German of the day: Ruhig Blut. That means keep your blood calm. You know, as in steady, there, keep your shirt on?
Überraschend und entgegen der meisten Umfragen heißt der kommende Präsident der USA Donald Trump.
Author Archives: Hermann Observer
Germany Has Spoken
Trump is the devil incarnate and will usher in the end of the world as they know if elected (most Germans don’t believe in God or the devil but are willing to make an exception this time). Clinton, on the other hand, is more up their alley because she has the more politically correct kind of sex organ and is married to a former president of the United States thus making her much more qualified (female sex organs matter). She is also a Democrat and that rhymes with Social Democrat. And just like back home, nobody over here knows who Gary Johnson is, either.
So there we have it. But let’s move on tomorrow, people. One step after the other. No matter what.
Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall
Like, duh. That’s because it’s already been built.
A 12-foot high barrier – higher than the Berlin Wall – is being erected in the German city of Munich to protect locals from young refugees who are set to move into the area.
Sie hatten wirklich keine Vorahnung?
German Engineering At Its Finest
Fortschritt durch Technik. That’s Audi’s motto and means progress through technology.
And their latest advance in defeat device technology is a great step forward in consumer deception indeed.
Audi’s defeat device, camouflaged as a warm-up function, keys in on movements of the steering wheel to detect if the car is in the lab or not. Once in normal traffic, however, this warm-up function is deactivated and the vehicle switches to a higher fuel consumption mode, thus producing more CO2. Brilliant, don’t you think?
Come on, America. Why can’t you produce technology like this? These new fangled electric cars everybody is talking about these days don’t have any of this cool stuff.
So schummelte Audi bei CO² – Mit einer Software sollen Messergebnisse manipuliert worden sein.
Céline
Kraut EU Commissioner Sorry He Called Chinese Slitty-Eyed
He actually meant to call them Chop Sticks. Or maybe Chinks. Or at the very least Ping Pongs.
What a Herm. This Boxhead Hun needs to get with the times already and call up the Racial Slur Database on that Heinee Handy (smartphone) of his. He is responsible for EU digital policy, after all.
“Frei von der Leber, as we say in German.”
I Can See For Miles
Or at least for a kilometer or two.
Germany likes to see itself as a pioneer when dealing with environmental issues, but when it comes to implementing European standards, Berlin is hardly a poster child.
The European Union has opened 16 infringement procedures in total against Germany, for failing to implement environmental legislation on time or even at all.
And then there is: Shock…Germany To Come To Marrakesh Conference Empty-Handed! Withdraws Climate Protection Plan! Thanks for the tweet, Joe.
Young Germans Shamelessly Copying Americans Again
Or at least that’s what the latest “Generation What?” survey taken by a German media group indicates to me: More than 70 percent of the young people here have no confidence in politics.
When asked about political institutions, only 27 percent replied that they “more or less” had confidence in them. Only one percent asked said they trusted these institutions completely.
They were nearly as skeptical when it came to confidence in religious institutions and in the media itself.
Mehr als 70 Prozent der jungen Menschen ohne Vertrauen in die Politik.
Germans Now Allowed To Watch So-Called “Music Videos”
Damn. The down side here is that this is finally going to let South Sudan pass Germany by. When it comes to blocking online music videos, I mean.
The internet video platform YouTube and the German rights collection society GEMA have reached a deal under which artists who are GEMA members will receive payment when one of their videos is viewed, both sides announced on Tuesday. The agreement also brings an end to the red “blocking banners” notifying users in Germany that access to their favorite music was banned for copyright reasons.
“Ab heute geht’s los. Also habt bitte einen Moment Geduld, wenn noch nicht alle Videos sofort verfügbar sind.”
What This Town Needs Is…
A Happy Halloween or something.
Gibt es heute Polizeischutz für die Halloween-Kids?
