Phase-Out Fizzling Out

October 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic power, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Nuclear power, Renewable Power, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, The Greens, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Support for Germany’s Atomausstieg (nuclear phase-out) ain’t what it used to be, it seems. And it seems to have something to do with Geld (money), or something. With reality, in other words.

According to an Emnid survey, 77 percent of German voters asked say it is very important that energy costs remain affordable while only 53 percent care if the nuclear phase-out succeeds or not.

Welcome back to the real world, volks, I mean folks. Hey, you are here in Germany after all. And there is a clearly discernable pattern here. Once the first wave of hysteria is over, it always goes back to es darf eben nichts kosten (OK, but only as long as it doesn’t cost anything).

Für sie ermittelte Emnid auch, dass zwei Drittel der Bürger maximal 50 Euro pro Jahr mehr für Strom zahlen wollen.

This Still Doesn’t Beat Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize

October 13, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, EU, European Union, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jokes, Nobel Committee, Nobel Peace Prize, Satire, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, The Financial Crisis Leave a comment

But it comes close.

Many euroskeptics clearly just don’t get it. Of course the Norwegian Nobel Committee’s decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to the European Union is “beyond parody,” “laughable” and an “April Fool’s Joke.” That’s been the whole point of the thing for years now.

Hasn’t it?

In Britain, Friday’s award has been the subject of particularly heated commentary. Iain Martin, a columnist with the conservative Daily Telegraph dismissed the prize as “beyond parody.” He writes that the prize has been awarded prematurely because “we have no idea how the experiment to create an anti-democratic federation will end.” Besides, he writes, “daftest of all is the notion that the EU itself has kept the peace.” Instead, he writes, it was the Brits and the Americans who brought peace to the Continent.

Even the EU-friendly Economist columnist Charlemagne writes, “Hmmm,” questioning the timing of the award, given that the EU is currently threatened with a break-up.

Romney Still Bad

October 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Hype, Journalism, Obama, Romney, Satire, Spin, Unemployment Leave a comment

Germans weren’t fooled one minute by Mitt Romney’s impressive performance during the first presidential debate (just see photo below).

And now they are being reassured by German Presseorgane (press organs) that the sudden, completely unexpected and, well, near miraculous drop in the American unemployment rate to 7.8% will ensure that the right guy (as in left guy) will get re-elected after all.

Alles wird gut (everything will fall into place). Alles wird gut… Oder?

Noch nie wurde ein US-Präsident bei einer Arbeitslosenquote über acht Prozent wiedergewählt.

Electric Cars Have Already Reached A Whopping 0.01 Percent Of All Registered Cars In Germany

October 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Alternative Energy, Automobiles, Berlin, Cars, Ecars, Electric Cars, German, Germans, Germany, Green Technology, Humor, Satire, Technology, The Green Shirts Leave a comment

That’s some, uh, 4,600 vehicles. At this rate, the German government’s plan to have 1 million electric cars on the road by 2020 will be reached easily.

Or maybe not. Because those pesky German consumers still haven’t got the message and think that these babies are too expensive and don’t have a long enough range to make them attractive as, you know, as cars.

So that’s why the German government, flexible as it is, has now said that their goal of 1 million electric cars by 2020 (set last year) has now become a goal of 600,000 electric cars by 2020. I can’t wait to see what next year’s goal for 2020 will be like.

Damn. I’m impressed. This German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is getting easier and easier to reach all the time.

“If we don’t create incentives, then the whole thing is going to fail,” the Green party said in a statement.

German “Critical Thinking” vs. American Debate Culture

October 3, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Criticial Thinking, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Political Cutlure, Political Debates, Politics, Presidential Debates, Satire 3 Comments

Here is another interesting German commentary by American Eric T. Hansen in Die Zeit.

I’d like to translate it all, but I can’t, so I won’t (no time). Here are a few highlights, though:

Critical thinking does not allow for self-criticism. Where would we be then?

Critical thinking is not debating, it’s finding concensus, or, as I call it, harmony nagging (Harmonienörgeln): Two people criticize a third person so long until the two become friends.

If I want to hear a new or even a different perspective on something, I have to turn to the Anglo-American press. Regarding certain questions – for instance whether nuclear energy, genetically modified corn or having Mitt Romney as president might also have certain advantages – many of my German friends are not even aware that two sides to these arguments even exist.

I too understand Mitt Romney’s positions quite well and suspect that he would make just as good (or bad) a president as Obama. In America that makes me an intellectual. In Germany that makes me a right-winger.

