Stop Hurting Russia’s Feelings Already

May 1, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Hideology, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Cold War, Communism, Crimea, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, May Day, Political Parties, Putin, Rosa Luxemburg, Russia, Sahra Wagenknecht, Satire, Ukraine Leave a comment

Who would have expected that? The German Left Party itself (they used to be called the PDS or Partei der Stasi) has expressed grave concern over the EU’s aggressive stance toward the Soviet Union, I mean Vlad Putin’s democratic Russia.

Rosa Luxemburg, I mean Sahra Wagenknecht herself has sharply critisized European crisis management with regard to the Ukraine conflict, saying it consisted of “vile Russia bashing right out of the Cold War” and that the West is pursuing a vicious anti-Russian policy of exclusion and unniceness and rottenness and that everybody, those damned faschist Ukrainians included, should finally just leave our commrades, I mean Russian partners alone already.

May Day, May Day… Earth to Wagenknecht. Earth to Wagenknecht. Can you read me?

Das ist übles Russland-Bashing aus Kalter-Krieg-Zeiten.

Gerd Congratulates Vlad

April 29, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Corruption, Crimea, Gerhard Schroeder, German, Germans, Germany, Politicians, Putin, Russia, SPD, Ukraine 2 Comments

No, wait. Or is it Vlad congratulating Gerd? At any rate, there sure is a whole lot of Schroeder-Putin schmoozing going on around here these days.

Photos of Vladimir Putin and Gerhard Schroeder sharing an embrace have caused the German government to quickly distance itself from the former Chancellor.

“He does not represent the German government,” a senior government official said when asked about the pictures of Mr Schroeder’s meeting with Mr Putin. “It should be clear to everyone that Mr Schroeder left active politics some time ago.”

Mitten in der Ukraine-Krise wird Altkanzler Gerhard Schröder geknipst, wie er den russischen Präsidenten Wladimir Putin herzlichst umarmt.

German-Led Observers Lead Observer Team Into Captivity

April 27, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Hostages, Humor, OECD, One-Liners, Putin, Russia, Satire, Ukraine, Woody Allen Leave a comment

For more in-depth observation, I assume. And understanding.

Sheesh! I guess these guys must belong to the Woody Allen Brigade or something: “I’m classified as 4P. In case of war, I’m a hostage.”

Pro-Russia rebels have confirmed they are holding a German-led military observer team as hostages in the separatist stronghold of Slavyansk, as they announced plans to proceed with a referendum on May 11 to create a breakaway Donbass People’s Republic in eastern Ukraine.

“The Nato spies will be exchanged for our prisoners.”

Germans Show So Much Understanding For Putin Russia It Hurts

April 25, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Propaganda, Putin, Russia, Ukraine 3 Comments

It sure hurts to read some of this stuff, anyway.

Dear Mr. President, you have called for an economic community from Lisbon to Vladivostok for almost four years. It would be the economic basis for the“common European home”. Ukraine could make a perfect bridge for future cooperation between your intended Eurasian Union and the European Union, not least in cultural terms. We are persuaded that the purpose of the massive influence of the USA is to prevent the Ukraine from becoming such a bridge. The forces which have prevailed in the European Commission are supporting the policy of the United States against Russia.

“The aggression against Russia always comes from the West, Germany should exercise restraint.”

Easter Peace Marches So BORING These Days

April 21, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hideology, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, Easter, German, Germans, Germany, Peace, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

Nearly a million peaceniks used to get together in Germany back in the 80s (against American Pershing missiles) but these days it’s hard just getting a couple hundred peace activists together over Easter.

There’s just nothing worth marching against anymore, I guess.

In fact the only excitement anybody could seem to whip at all this year was a call for action under the motto “Stop NATO and EU Wars!”

Trotz Ukraine-Krise wenig Zulauf bei Ostermärschen

Berlin Starts Talking Tough To Russia After All

April 15, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Petitions, Protest, Putin, Russia, Sanctions, Satire, Tanks, Ukraine, WWII 1 Comment

Sort of. Jeepers creepers already! This ought to stop old Vlad Putin dead in his tank tracks.

Germany should remove a pair of World War Two-era Soviet tanks standing on pedestals next to Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate in protest at Russia’s actions in Crimea and Ukraine, Germany’s best-selling newspaper Bild said on Tuesday.

Launching a petition to get rid of the two green T-34 tanks that have stood in front of the Soviet war memorial since it was built in 1945, Bild and Berlin tabloid B.Z. urged readers to send letters of protest to parliament against the war symbols.

Wir wollen keine Russen-Panzer am Brandenburger Tor!

We Don’t Want To Ruffle Any Russian Feathers Here, People

April 14, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, Germans, Germany, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

European leaders have debated how to punish Russia for its actions in Crimea. But for many Germans, the key is not to ruffle Russian feathers.

And besides, “instead of playing the stooge of the US in the encirclement of Russia, Brussels must finally be able to build positive relations with Moscow and show understanding of Russian interests.”

Germany Says It’s “Very Worried” About Eastern Ukraine

April 7, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, Gazprom, Gerhard Schroeder, German, Germans, Germany, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

Russia replies: “You must have confused us with somebody who gives a shit.”

Pro-Russian demonstrators stormed regional government buildings in the industrial hub of Donetsk on Sunday as well as security service offices in nearby Luhansk and the regional administrative building in Kharkiv.

“We must urgently renew our appeal to all those in positions of responsibility to help stabilise the region and avoid such escalation.”

Meanwhile… Gazprom-Gerd celebrates his 70th birthday in Hannover and everybody is having a ball! It’s unclear if Vlad Putin will be able to attend or not, however.

News flash! This just in: Vlad couldn’t make it after all but sent G.-G. some Happy Birthday fireworks instead! How cute or something.

We Apologize For Being Russia Apologists

March 31, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Apologists, Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Henry Kissinger, Leftists, Putin, Russia, Stockholm Syndrome, Surveys, Ukraine Leave a comment

But we’ve already gotten over it and we’re sure that you will soon, too.

Be they people who simply romanticize Russia, those with a penchant for realpolitik, those nostalgic for the Soviet Union or just armchair leftists, there are so many people seemingly sympathetic to the annexation that many are scratching their heads and asking if Germany is a country of Russia apologists.

No need to wonder about it, people. You are.

In the states that were part of East Germany, one encounters a bond with the former occupying power that at times borders on Stockholm syndrome.

PS: Between rounds of apologies for Putin, 100 German academics have found the time to get together and write an open letter in opposition to the planned honorary professorship of Henry Kissinger at the University of Bonn. They accuse the Nobel Peace Prize winner of being a war criminal, a criminal against humanity a Chilean putschist dude and an overall Emperor of Evil. I’m going to go out on the limb here, but something tells me that these professors were students back in 1968.

We Are Not Soft On Russia

March 28, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: China, Crimea, Dependency, Exports, Free speech, Germany, Human Rights, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Trade Leave a comment

Germany said today. “We’re pretty soft on China, though.”

When asked why this is, the craven central European country replied “Well duh. We’re just like real pushovers when it comes to Chinese cash, that’s all. Isn’t every exporting powerhouse? We had a trade volume with China of 140.4 billion euros ($193 billion) last year, after all. That makes them our number 3 trading partner! And here you thought we were just dependent upon Russian gas.”

Asked whether China should stand up more assertively against Russia’s actions in Ukraine, Xi said that “China has no private interests” on the matter and added that Beijing always insists on non-interference in other countries’ internal affairs, as well as respecting nations’ territorial integrity.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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