Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

October 29, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Discrimination, Employment, Foreigners, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Jobs, Salafists, Security, Terrorism Leave a comment

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!

Security Sources?

July 3, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Airports, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Security, Terror Leave a comment

International airports have been asked to expand their screening of passengers before flying to the United States after security sources have warned of possible new terror attacks.

Who might these security sources be? Certainly not the NSA, right?

Nach Angaben deutscher Sicherheitskreise stützten sich die US-Warnungen auf Informationen über eine verstärkte Kommunikation unter europäischen Rückkehrern aus Syrien, Afghanistan und Pakistan.

Thank Goodness Email Made In Germany Is Safe

April 3, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Crime, Edward Snowden, Email, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Internet Crime, NSA, Paranoia, Security Leave a comment

Safe from those awful NSA criminals over there in US-Amerika, I mean. Remember the recent “Boom Triggered By NSA: German Email Services Report Surge in Demand” hype?

Well now it turns out that evil data criminals have somehow managed to steal some 18 million email accounts, with passwords, across the board, from all the major German Internet providers. And these guys weren’t even working for the NSA, people!

You just can’t trust any kind of Internet criminal these days, I guess.

Die Staatsanwaltschaft Verden ist auf einen Datensatz von 18 Millionen E-Mail-Adressen samt Passwörtern gestoßen. Betroffen sind alle großen deutschen Provider.

NSA Hysteria Good For Business

February 6, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Edward Snowden, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, IT Industry, NSA, Paranoia, Profit, Satire, Security Leave a comment

IT business here in Germany, I mean.

Funny how that is. Makes a body wonder sometimes if helping to keep folks all hot and bothered like this about our latest “devastating crisis of confidence” is maybe sort of, I dunno, intentional or something? You know, as in profitable intentional?

I know, I know. German media and industry have higher standards than that and would never try to take advantage of a situation like this but look, if everybody else out there is going to keep going hysterical and paranoid about this novel issue of ours then I can start speculating, too. Hmmm. Now Snowden isn’t a German name, is it? Eduard certainly is, though.

“Our best marketing employee is Edward Snowden.”

If It Works, Fix It

November 17, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bureaucracy, Crime Fighting, Drones, Fluglärm, German, Germans, Germany, Graffiti, Humor, Satire, Security, Surveillance, Terror, Terrorists, Vandalism 1 Comment

This is another one of those “only in Germany” numbers. Or maybe it isn’t (I’m slowly losing track of what’s going on out there in “the real world”).

The Deutsche Bahn’s program to use small drones to patrol railyards by night in a bid to fight graffiti spraying graffiti terrorists has suffered a setback. Although the test flights worked out just wunderbar, the German Luftsicherheitsbehörden (air security authority) has stopped the program for now as no night flight permits have been permitted – for drones designed to patrol railyards by night. Ordnung muss sein already.

This is actually a bit of a relief for me, to tell you the truth. Before reading the article I was convinced that the flights had been cancelled due to Fluglärm issues. Fluglärm (aircraft noise) is a big honking major awesome all-important obsession for all Germans at all times in all regions and all locations all over the country (and tomorrow the world) and I was sure that I was about to read how these mini-drones were simply too loud for the Anwohner (local residents), whoever or wherever they were.

Whew! That wasn’t the case, like I said. At least not this time. But let’s just wait and see what happens when/if these things are ever actually allowed to fly.

“Die Tests sind exzellent gelaufen, ein hervorragendes Einsatzmittel. Jedoch erteilen die Luftsicherheitsbehörden der Länder derzeit keine Fluggenehmigung für die Nachtstunden.”

Germans See Germans Do

June 16, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, BND, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, PRISM, Security, Spying, Surveillance, Terrorism 1 Comment

Shocking, these Americans and their surveillance state. It’s good to know that that kind of thing can’t happen here.

Despite the scandal concerning the US spy program Prism, the Bundesnachrichtendienst (Federal Intelligence Service) is planning to monitor the Internet more thoroughly. 100 million euros are to be invested with more technical equipment and up to 100 more personnel planned.

Meanwhile… Federal Minister of the Interior Hans-Peter Friedrich (CSU) is arguing for a flight passenger security check system similar to the American model for those who enter Europe. German security services should be able to check to see “if someone is on the wanted or prosecuting authority lists” before the start of the journey.

