore or anything.
“We are fortunate that we can now give these places back to nature,” says German Environment Minister Barbara Hendricks. Whatever that is. Nature, I mean.
Welcome To The Hotel Kalimera
You can checkout any time you like. But you can never leave.
Are German tourists still welcome in crisis-battered Greece? “Definitely!” insists the travel board of Europe’s top economy, which nevertheless issued a few words of caution Thursday.
Protracted talks on Greece’s debt crisis may have driven up tensions with Europe’s paymaster Germany but visitors can still count on a warm reception, the German Travel Association (DRV) said.
But what if Greece should default on its loans, exit the eurozone and reintroduce the drachma? Fear not, the DRV said. “There would only be a limited impact on holidaymakers, particularly those on package tours. Flights, hotel stays and bus transfers are bought and covered by contracts.”
Russian And Chinese Intelligence Services Now Big Edward Snowden Fans, Too
It’s not just the Germans who worship the very ground this guy whistleblows on. The Russian and Chinese spy communities are really thrilled with him, too. Particularly when it comes to the secret information they have now been able to access by breaking into the encrypted files held by the heroic American turncoat.
“Snowden has done incalculable damage,” one British intelligence source has just reported. “In some cases the agencies have been forced to intervene and lift their agents from operations to prevent them from being identified and killed.”
Russland und China sollen streng geheime Dokumente des früheren US-Geheimdienstmitarbeiters und Whistleblowers Edward Snowden entschlüsselt haben.
Know Your Friends
You know, like you know your enemies? But with friends like this…
According to a Pew Research Center study, only 38 percent of Germans would want to help a NATO country if it were to be attacked by Russia. Far more than half of those asked would be against it. So much for NATO’s Article 5.
Das ist im Vergleich mit anderen Nato-Ländern die größte Ablehnung militärischer Hilfe nach Artikel 5 des Nato-Vertrags, der im Angriffsfall die gemeinsame Verteidigung vorsieht. In Italien (51 Prozent), Frankreich (53) und Spanien (47) sind die Werte der Umfrage zufolge etwas niedriger, während in Polen und Großbritannien fast die Hälfte der Befragten für eine militärische Unterstützung wäre.
This Is Like Work Or Something
Exhausted from all of the political activism activity anti-G7 political activists have been expected to do already, bone-weary protestors are now leaving the G7 conference in droves before someone asks them to get even more politically active than they already have been.
“Like, I had to sit-in for over two full hours yesterday and hold up this stupid sign the whole time, too,” said one disillusioned demonstrator, his red cardboard nose still being sweat upon profusely. “OK, sure, after having slept-in twelve hours after that party the night before first, but still. If I had known this was going to be work I would never have left Berlin to come down here in the first place. These are like Manchester capitalist sweatshop demonstrating conditions! I’m outta here.”
“You know, all of this, it’s exhausting.”
I Got Your FIFA For You Right Here
The German government sent a shipment of rocket-propelled grenades to Saudi Arabia in order to secure support for their bid to host the 2006 World Cup, according to the latest sensational claims in the FIFA scandal.
German newspaper Die Zeit say the country’s Football Association arranged for then Chancellor Gerhard Schroder’s administration to supply the arms in order to swing the Saudi vote from Morocco to Germany ahead of the vote in 2000.
Die Regierung von Gerhard Schröder beschloss eine Woche vor der WM-Vergabe die Lieferung von Panzerfäusten an Saudi-Arabien. Deutschland habe “kurzfristig das Waffenembargo aufgehoben”, sagte Guido Tognoni, damals Fifa-Mitarbeiter, später.