Everything is so serious for the Germans, and they need to know immediately: “Who is my friend, who is my enemy?” For Americans and their debate clubs, however, there is always an element of playfulness involved.

Auch ich verstehe die Positionen eines Mitt Romney gut und ahne, dass er ein ebenso guter (oder schlechter) Präsident wie Obama wäre. In Amerika macht mich das zu einem Intellektuellen. In Deutschland macht mich das zu einem Rechten.

Germans Concerned That Obama Maybe Could Might Not Be Reelected Doch Nicht (After All) Perhaps

October 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Debt, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Humor, Obama, Political Science, Romney, Satire, Unemployment, USA, Washington Leave a comment

Germans everywhere are all aflutter these days at the prospect of their United States President maybe not being automatically reelected after all, like which ought to be selbstverständlich (understood) or something but isn’t irgendwie (somehow).

German political scientists have namely just discovered that the unemployment rate in the US of Obama is well over 8 percent (and has been during the entire Obama administration), poverty levels are way up (3.6 million more Americans live off state support than before he entered office), the rate of founding new companies is at a thirty year low, government spending and debt have risen to incredible levels and the economy will simply not kick into gear, with no recovery or White House plan to change any of this in sight (and with no George W. Bush in sight to blame anymore, either).

Otherwise though, Obama is still the perfect guy for the job. So alles wird gut (everything will fall into place), they HOPE (way cool slogan from somebody a few years back).

Gouverneur Martin O’Malley geriet in Verlegenheit. Ob es den Menschen besser gehe als vor vier Jahren, wollte ein Reporter von dem demokratischen Gouverneur Marylands wissen. “Nein”, hatte O’Malley geantwortet.

Grass Caught Smoking Grass Again

September 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Intellectuals, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Satire Leave a comment

After basking in the glory of his warmly received and highly acclaimed anti-Israeli poem in April, Germany’s Nobel Prize-winning author Günter Grass just can’t seem to help himself and has published yet another poetic work criticizing Israeli policy.

In his latest magnum opus, he praises, among other things, “A Hero in Our Time,” Mordechai Vanunu, who served 18 years in prison for espionage after betraying his country’s nuclear secrets to the Sunday Times of London.

By absoulte sheer amazing coincidence, Grass just released this work in a new book of poems yesterday appropriately entitled “Eintagsfliegen” (One-Hit Wonders) and in no way intended or intends to bring any unwarranted attention to himself and/or said book which can now be purchased online or at a bookstore near you.

And please remember: This is not, never has been nor never will be anti-Semitic abuse. Enlightened Germans (and all Germans are) don’t do that kind of stuff (anymore). This is freakin’ German Nobel Prize-winning author Gunter Grass we’re talking about here, people. For crying out loud.

In 2006, Grass admitted in an interview that he had joined the Waffen-SS as a teenager at the end of World War II, and was accused at the time of having hidden the truth for decades while at the same time pointing the finger at others for hiding their Nazi past.

Well I Thought It Was Real News, Too

September 28, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Ahmadinejad, Berlin, Gallup Polls, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Obama, Polls, Satire, The Onion Leave a comment

German news is reporting that Iranian news is reporting that American news is reporting that a Gallup poll is reporting how rural white Americans prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama.

Unfortunately (did I just write unfortunately?), this was just another satirical piece by The Onion. Dumb Iranians.

“I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.”

European Subsidies Not Enough For Airbus

September 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Airbus, Berlin, Boeing, EADS, Fines, German, Germans, Germany, Government Subsidies, Humor, Illegal Financing, Satire, Subsidies Leave a comment

Now they need American ones, too.

Brussels on Thursday sought WTO approval for trade sanctions against Washington worth $12 billion a year.

“On the one side we have $90 billion (70 billion euros) of illegal financing of Airbus by the EU and on the other side we have $3.0-$4.0 billion for Boeing.”

The Amazing Disappearing Political Party

September 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Chaos, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Political Parties, Satire, The Pirate Party, The Pirates Leave a comment

Who says that in-fighting and a complete absence of credibility, character, policy, tactics or strategy can’t get you anywhere? It got Germany’s Pirate Party to nowhere fast. So you better take one quick look at them while you still can.

They’re down to five percent in the polls at the moment, and sinking fast. But let’s move on now and just try to remember them for all the good things they accomplished while they were still here among the living (hell if I know, I thought you might have).

Die Piraten liegen einer neuen Umfrage zufolge nur noch bei fünf Prozent und müssen damit um den Einzug in den Bundestag bangen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Satire