German Engineering At Its Finest

Fortschritt durch Technik. That’s Audi’s motto and means progress through technology.

Audi

And their latest advance in defeat device technology is a great step forward in consumer deception indeed.

Audi’s defeat device, camouflaged as a warm-up function, keys in on movements of the steering wheel to detect if the car is in the lab or not. Once in normal traffic, however, this warm-up function is deactivated and the vehicle switches to a higher fuel consumption mode, thus producing more CO2. Brilliant, don’t you think?

Come on, America. Why can’t you produce technology like this? These new fangled electric cars everybody is talking about these days don’t have any of this cool stuff.

So schummelte Audi bei CO² – Mit einer Software sollen Messergebnisse manipuliert worden sein.

Kraut EU Commissioner Sorry He Called Chinese Slitty-Eyed

He actually meant to call them Chop Sticks. Or maybe Chinks. Or at the very least Ping Pongs.

Oettnger

What a Herm. This Boxhead Hun needs to get with the times already and call up the Racial Slur Database on that Heinee Handy (smartphone) of his. He is responsible for EU digital policy, after all.

Frei von der Leber, as we say in German.”

I Can See For Miles

Or at least for a kilometer or two.

Smog

Germany likes to see itself as a pioneer when dealing with environmental issues, but when it comes to implementing European standards, Berlin is hardly a poster child.

The European Union has opened 16 infringement procedures in total against Germany, for failing to implement environmental legislation on time or even at all.

And then there is: Shock…Germany To Come To Marrakesh Conference Empty-Handed! Withdraws Climate Protection Plan! Thanks for the tweet, Joe.

Young Germans Shamelessly Copying Americans Again

Or at least that’s what the latest “Generation What?” survey taken by a German media group indicates to me: More than 70 percent of the young people here have no confidence in politics.

Confidence

When asked about political institutions, only 27 percent replied that they “more or less” had confidence in them. Only one percent asked said they trusted these institutions completely.

They were nearly as skeptical when it came to confidence in religious institutions and in the media itself.

Mehr als 70 Prozent der jungen Menschen ohne Vertrauen in die Politik.

Germans Now Allowed To Watch So-Called “Music Videos”

Damn. The down side here is that this is finally going to let South Sudan pass Germany by. When it comes to blocking online music videos, I mean.

GEMA
The internet video platform YouTube and the German rights collection society GEMA have reached a deal under which artists who are GEMA members will receive payment when one of their videos is viewed, both sides announced on Tuesday. The agreement also brings an end to the red “blocking banners” notifying users in Germany that access to their favorite music was banned for copyright reasons.

Ab heute geht’s los. Also habt bitte einen Moment Geduld, wenn noch nicht alle Videos sofort verfügbar sind.”

German Of The Day: Kleiner Waffenschein

That means small firearms license. And the number of these licenses just keeps on climbing here in Germany (an increase from 301,000 to 402,000 during the first six months of this year).

Guns

Gee. I wonder why?

Please note: These are licenses to carry guns that fire gas cartridges or blank rounds only. We don’t want to hurt the guy trying to kill us here or anything.

Der Anstieg setzte nach den Übergriffen der Silvesternacht in Köln ein.

Creepy Clowns Now In German Mosques

No, not these kind of creepy clowns. The creepy bushy-long-beard Muslim kind of creepy clowns.

Clowns

That’s at least what many young Syrian refugees in Germany think of them. The mosques in Germany give them the heebie-jeebies because many of them “are more conservative than those at home.”

Hello? Germany? That’s your cue.

Hani Salam escaped civil war in Syria and survived the journey from Egypt to Europe. But when he saw men with bushy long beards at a mosque near his current home in Cologne last November, he was worried.

The men’s a ppearance reminded him of Jaish al-Islam, the Islamist rebels who took over his hometown near Damascus, said Salam, 36, who wears a mustache but no beard. One of them told Salam that “good Muslims grow beards, not moustaches,” he recalled – a centuries-old idea that he dismisses.

“One time when I was there, a Salafist asked a young Arab man to leave because he was wearing shorts. At the Turkish mosque no one cares what you’re wearing.”

German Of The Day: Liebling

That means Liebling (favorite, darling). You know, like Liebling Kreuzberg? That was one of my Liebling TV shows I used to watch way back when in a place they used to call “West Berlin.”

Liebling

Manfred Krug, Mr. lawyer Liebling himself, passed away today. An interesting character, somehow managing to be successful and remain popular on both sides of what they used to call “the Berlin Wall.” Rest in peace.

Er war unser “Liebling Kreuzberg” und die Personifizierung eines Berliners, dabei stammte er aus Duisburg: Manfred “Manne” Krug.

Turkey

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Turkey

Because somebody has to admire them.

Germany’s ammunition exports skyrocketed in the first half of 2016, a leaked report has revealed. Turkey, currently suppressing its political opposition, has moved up the list of the country’s best customers.

PS: And who says that these creepy clowns popping up all over Germany these days can’t be funny? Boy arrested after stabbing teen in clown mask in Germany