Category Archives: Habitudes

Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up, Martin

March 10, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

According to Andy Warhol, as you all know: “In the future, everyone will be a popular German chancellor candidate for 15 minutes.” So you can move on now, Martin Schulz (SPD). You’ve done your time.

Schulz

In the latest poll taken by ZDF-Politbarometer, 44 percent of those asked said they would support Martin Schulz for chancellor in the coming election. The same number would also support Angela Merkel, however. Last month the numbers were 49 percent for Schulz and 38 percent for Merkel.

Im ZDF-Politbarometer sprechen sich bei der Frage, wen man nach der Bundestagswahl lieber als Kanzler oder Kanzlerin hätte, jetzt 44 Prozent für Merkel und ebenfalls 44 Prozent Schulz aus. Vergangenen Monat hatte der SPD-Mann mit 49 Prozent noch einen deutlichen Vorsprung vor der Amtsinhaberin, die nur auf 38 Prozent kam.

Turks Kick Off New Tourism Campaign To Lure Germans To Turkey By Calling Them Nazis

March 8, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

Its tourism sector taking a real battering this year for some inexplicable reason, Turkish authorities are now attempting to lure German tourists to Turkey by calling them Nazis.

Turkey

“Please come visit our beautiful country, you Nazi swine,” a representative of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said yesterday in Berlin. “You are the infidel scum of the earth worthy to be put to a horrible death by slow roasting and will enjoy to the fullest our fascinating culture, stunning beaches and helpful, friendly personnel, all at an unbeatable low price.”

At the ITB fair in Berlin, 132 Turkish companies under the auspices of the Turkish Culture and Tourism Ministry will have the chance to promote the campaign.

Two From Togo To Go?

March 6, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Two violent and drunken asylum seekers from Togo (Syrian migrants, I assume) who smashed up their asylum center because of the lousy mobile phone reception there?

Togo

To go back home to Togo, I mean? Right. Wahrscheinlich (probably).

A German police officer has been severely injured in a weekend riot by drunken refugees armed with iron bars who smashed their accommodation centre to smithereens. Two men from Togo and six from Ghana went berserk at their asylum home in Rees-Haldern, near the Dutch border a DAY after moving in because they were ‘unhappy’ with their quarters.

„Die Infrastruktur gefiel ihnen nicht und es gibt dort wohl Netzprobleme was den Handyempfang angeht.“

Can I Have My False Pleasantries Back?

March 5, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

German facial expression of the day: Staring.

Stare

Oddity 34. You know you are in Germany when you regularly find yourself being stared at for no clearly discernible reason. I don’t know if Germans necessarily like to stare but they sure do it a lot.  A nice term a friend of mine prefers using is “unfiltered curiosity” but it’s staring all the same.

But it’s a wonderful trait: Firstly, you know the person is listening intently (they really are); secondly, since it’s very difficult to look someone in the eyes and speak coherently and come up with pleasant little white lies, the false pleasantries vanish and the conversation becomes honest and true – leading toward a final deep dive into the other’s soul.

Abdalfatah H. A. Will Not Tell Germans What The H. A. Stands For

March 2, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

And with good reason. His true identity might be used against him. He is a Syrian refugee who just got arrested on suspicion of having committed war crimes.

Police

As we all know, Germany will allow anybody from anywhere in the world to enter the country as a Syrian refugee (no passport or other identification needed) but being a war criminal who is believed to have killed 36 people might slow down his asylum seeking process considerably. And that would be inhumane.

German police are currently investigating some 30 cases linked to war crimes committed in Syria and Iraq.

Living Up To Contractual Obligations Causing Angst

March 1, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Concerned about possibly turning Germany into a military superpower again by raising its defense spending from 1.3 to 2 percent of its gross domestic product (as agreed to by Germany many years ago in NATO), Germany’s foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) says that this could cause angst elsewhere in Europe, and most certainly at the German ministry of finance, and therefore maybe ought to be put off for an other 10 to 15 years or so. Or maybe longer. It all depends.

Gabriel

Angst is a terrible thing, people. And so is Verarschung (being bullshited). But angst is worse, I guess.

“Für Deutschland unrealistisch.”

This War On Journalism Must Stop

February 26, 2017 By in Habitudes, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Here in Germany, I mean. It is outrageous, unacceptable behavior and is damaging press freedom in Germany and abroad.

Monitor

Like I said, outrageous. So where’s the outrage, folks?

Germany’s foreign intelligence agency, the BND, apparently spied on large numbers of foreign journalists overseas over the course of several years, including employees of the BBC, Reuters and the New York Times. Critics see a massive violation of press freedoms.

German Of The Day: Gegendert

February 23, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means gendered. You know, as in language-wise?

Gender

In Berlin, for instance, male words used on public forms and applications can be very disturbing. At least that’s what SPD politicians here think. So that is why they are seeing to it that more female vocabulary will be introduced in the future. I don’t know quite what that means (the ones with die instead of der or das?) but I’m sure they must know what they are doing, right?

“Only using male words gives the impression that the form only applies to the male population and this is not the case.”

Damn. Why didn’t anybody ever think of this before? No wonder I could never figure out how to fill out my maternity leave application.

„Nur männliche Wörter zu verwenden, erweckt den Anschein, als betreffe der Antrag nur die männliche Bevölkerung. Das stimmt aber nicht.“

PS: What will they think of next? Sending men and women to different bathrooms?

German Of The Day: Populismus

February 22, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helections, Hideology, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means a left-wing political doctrine that proposes to help the common people who are being exploited by a corrupt dominant elite. Or at least the one I am referring to here is of the left-wing variety.

Populismus

Ironically, this particular form of Populismus is being proposed by a leading member of that corrupt dominant elite himself. But this is the left-wing variety, as I said, and this type of thing has a long tradition so it is therefore “OK.”

The Social Democrats have presented a serious, new challenger for upcoming federal elections. But they are using the same old lines about social justice when there are more important things to talk about, writes a former economics minister (himself once in the SPD).