Arresting One Of The Fourteen Would Have Been Enough

January 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: Anis Amri, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Islamist Terror, Police, Security, Surveillance, Terror Leave a comment

Why did German authorities fail to stop Anis Amri, Spiegel asks? Like, duh. Because they can. And boy oh boy can they ever.

I mean, what didn’t go wrong here? Now it’s come out that this guy was known to German authorities under fourteen different identities long before the attack in Berlin took place. Nothing suspicious there, right? That’s why nothing was undertaken, I guess. Now people are asking why but they already know why because that’s why German authorities are there. To do nothing. Except get reprimanded for using bad words. That’s why. Inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Aus einem Bericht des NRW-Landeskriminaldirektors Dieter Schürmann vor dem Ausschuss ging hevor, dass Amri den deutschen Behörden unter insgesamt 14 verschiedenen Identitäten bekannt war.

Sharia Police

September 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cops, German, Germans, Germany, Islamists, Police, Salafists, Sharia, TV, Wuppertal 2 Comments

Sounds like it would make a good cop show to me.

I know. To give the German version an interesting twist they ought to name the main cop dude something bizarre like, I dunno, Sven or something.

An Islamist preacher suspected of leading self-styled “Sharia police” patrols in a German city is going on trial in Duesseldorf.

In 2014, Mr Lau is said to have led a group of men wearing high-visibility vests emblazoned with “Sharia police” on patrols in Wuppertal, western Germany in a bid to enforce their ultra-conservative interpretation of Islam.

Berlin Is So Poor…

August 31, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berlin, Cities, Finances, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Police, Poverty, Tasers 1 Comment

Poor? The city of Berlin is so poor that it can’t even afford the bullets for its policemen anymore.

Berlin’s plans to arm police patrols with taser guns would make it the first German state to implement extensive use of the electroshock weapon.

Makes good economic sense to me. Because then all they have to do is just hook them up to solar panels to recharge overnight.

Spätestens seitdem ein Beamter im Juni 2013 einen geistig verwirrten, bewaffneten Mann im Neptunbrunnen in Mitte erschoss, wird die politische Debatte um die Anschaffung der Taser geführt – auch und vor allem im Kontext des grotesk schlechten Zustands der Berliner Schießstände, an denen Polizisten den Einsatz ihrer Waffen in regelmäßigen Abständen trainieren müssen. In den vergangenen zwei Jahren hatten viele Beamte gar nicht mehr mit scharfer Munition üben, sondern lediglich ein Laser-Simulationsschießen als Ersatz absolvieren können.*

* That big long German sentence says, among other things, that Berlin cops don’t even have a decent firing range so they have to practice using laser simulation shooting.

Ex-Miss Germany Confirms Ex-Mister Germany Shot By Currently Reigning German Cops

August 26, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Eviction, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Miss Germany, Mister Germany, Police, Reichsbürger 2 Comments

An ex-Miss Germany friend of an el wacko former Mister Germany (who denies the existence of the Federal Republic of Germany) has confirmed that he was shot while being evicted from his home (a little place he calls “Primeval Nation”) during a police action in a town that goes by the name of Zeitz.

Adrian Ursache apparently had started a group of so-called “Reichsbürger”, or citizens of the Reich, who do not recognize the current government of the Federal Republic of Germany and therefore do not believe they should pay taxes or fines.

Up until the cops came to evict him Ursache apparently also refused to recognize the existence of German police weapons, too.

“Adrian war ehrlicherweise immer schon ein bisschen durchgeknallt*, aber dass es so eskaliert, macht uns sprachlos.”

* German of the day: Durchgeknallt. That means cuckoo.

Bomb Actually Sex Toy

April 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Bombs, Gambling, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Police, Sex Toys, Terror 3 Comments

So like, it doesn’t even qualify as a sex bomb?

German police called to the scene of a suspected bomb could breathe a sigh of relief when the feared explosive device turned out to be a sex toy…

Three explosives experts of the Office of Criminal Investigation in the state of Saxony-Anhalt were called in to defuse the ‘bomb’

However, when the bomb squad examined the bin, they found that the explosive device was in fact a battery-powered vibrating penis ring.

Two men in the squad, Dick und Doof, answered the ring, saying “Hallo? Hallo?” but were unfortunately unable to determine just who had placed the call.

