Category Archives: Hideology

A German National Soccer Team With Only Germans On It?

June 3, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Ouch. What a frightening thought. If you’re the German national soccer team coach, I mean.

Football

Uhm, I’m no Fußball aficionado or anything but is there such a thing as a Zweite Liga (second division) when it comes to national teams?

A German right-wing politician who caused outrage by racially disparaging footballer Jerome Boateng followed up Friday by saying the national team is “no longer … German in the classical sense”.

Alexander Gauland, of the Alternative for Germany (AFD) party, also questioned the loyalty of German-born international Mesut Ozil, who is of Turkish origin, for making the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca.

“Die Nationalmannschaft ist schon lange nicht mehr deutsch.”

Terrorists In Germany?

June 2, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Huh? Since when?

Terror

“A spokesman for the prosecutor declined to comment on whether the two suspects posed as refugees or sought asylum in Germany or elsewhere in Europe.”

Germany arrested three Syrian citizens on suspicion of planning an Islamic State terror attack in the city of Düsseldorf, the country’s top prosecutor said Thursday.

Two men, identified as Saleh A. and Hamza C., joined Islamic State in Syria in early 2014 and received orders from the organization’s leadership to carry out an attack in the bustling old town in Düsseldorf, the prosecutor’s office said in a statement on the arrests. The two plotted to attack one of Düsseldorf’s main streets with two suicide bombings, and then “to kill as many passersby as possible with guns and further explosives,” the prosecutor said. The two left for Turkey and then separately traveled to Germany via Greece in March and July 2015, the prosecutor said. Hundreds of thousands of refugees and migrants also entered Europe via Turkey and Greece last year.

Über Balkanroute eingereist

PS: And call me bekloppt (wacky), but I think I detect a pattern here, too.

German Authorities Not Sure Yet But Think Her Knife Attack May Not Have Been Your Everyday, Run-Of-The-Mill 15-Year-Old Girl Kind Of Knife Attack

May 31, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

And it must be those glasses that are making them so suspicious, right? She tried to kill a police officer in Hanover in February.

ISIS

Reporters from German public broadcasters WDR and NDR as well as the daily newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” were able to gain access to chat logs between Safia S. and a fellow Islamist in Hanover.
 
The chat logs showed that the 15-year-old met with IS members during a trip to Turkey in January. She intended on crossing into Syria, but wrote that there was a “change of plans.”

The IS members asked her to travel back to Germany to “surprise the unbelievers.”

“They told me it has a greater benefit,” Safia S. wrote, adding that it would be “really fun.” She also wrote about a “martyr operation.”

Die 15-Jährige Schülerin Safia S., die im Februar einem Polizisten am Hauptbahnhof in Hannover in den Hals stach, soll im Auftrag von ISIS gehandelt haben!

Old People

May 30, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Police in Germany are appealing for sightings of former members of the infamous far-left Baader-Meinhof terror group, who appear to have come out of retirement to attempt armed robberies to fund their lives on the run.

Old People

Or to fund their lives on the limp, with a stroller, is more like it. They call these strollers Rentnerporsche (pensioners’ Porsches) over here, by the way.

And these terrorists may be old and gray and in the way but they still mean business. Now they’re even robbing, now get this, gulp; Supermarkets!

Überfielen Ex-RAF-Terroristen Supermärkte?

Amateur Climate Scientist Puzzled How Earth’s CO2 Got To Mars

May 27, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Hideology, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

That’s right. I’m going to do a little amateur science today for once already if you don’t mind thank you.

Mars

I mean, I’m puzzled or something. If human CO2 emissions are the cause of climate change here on Planet Earth today (this is at least what folks here in Germany tell me every freakin’ day) and a similar type of climate change took place long ago on Mars as well (there used to be a lot more ice there a few hundred thousand years ago, you see) then how on Earth did we on Earth manage to transport our human CO2 emissions back through time and space to Mars to cause that Martian climate change in the first place and like not even be aware that we were were doing it or even how we were doing it and still aren’t for that matter? I’m just asking.

