Category Archives: Hurt Feelings

At Least These Guys Don’t Go On Vacation At Taxpayers’ Expense

September 13, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Three suspected ISIS operatives arrested at German refugee shelters…

ISIS
The prosecutor’s office said investigations so far suggested the men, aged between 17 and 26, arrived in the country in mid-November 2015 on the orders of Isis, rather than having been recruited in Germany. They were either served with an order to carry out a specific attack or were waiting for further instructions, it said.

The suspects are believed to have sworn allegiance to Isis at the end of September 2015 at the latest, in the Syrian city of Raqqa. They are alleged to have received brief training in weaponry and explosives before pledging to carry out operations and attacks in Europe on behalf of Isis.

The terrorist organisation allegedly arranged passports for them, and gave them four-figure sum bundles of US dollars as well as mobile phones with pre-installed communication programmes.

Anti-Terror-Razzia in Flüchtlingsheimen – GSG9 nimmt drei Syrer fest

Asylum Seekers Go On Vacation In The Land Of Their Persecution

September 12, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, not in Germany. Germany is the place where they get the dough to do that.

Vacation

Then they go back to the land of their persecution to vacation. That’s why they were granted asylum here in the first place. No, not to go on vacation in the land of their persecution. To escape the land of their persecution. Is that so hard to understand? They were being persecuted, see? That’s why they came to Germany. To get the asylum. Then, after they get the dough from the Arbeitsagentur, they go back to the land of their persecution. Or some of them do. But only for a short vacation. That’s allowed or something. Or maybe it isn’t. Hard to say for sure.

Do you get it now? No.  I’m not going to repeat that again. And hell no. Of course I didn’t make any of this up. I don’t have to. Are you persecuting me or something?

Asylberechtigte kehren zu Urlaubszwecken vorübergehend in jenes Land zurück, aus dem sie offiziell geflüchtet sind. Die Bundesagentur für Arbeit bestätigte: „Es gibt solche Fälle.“ Offizielle Erhebungen lägen dazu aber nicht vor.

Tax Cuts Not Wanted?

September 11, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

In a country that registered a $250 billion surplus last year? That’s what some survey results are indicating here in Germany.

Taxes

Doesn’t make any sense, right? Well maybe it does. Germany is also a country where “about half of Germans, including students, pensioners and unemployed are living on state aid.”

Nach dem Regierungsentwurf soll der Bund trotz zusätzlicher Ausgaben zur Betreuung von Flüchtlingen und weiterer Investitionen auch in den kommenden Jahren auf neue Schulden verzichten und einen ausgeglichenen Etat mit der “Schwarzen Null” bis 2020 halten.

Just Get Me To The Day Care Center On Time

September 9, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germany’s Central Register of Foreign Nationals published statistics on Friday that raised alarm bells across the country: There are 1,475 children, foreign nationals living in Germany, listed as “married” on their official paperwork. Even more troubling, said the office, was the likelihood that the actual number is much higher…

Child

The most highly represented country of origin was Syria (664). There were also many from Afghanistan (157) and Iraq (100), but also on the list were European countries like Bulgaria (65), Poland (41), Romania (33) and Greece (32).

At least 361 migrants aged under 14 are married in Germany.

Sensational Survey Shocker: Germans Pessimistic About The Future

September 8, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Holy freakin’ Scheiße. Talk about coming out of left field.

Germans

A survey by the Allensbach Opinion Research Center has just discovered that Germans living in comfortable circumstances and aged between 39 and 59 are – now get this – really pessimistic about the future.

Boy oh boy do I ever hope that they (whoever they are) paid these opinion research center people one big pile of money because you can be absolutely certain that absolutely no one over here saw that one coming.*

Schwindender Optimismus, Sorge und Ängste trotz guter persönlicher Lebenslage und wirtschaftlicher Situation? Die Mehrheit der Deutschen zwischen 30 und 59 Jahren ist laut Analyse des Meinungsforschungsinstitutes Allensbach zwar materiell zufrieden, blickt dennoch eher pessimistisch in die Zukunft.

* I would have given them that data for half of whatever it was they paid them. I’m just sayin’.

Sharia Police

September 6, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Sounds like it would make a good cop show to me.

Sharia Police

I know. To give the German version an interesting twist they ought to name the main cop dude something bizarre like, I dunno, Sven or something.

An Islamist preacher suspected of leading self-styled “Sharia police” patrols in a German city is going on trial in Duesseldorf.

In 2014, Mr Lau is said to have led a group of men wearing high-visibility vests emblazoned with “Sharia police” on patrols in Wuppertal, western Germany in a bid to enforce their ultra-conservative interpretation of Islam.

Working Germans Totally Inefficient These Days

September 2, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Whereas the number of working Germans who put in a 48-hour workweek back in 1995 was 1.3 million, some 1.7 48-hour workweek Germans are needed today to get the same amount of work done. Or so I assume…

Working

Was für Luschen. What a bunch of duds.

Während 1995 etwa sechs Millionen Beschäftigte regelmäßig am Samstag oder Sonntag gearbeitet haben, waren es im vergangenen Jahr bereits 8,8 Millionen und damit jeder vierte Beschäftigte.

Germany To Remain Germany

September 1, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Attempting to calm current fears that Germany could possibly turn into France, Mexico or even Lithuania, German Líder Máximo Angela Merkel herself has assured her nervous countrymen that this will most definitely not be happening.

Merkel

Not any time soon, at least. “It is not being actively pursued at the moment,” she elucidated.

These irrational fears came about after the population discovered well over a million foreign residents living next door to them who seem to have suddenly materialized out of nowhere, fueling speculation by some that they could be from one of those three countries. “They don’t speak French very well, though,” said one member of the population when asked. “And nobody is wearing a sombrero. I’ve never been to Lithuania myself so maybe they’re like from there or something.”

“Change is not a bad thing — it is a necessary part of life,”

The Dirty Dozen

August 30, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The German army is shrinking fast. After a recent purge of right-wing extremists, left-wing extremists and now Islamists, the number of able combat soldiers the Bundeswehr keeps on hand to never actually use has dropped to a dangerously low level indeed. Below is a picture of the entire remaining German army in non-action.

Army

“This has gone far enough already,” said one disgruntled spokesman for the pitifully anemic somewhat military-like force. “If they ever make us kick out the common criminals and other unsavory types we won’t have anyone left to not go to war with at all.”

More than 60 Islamists are suspected of sneaking into the ranks of the Germany army to undergo military training and carry out attacks in the country, it has been reported.

Ex-Miss Germany Confirms Ex-Mister Germany Shot By Currently Reigning German Cops

August 26, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

An ex-Miss Germany friend of an el wacko former Mister Germany (who denies the existence of the Federal Republic of Germany) has confirmed that he was shot while being evicted from his home (a little place he calls “Primeval Nation”) during a police action in a town that goes by the name of Zeitz.

Mister

Adrian Ursache apparently had started a group of so-called “Reichsbürger”, or citizens of the Reich, who do not recognize the current government of the Federal Republic of Germany and therefore do not believe they should pay taxes or fines.

Up until the cops came to evict him Ursache apparently also refused to recognize the existence of German police weapons, too.

“Adrian war ehrlicherweise immer schon ein bisschen durchgeknallt*, aber dass es so eskaliert, macht uns sprachlos.”

* German of the day: Durchgeknallt. That means cuckoo.