Aus Sorge vor einem Sprengsatz evakuierte die Polizei die Spielothek sowie umliegende Geschäfte, brachte etwa 90 Menschen in Sicherheit und sperrte eine Straße.

We’ve Come A Long Way, Baby

March 17, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Daughters, Families, German, Germans, Germany, Mothers, Parenting, Police, Upbringing, Women Leave a comment

Landshut – A desperate mother called the police in Landshut because her seven-year-old daughter refused to go to bed. It had come to a heated argument between the two, the police reported, during which the girl insulted her mother and threw various objects at her. Once the 28-year-old got to the end of her rope she alerted the police. The officers calmed down the flared tempers. After a “tooth brushing under official supervision,” a policewoman brought the girl to bed.

Landshut – Eine verzweifelte Mutter hat in Landshut die Polizei gerufen, weil ihre siebenjährige Tochter nicht ins Bett gehen wollte. Es kam zu einem heftigen Streit zwischen den beiden, wie die Polizei mitteilte. Dabei beleidigte das Mädchen die Mutter und bewarf sie mit verschiedenen Gegenständen. Als sich die 28-Jährige nicht mehr zu helfen wusste, alarmierte sie am Abend die Polizei. Die Beamten beruhigten die erhitzten Gemüter. Eine Polizistin brachte das Mädchen nach «einer Zahnreinigung unter amtlicher Aufsicht» ins Bett.

Police Brutality Is Real

February 11, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Buses, BVG, Döner Kebab, Fast Food, Food, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Police, Public Transportation 1 Comment

Police in Berlin had to drag a man from a bus on Wednesday evening after he refused to stop eating a Döner which he’d brought on board.

It’s a far cry from the relaxed attitude promoted in BVG advertising.

Döner im Bus ist verboten – was ist denn erlaubt?

German Of The Day: Kultureller Austausch

January 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Cologne, Crime, Gangs, New Year's Eve, Police, Refugees, Reports, Sexual Assault 2 Comments

That means cultural exchange. You know, like the one that took place in Cologne on New Year’s Eve (not to mention in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Bielefeld, etc.)?

Here are a few examples of the mindset of some of the young men who participated in the festivities that night (in a report filed by the Cologne police):

After being confronted by the cops, one guy said “I’m a Syrian. You have to be friendly to me! Frau Merkel invited me.”

Another guy, after ripping up his residence permit in front of another cop, said “You can’t do anything about it. I’ll just get a new one tomorrow.”

Police trying to help some of the victims were held back by some of these men, others refused to leave the area after the police ordered them to do so, witnesses were threatened if they dared to identify any of them doing the harassment… You know, stuff like that. Nothing for anybody to get all hot and bothered about.

Der Verfasser des Berichts zieht ein düsteres Fazit: Den Maßnahmen der Beamten sei mit einer Respektlosigkeit gegegnet worden, “wie ich sie in 29 Dienstjahren noch nicht erlebt habe.”

German Police Academy II?

October 23, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Afghanistan, Arms exports, Germans, Germany, Iraq, ISIS, Kurds, Military, Police, Terror, Weapons Leave a comment

Word is out that Germans will “most likely” provide military training to Kurdish groups in northern Iraq.

That’s cool, I guess. But we can only hope that these trainers won’t be as ineffective as those who just spent ten years training Afghan police forces and failed miserably at it.

German officials have been training police in Afghanistan for a decade, but a visit to their training center in Mazar-e-Sharif creates major doubts about the effectiveness of the mission. Afghan police remain poorly prepared to tackle the mighty challenges they will face as Western forces withdraw.

Ineffective and Unsustainable: Failure Threatens Afghan Police Training Mission

Where Have All The Nazis Gone?

February 13, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Action Groups, Bombings, Demonstrations, Dresden, German, Germans, Germany, Nazis, Neo-Nazis, Police Leave a comment

What has become of Germany? You can’t even count on mindless herds of Neo-Nazis anymore.

In Dresden, I mean. For their annual “Bombenholocaust” (bombing of Dresden) get-together. Up to 6500 showed up in recent years but that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. It might have something to do with the two zillion police out on the streets but I’m just guessing here. OK, OK. And the Bürgerinitiativen (citizen’s action groups), too.

Am Donnerstag ist es wieder mal so weit – aber nach Lage der Dinge wird alles anders sein als in den Jahren zuvor.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Police