Category Archives: Helections

German Military To Acquire Armed Drones They Will Never Use

February 1, 2013 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Germany’s military is planning to acquire armed drones which they will never use in a zillion years its Defense Minister said on Friday, reigniting a heated debate in Germany over the ethics of not using such aircraft.

Drones

The drones would protect German soldiers in dangerous situations, if we would ever use them that is, which of course we wouldn’t, as German soldiers are never put in dangerous situations in the first place, Thomas de Maiziere told the German government’s YouTube channel in an interview.

Critics of such German drone non-strikes argue that they would end up failing to kill high numbers of innocent civilians and that they would frequently not be launched across sovereign states’ borders – far more frequently than conventional attacks by piloted German aircraft that are never ever launched from anywhere to anyplace, either.

Prior to the official announcement, German opposition lawmakers had already condemned the pointless purchase of the useless, lame-ass, purposeless armed drones, with the head of the Greens parliamentary group Juergen Trittin saying that they could lower the threshold for German military non-engagement even lower than it already is.

“We have a gap in our capabilities which we want to close.”

The Worst Is Over

January 24, 2013 By in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Or something.

Growth

For much of the financial crisis that started in 2007, Germany remained strong and held the envy of modern economies around the world.

In 2010, the industrious country known for its fiscal discipline had GDP growth of 4.2%, followed by respectable 3% GDP growth in 2011.

Unfortunately, for Germans and the world, there are increasing signs the German economy is being marred by the global crisis. In 2012, GDP growth was a meager 0.7%. More significantly, GDP actually contracted by 0.5% in the fourth quarter.

Währung – Deutschland: Devisen: Euro gibt nach – IWF prognostiziert auch für 2013 Rezession im Euroraum

A Boy Named Sue

January 21, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.

Olivia and Klaus

Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.

„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“

How About Berlin Brandenburg Willy-Nilly Instead?

January 15, 2013 By in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Or maybe Berlin Brandenburg Infamy International?

Willy

For now, Berlin’s new airport is officially called Willy Brandt Airport after the former Germ chancellor and Nobel Peace Prize winner widely acknowledged to have been one of post-war Germany’s greatest leaders.

But the image of the airport has been tarnished so heavily by the construction fiasco surrounding it that the Willy Brandt Foundation appears to regret the choice of name.

“Willy Brandt would probably turn in his grave if he knew that he’s supposed to give his name to this catastrophic airport.”

Going, Going…

January 7, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Not quite gone. But just give this a little more time to ripen. One thing’s for sure: Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will definitely be gone as mayor before Berlin’s international airport ever opens – now pushed back to 2014.

Klaus

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit stepped down on Monday as head of a board overseeing the building of the city’s new international airport after yet another delay in the project dealt a fresh blow to Germany’s reputation for efficiency.

But Wowereit told a news conference he would not resign as mayor, despite calls for him to step down, due to the debacle over Willy Brandt International Airport, which was originally planned to open in 2008.

How’s that saying go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. That is, it’s better to make a painful break than draw out the agony. And funny, I wouldn’t find a break like that painful at all.

“It’s over, Klaus.”

You May Not Know This, Amerika…

January 2, 2013 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

But you are paralyzed. And it’s all the Republicans’ fault, too.

Paralyzed

I mean it’s not like it could ever be President Obama HIMSELF who refuses to budge when it comes to matters of the “fiscal cliff” kind. Could it?

What we’ve got here people, the Spiegel tells us, is not just a failure to communicate (and guess who’s Strother Martin here):

We are, in short, witnessing a superpower losing its way in a maze of details, propelled forward by grandstanding politicians (who aren’t the President) hewing slavishly to ideology.

Peinlich, Peinlicher, Am Peinlichsten

December 19, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Peinlich. You know, as in embarrassing or cringe-making? Berlin’s Tip Magazin has just announced this year’s winners for the city’s “Flop 100” Most Embarrassing Berliners and did a really thorough analysis, I find. The only difficult part was narrowing the short list down to 100 losers, it seems.

Wowereit in Aktion.

And no, it wasn’t really much of a contest when it came to selecting number one. The Überflieger (high-flyer – as in airport, get it?) himself, Mayor Klaus Wowereit, was never really in any serious danger of not coming out on bottom, although Pirate clown Johannes Ponader gave him a pretty good run for the money. And no, they won’t be receiving any, or any more than they have already.

Einen Ehrenplatz auf der Nummer 100 bekam Altplayboy Rolf Eden – der wäre vermutlich enttäuscht, wenn sein Name nicht in der Liste auftauchen würde.

Europe Speaking With One Voice Again

November 29, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Not.  Ho hum. Been there, done that.

Ahead of the United Nations vote that is set to recognize a Palestinian state, Germany has announced it will abstain.

Having strong European support strengthens the Palestinian bid for recognition in the face of US resistance, and they have likely found it in Austria, Denmark, Norway, Finland, France, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Malta, Portugal, Spain and Switzerland. Meanwhile the Czech Republic and the Netherlands appear to be leaning toward a “no” vote, while Britain could abstain along with Germany.

So in case you were wondering, European unity never was, is or will be a possibility.

“The German government has, through its own tactical maneuvering, failed to come to an understanding with its partners. This will further diminish the weight of Europe in the Middle East.”