“So geht man nicht mit Freunden um, die im Kampf gegen den Terrorismus unsere wichtigsten Partner sind”, sagte der Minister der “Welt am Sonntag”. Friedrich betonte, Deutschland sei von Datenzulieferungen aus den USA abhängig. Es sei bekannt, “dass es die US-Geheimdienste sind, die uns immer wieder wichtige und richtige Hinweise gegeben haben“.

Obama’s Popularity Rating Plummets To 82 Percent In Germany

June 11, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Hi-tech, Hideology, Higher Education, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, Eavesdropping, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, IRS, NSA, Obama, Popularity, PRISM, Satire, Security, Stasi, Tea Party, Terror 2 Comments

Germans are still enamored of Obama: a poll last week showed 82 percent view him favorably.

It used to be 92 percent so this must have something to do with the time he recently spent in Prism.

Just kidding. The real reason is because there are “gute Amis, böse Amis” (good Yankees and bad Yankees) and the Pres clearly belongs to the good ones, NO MATTER WHAT. I mean, this guy could rape a turtle live on “Wetten, dass..?” and nobody would find anything wrong with it (except the turtle). He’ll be back up to 92 percent here again in no time, in other words.

The bad Yankees are the awful scumbag Republican NSA types who actually did the snooping, by the way.

Damn. Speaking of snooping… He and his crew sure are cool, you’ve got to hand it to them. Even when he’s having them monitor you for your own good (and that whether you’re a tea partier or not). I think I’m going to call them the Cyber Snoop Dogg Pack from here on out. Rat Pack had already been taken.

Germans accuse U.S. of Stasi tactics before Obama visit

Big Obama Brother Says Chill Already

June 7, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Media, National Security, NSA, Obama, PRISM, Security, Surveillance, Terrorism 4 Comments

What’s all the excitement about with these NSA surveillance programs, Germany?

Your, I mean our president himself has ensured everyone everywhere that he has not become a Big Brother with eyes and ears throughout the world of online communications.

“You can’t have 100 percent security and then also have 100 percent privacy and zero inconvenience,” the Pres says. And that applies to you too, Germany. This is only for your own good, or something.

So take a chill pill already. If Obama is behind all of this then everything is fine, right? After all, you voted for him.

Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass die USA weltweit Kommunikation überwachen. Die Programme haben immer neue Namen, ob sie nun Echelon, Total Awareness oder TrailBlazer heißen. Aber ihr Ziel ist immer das gleiche: So viel wie möglich davon mitzubekommen, was Menschen miteinander reden. Nun ist es also Prism.

Empty Box Empty Box

April 21, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Boston Marathon, Crime Fighting, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg Marathon, Paranoia, Security, Terror, Terrorism 1 Comment

Hamburg police have determined that an empty box found in a subway station just before the Hamburg Marthon was scheduled to begin turned out in fact to be an empty box.

However, if the box had not been empty, no one would have had any video footage of the person who had placed it there because, as you can see, surveillance cameras are still black (as in evil) in Germany.

In light of the Boston Marathon bombings, a new German “debate” about increasing the number of surveillance cameras has begun once again but will lead to nowhere fast as usual.

Kurze Aufregung im Umfeld des Hamburg-Marathon: Die Polizei hat am Sonntag einen verdächtigen Gegenstand in einem U-Bahnhof in der Innenstadt untersucht.

German Security Officials Now Ready To Consider Introducing More McDonald’s Restaurants

December 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, Bombings, Bonn, CCTV, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, McDonald's, Paranoia, Satire, Security, Surveillance, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

After the German city of Bonn narrowly escaped a deadly bombing last week – and unable to locate the suspected radical Islamist perpetrators due to a lack of recorded surveillance images – German authorities are now ready to consider intensifying the use of CCTV surveillance in Germany by dramatically increasing the number of McDonald’s restaurants allowed to open for business here.

“Violent criminals could be deterred and crimes and planned attacks more quickly cleared up with increased McDonald’s video technology in public spaces,” one Interior Ministry spokesman said. “I mean, like we’ve got to do something now, don’t we?”

The only surveillance images that could help the police in the hunt for the Bonn perpetrators come from the McDonald’s fast food chain. Unlike Deutsche Bahn, the McDonald’s restaurant on Platform 1 did record activity with its surveillance cameras.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Security