The Scum Also Rises

April 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nazis, Political Parties, Satire, The Nazi Party, The Pirate Party, The Pirates Leave a comment

I’m really starting to like these Pirate guys, honest.

I mean, everybody knows that it’s all a big elaborate practical joke anyway, so why not just calm down, folks, and kick back and enjoy their fifteen minute ride of fame in vollen Zügen (to the fullest)?

One of the latest Pirate humdinger zingers (there have been so many these days that I’ve lost count) is the Berlin state parliament floor leader’s comparison of his party to another German party that turned out to be a bit less of a joke: “The rise of the Pirate Party is as fast as that of the NSDAP between 1928 and 1933.” Just in case you didn’t know, the NSDAP was the Nazi party.

No politician in Germany, not even the geekiest of geeks, can say something like that by accident. So again: It was a joke. It had to have been. It really was a joke. A Pirate joke. Wasn’t it?

The remark was an outrageous transgression that can’t be excused by the party’s lack of experience.

Die Lötzsche geht von Bord

April 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bismarck, Communism, Die Linke, German, Germans, Germany, Gesine Lötsch, Humor, Leadership, Politics, Power, Satire, Socialism, The Left Party 1 Comment

Germany‘s Left Party was shocked or something yesterday by the surprise resignation of one of its top two fearless leaders, Gesine Loetszch.

I thought she’d never leave – but I’m going to miss her anyway. Really. She clearly said and did everything wrong you could possibly say and do (it must be hard being a communist who has to pretend not to be), but she still couldn’t get her leaky little Linke ship to sink. Sure, it’s run aground and all that and won’t be sailing anywhere ever again (not that it was ever going anywhere in the first place), but the damned thing just won’t go under.

I guess it’s time to bring in the demolition crew and scuttle this puppy for good.

Der Napoleon von der Saar, die schöne Kommunistin aus Berlin.

SPD Doesn’t Need Günter’s Help Anymore

April 10, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Politics, Satire, SPD 3 Comments

“We can continue to screw up our image just fine all on our own, thank you,” A party spokesman said.

With comrades like these who needs enemies?

“Seine Zeit ist einfach vorbei.”

Ya Gotta Have Dreamers

April 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Capitalism, Economic Liberalism, Elections, FDP, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Laissez-faire, Liberalism, Libertarians, Political Parties, Satire, Socialism, The Free Market 2 Comments

The FDP (Free Democratic Party) may now be fighting for its very survival again in Germany, but this is certainly nothing new. They have always had it tough here, and with good reason: They are the only classical liberal (as in free market) party to be found here for miles around.

The astounding thing about the FDP is that they can even get any votes at all in Germany. Terms like “free market” and “privatization” make most Germans cringe. And if they absolutely positively have to use bad words like that, they prefer more watered-down terminology like “Soziale Marktwirtschaft” instead, an imaginary German construction promising “a middle path between socialism and laissez-faire economic liberalism.” Socialism, in other words.

Anyway, with a big state election coming up in North Rhine-Westphalia next month (end of the month?), the FDP is now pulling out its big guns, as little as they are. Or at least one or two FDP politicians are. One guy called Frank Schäffler, for instance, has seriously suggested a radical program change to include “the elimination of all state aid and the partial privatization of the state-run public broadcasting services ARD and ZDF” in Germany. The key words here are “in Germany,” folks.

Is this guy a visionary or just plain deranged?

Dream on, FDP. But please, keep on dreaming.

„Mehr Mut zu Recht und Freiheit“

It’s OK That Obama Got Caught Saying That

March 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bloopers, Blunders, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Journalism, Media, Medwedew, Microphones, Obama, Politicians, Putin, Satire, South Korea Leave a comment

Der Spiegel rushes to tell us.

Because other politicians have been caught on mic saying bad things, too.

Only they were bad. So there.

“Nach meiner Wahl habe ich mehr Flexibilität.”

Germany’s Energy Turnaround Rocks

March 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Economics, Energy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, Supply and Demand, The Green Shirts, The Greens, Wind Energy 2 Comments

They never promised you a rose garden (actually, they did). It looks like Germany’s Energiewende (the energy turnaround = shutting down nuclear power and waiting for solar and wind energy to pick up slack) is going to have its price, too.