Is that creepy or eerie or what? Otherworldly, how insidious and tricky these human CO2 emissions can be these days.

Klimawandel gibt es auch auf unserem Nachbarplaneten Mars.

EU Demands 20% Steaming Crap Quota

May 25, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Sorry. I meant streaming crap quota, of course. You know, when it comes to what Netflix and Amazon Prime is allowed to offer its customers here in Europe?

Film

That’s right. The European Commission is planning to introduce a quota ensuring that at least 20 percent of the content offered by Netflix and Amazon Prime are European productions. This “identity-building measure” is necessary, the commissioners say, in order to, well, build identity (the European Commission’s identity?) and of course to continue to protect films and series that nobody wants or intends to watch but to keep on subsidizing anyway (“culture” in ze Europe is regulated by unelected state bureaucrats who know better than you and are here to help you whether you want their help or not  and not by yucky old and vulgar supply and demand – just in case you were wondering).

“Wir halten 20 Prozent für sehr maßvoll.”

Germany Leading From Behind

May 24, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

While going in the wrong direction. With lots of wind in its face.

Energy

At one point this month renewable energy sources briefly supplied close to 90 percent of the power on Germany’s electric grid. But that doesn’t mean the world’s fourth-largest economy is close to being run on zero-carbon electricity. In fact, Germany is giving the rest of the world a lesson in just how much can go wrong when you try to reduce carbon emissions solely by installing lots of wind and solar.

After years of declines, Germany’s carbon emissions rose slightly in 2015, largely because the country produces more electricity than it needs. That’s happening because even if there are times when renewables can supply nearly all of the electricity on the grid, the variability of those sources forces Germany to keep other power plants running. And in Germany, which is phasing out its nuclear plants, those other plants primarily burn dirty coal.

Monsanto Not Nearly As Evil As It Was Just A Few Hours Ago

May 20, 2016 By in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

That’s because a German company is now trying to buy it (although they do appear to be choking on it at the moment). Germans are like Green with a capital G or something, you see.

Soybeans

It (Monsanto) has been characterized variously as sinister, evil and a corporate bully. Surveys rank it among the most hated companies in America. And now Bayer AG wants to buy it…

“Monsanto has been better defined by the critics than they should’ve been. We see often times a company has a terrible reputation that often is not that they’ve done something horrendously bad. They’ve just let others define them.”

Von Monstermais und Frankenfood: Die Welt hat sich verändert. Vor hundert Jahren ernteten Getreidebauern in Deutschland je Hektar kaum ein Viertel der Menge, die die Landwirte heute einfahren.

Renewable Energy Actually Works In Germany

May 12, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

But only if it stays REALLY sunny and REALLY windy ALL the time. Like even at night.

Renewable

For those of us who live here, well… Let’s just say that they’re still working on that part.

Germany hit an incredible new high in renewable energy generation at the weekend – pushing power prices into the negative and allowing consumers to get paid to consume electricity.

At one point, the sunny and windy day weather propelling its solar plants and wind turbines supplied 87 percent of the power being consumed.

Meanwhile… Solarworld verdoppelt Verluste.

Many Germans Feeling Ill Already

May 4, 2016 By in Health, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Germany will legalise medical cannabis in early 2017.

Pot

Now the government just has to figure out how to grow the stuff – The ultimate goal of German health authorities is to grow medical marijuana on German soil at specially approved sites.

It is a high art, after all. And knowing how our half-baked buds in government regularly blow things sky high, the whole thing might just end up going to pot. I bet you it’s going to toke them forever to sucseed, in other words.

Um die Versorgung mit Cannabis in kontrollierter Qualität sicherzustellen, will die Regierung den Anbau der Droge zu medizinischen Zwecken unter staatlicher Kontrolle ermöglichen. Über den Anbau wacht das Bundesinstitut für Arzneimittel und Medizinprodukte.