Everything Is Going As Planned, Tesla

Maybe not as you planned, but still.

This is only the first official delay. The best is yet to come (think Berlin’s BER Airport). You picked the wrong country, Elon.

Tesla’s Berlin gigafactory to be delayed another 6 months: report – The German trade magazine Automobilwoche reported Sunday that production will not begin before the end of January 2022, and that Tesla Chief Executive Elon Musk officially gave approval for the six-month delay.

Don’t Forget To Wear Your Mask While Setting Everything On Fire

Otherwise you’re going to be in big trouble.

Police, protesters clash during May Day rallies in Berlin – At least 5,000 protesters took to the streets on Saturday during May Day rallies in Berlin, clashing with police and injuring three officers, police said.

The injuries occurred after some demonstrators threw fireworks, bottles and rocks in protests over social inequality. About 5,600 police were deployed, and some responded with pepper spray in what marked the second May Day protests since the start of the coronavirus pandemic.

Demonstration in Berlin abgebrochen – Massive Angriffe gegen Polizei.

We’re Doing This For Your Own Good

At least you won’t have to worry about getting COVID-19 once you’re living on the street.

Germany’s Small Business Owners Fight To Survive Amid Fears Of A Wave Of Insolvency – Tens of thousands of German companies in the service, retail and travel industries have teetered on the edge of bankruptcy since the pandemic began.

“Before the second lockdown, I took out credit as a buffer. I’ve managed because of that, but the aid I’m getting is going straight into paying off that debt.”

Suffering From Incorrect Opinion?

Then we’ll be keeping a very close eye on you.

Similar to the way dissidents in the Banana Republic are labeled racists, fascists, white supremicists, etc. whenever they disagree with what they are force fed on mainstream media, Germans who think differently about their government’s repeatedly failed coronavirus restriction policies (officially sanctioned by German State Media, of course) are labled Nazis. The only difference is that they are then also placed under observation by the country’s Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution. This is their FBI, sort of, although Thought Police seems more appropriate to me.

Germany puts anti-lockdown Querdenker group under observation – German intelligence chiefs have placed parts of the anti-coronavirus lockdown protest movement under observation.

PS: I assume that a certain group of German actors are now being closely monitored as well.

You’re Just Not Trying Hard Enough!

Lock yourself down harder already!

I dunno, lock yourself in your bathroom while you’re locked down at home or something. Just make it happen, people.

Chancellor Angela Merkel on Saturday called on Germans to stick to tighter coronavirus restrictions imposed in areas with high infection rates over the weekend, saying the step was needed to break a third wave of infections.

“I am convinced that if we can now manage to reduce infections significantly and quickly, we will be able to relax them step by step in the foreseeable future,” Merkel said.

By 2023 at the latest.

German Greens Decide It’s Time To Finally Have A Woman As Chancellor

They’re progressive or something.

And she won’t remove that mask until she gets elected. It heightens the suspense, I’m told.

For the first time in their party’s four-decade history, the German Greens have announced a candidate to run as chancellor.

Equally historic is the central role the Greens will play in September’s general election.

On Monday, the Green Party announced that 40-year-old Annalena Baerbock would be its choice to take over from Angela Merkel after September’s election.

German Of The Day: Den Himmel Auf Erden Haben

That means “having Heaven on Earth” and that’s an idiom that could only come from Germany.

They’ve tried at least two forms of German socialism creating Heaven on Earth already that I know of. They failed miserably at both, of course. But at least they tried, people.

‘Heaven on earth’ and other German expressions – The pandemic has been dominating headlines over the year, but our planet is also begging for attention. To honor Earth Day, here are a few “down-to-earth” idioms from the German language.

Merkel’s Mini-Me Man Maintains Mandate

Although “man” might be a little übertrieben (exaggerated) here.

They toss the manly-man types out on their ears here in Germany. Or Merkel does, I should say. You know, the popular ones? The ones the voters down below actually want? The swamp folk above do whatever she tells them to do. And that’s just what happened here.

Germany’s conservatives threw their weight on Tuesday behind Armin Laschet, a cautious centrist, as their candidate to succeed Angela Merkel as chancellor in a September national election instead of his more popular Bavarian rival.

Markus Soeder, leader of Bavaria’s Christian Social Union (CSU), conceded defeat in his week-long battle with Laschet, chairman of the larger Christian Democrats (CDU), to lead their alliance, dubbed ‘the Union’, into the Sept. 26 election.

“The die is cast – Armin Laschet will be the Union’s candidate for chancellor.”

Wirecard?

Sounds vaguely familiar. Very vaguely. No, come to think of it, never heard of Wirecard.

It was an innocuous question, posed shortly before midnight some nine hours into an exhausting parliamentary hearing into the Wirecard scandal. “Did you ever actually own Wirecard shares?”

MPs will want to know why Merkel lobbied for Wirecard in China when reports about suspected fraud at the company had been in the public domain for months. Scholz will be asked to explain how BaFin, the financial regulator he oversees, not only failed to uncover the Wirecard fraud but went after short-sellers and Financial Times journalists who first highlighted irregularities at the company.

“Mostly COVID-Deniers” Mostly Banned

From expressing their opinions.

If you don’t express the correct opinion in Germany you will be cancelled. No, I don’t mean that old school Germany back in day with the funny mustache. Angela Merkel’s Germany.

German courts ban ‘Querdenker‘ anti-lockdown demos – As thousands of mostly COVID-deniers prepared to rally this weekend, regional courts have ordered the protests in Dresden and Kempten to be canceled.

“In addition to criminal prosecution, demonstrations must be broken up by the police.”