And it looks likes the first installment will by about a seven percent increase in energy costs for private housholds. But Germans pay these increases gladly, I think. At least for now (seven percent is just the start, of course). It’s back to the future. It’s for the common good. Or it’s for saving the planet or something.

Uh, like why don’t they just have “the state” pay for it. Oh, that’s right. They already are (the taxpayers are, that is).

Stromtrassen, Umschlagwerke oder intelligente Stromzähler kosten den Staat Milliarden. Draufzahlen muss am Ende oft der Verbraucher – offenbar bis zu sieben Prozent in den kommenden Jahren.

Our Holy Hymnal Election Video, Amen

March 16, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Hi-tech, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Money, German, Germans, Germany, Hollywood, Humor, Media, Obama, Power, Presidential Election, Propaganda, Satire, The President 1 Comment

Wow. If anyone appreciates good propaganda, it’s these guys. The Der Spiegel clearly, if not accidently, got this one right: Obama, Amerikas Supermann.

“Oscar winner Davis Guggenheim directed it, Oscar winner Tom Hanks narrated it: Barack Obama’s election strategists have released a 17 minute promotional film. It stylizes the US President as a lonely hero who has single-handedly led his country out of crisis.”

Coming soon to a living room near you.

“Dieses Video ist für die Fans, und ihr wisst, wer sich angesprochen fühlen sollte.”

But At Least He Didn’t Say Nazi

March 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Apartheid, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Israel, Jews, Racism, SPD 2 Comments

Sigmar Gabriel, the head of the German Social Democratic Party and possible candidate for Chancellor of Germany, finally decided to break with that long and rather tiring SPD tradition of calling dissenters Nazis and tried out something new and refreshingly different instead; labelling the state of Israel an “Apartheid-Regime” on his Facebook page.

And to give the whole thing a little more umpf, he decided to publish this while visiting Israel and the Palestinian territories. Now he gets to pretend to defend his comparison of Israel to a racist state live and in color, right there before those terrible racists themselves (the Israelis, not the Palestinians). I tell ya, you got to have instinct in this business. Go SPD!

“I was just in Hebron. That is a lawless territory there for Palestinians. This is an apartheid regime, for which there is no justification.”

Lots of Luck, Pal

March 13, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Helections, Helplessness, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Angst, Berlin, Gauck, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, Psychology, Satire, The German President Leave a comment

He sure is an ambitious character, I’ll give him that much: Future German president Joachim Gauck “wants to rid Germany of angst.”

I’ll be the first to agree that what this nation needs is a good psychiatrist, but to actually rid Germany of angst?

That would be like ridding zebras of their stripes.

That would be like ridding muskrats of their musk.

That would be like ridding Americans of their apple pie.

No, no. I’ve just changed my mind. This not only can’t be done, I don’t believe it should even be tried. It would be immoral or something. And potentially dangerous. No, it would be absolutely positively dangerous. Let’s just let this sleeping, angst-ridden dog lie, el presidente.

Germany’s next president, wants to reinvigorate the nation with his passion for freedom and democracy. His emotional, at times unguarded rhetoric will liven up German politics — but could backfire if he isn’t careful.

German Austerity Still Quite A Rarity

March 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Debt Crisis, EU, Europe, European Fiscal Pact, Fiscal Discipline, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, International Fiscal Pact, Satire, The EU, The Euro Leave a comment

Despite all the talk to the contrarity.

The German government didn’t reach even half of its planned savings in the federal budget in 2011. Only 42 percent of the spending cuts named by Merkel’s coalition government, comprised of the conservative Christian Democrats and the business-friendly Free Democratic Party, were actually not implemented…

The government is also falling behind on its targets for this year. Of the originally planned €19.1 billion in savings, less than half has been implemented…

This lapse (in reaching savings targets) is particularly embarrassing for the German government because the news comes just after 25 European Union member states agreed in early March to an international fiscal pact obliging them to adhere to greater fiscal discipline…

The aim of the pact is to make EU countries maintain binding austerity measures that leaders hope will contain the debt crisis and prevent countries like Greece from being able to pile up massive debts again.

And countries like Germany will show them how to do it, see? Next year, maybe. Or the year after that. Hard to say for sure.

“It (the pact) is a milestone in the history of the European Union.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helections