A German National Soccer Team With Only Germans On It?

Ouch. What a frightening thought. If you’re the German national soccer team coach, I mean.

Football

Uhm, I’m no Fußball aficionado or anything but is there such a thing as a Zweite Liga (second division) when it comes to national teams?

A German right-wing politician who caused outrage by racially disparaging footballer Jerome Boateng followed up Friday by saying the national team is “no longer … German in the classical sense”.

Alexander Gauland, of the Alternative for Germany (AFD) party, also questioned the loyalty of German-born international Mesut Ozil, who is of Turkish origin, for making the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca.

“Die Nationalmannschaft ist schon lange nicht mehr deutsch.”

Terrorists In Germany?

Huh? Since when?

Terror

“A spokesman for the prosecutor declined to comment on whether the two suspects posed as refugees or sought asylum in Germany or elsewhere in Europe.”

Germany arrested three Syrian citizens on suspicion of planning an Islamic State terror attack in the city of Düsseldorf, the country’s top prosecutor said Thursday.

Two men, identified as Saleh A. and Hamza C., joined Islamic State in Syria in early 2014 and received orders from the organization’s leadership to carry out an attack in the bustling old town in Düsseldorf, the prosecutor’s office said in a statement on the arrests. The two plotted to attack one of Düsseldorf’s main streets with two suicide bombings, and then “to kill as many passersby as possible with guns and further explosives,” the prosecutor said. The two left for Turkey and then separately traveled to Germany via Greece in March and July 2015, the prosecutor said. Hundreds of thousands of refugees and migrants also entered Europe via Turkey and Greece last year.

Über Balkanroute eingereist

PS: And call me bekloppt (wacky), but I think I detect a pattern here, too.

Dalai Lama Now A German Right-Wing Populist Anti-Immigration Racist Jerk

Talk about your politically incorrect behavior. Why this is practically bordering on common sense!

Dalai Lama

In a recent interview with the Frankfurter Allgemeinen Zeitung, the incarnation of Avalokitesvara and the Bodhisattva of Compassion himself, otherwise known as the Dalai Lama, had the unmitigated audacity to weigh in on Germany’s refugee policy, or the lack of it, and like, you know, indirectly criticize it and stuff.

Noting that the moral superpower “cannot become an Arab country” and that “there are too many refugees there in the meantime” and that “these refugees should only be permitted to stay for a limited amount of time before going back to rebuild their home countries,” the brazen Tibetan monk has caused a violent wave of Schnappatmung (wild gasp-like breathing fits) among the morally indignant everywhere. In Germany, I mean. And there’s lots of them folks, believe you me.

Just who does this guy think he is? Other than the freakin’ Dalai Lama, I mean. And he calls himself a Christian man.

“Deutschland kann kein arabisches Land werden.”

German Authorities Not Sure Yet But Think Her Knife Attack May Not Have Been Your Everyday, Run-Of-The-Mill 15-Year-Old Girl Kind Of Knife Attack

And it must be those glasses that are making them so suspicious, right? She tried to kill a police officer in Hanover in February.

ISIS

Reporters from German public broadcasters WDR and NDR as well as the daily newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” were able to gain access to chat logs between Safia S. and a fellow Islamist in Hanover.
 
The chat logs showed that the 15-year-old met with IS members during a trip to Turkey in January. She intended on crossing into Syria, but wrote that there was a “change of plans.”

The IS members asked her to travel back to Germany to “surprise the unbelievers.”

“They told me it has a greater benefit,” Safia S. wrote, adding that it would be “really fun.” She also wrote about a “martyr operation.”

Die 15-Jährige Schülerin Safia S., die im Februar einem Polizisten am Hauptbahnhof in Hannover in den Hals stach, soll im Auftrag von ISIS gehandelt haben!

German Of The Day: Geschichtskompensatorische Moralüberhebung

A prime example of how Germans can just create cool new words/concepts at will, this means, I think, the morally overbearing attempt (by Germans) to compensate for their history. Think of this within the context of the current refugee crisis, if you please.

History

Germany’s new weight in the world is provocative but when German politicians attempt to deny its existence and try to flee instead back to their “dealing with the past”-policy (Vergangenheitspolitik) they irritate all the more.

Germany’s refugee policy is a textbook example of this German sickness (according to Heinrich August Winkler), a separate path (Sonderweg) par excellence. The federal government is now completely isolated, ergo its policy has also been refuted. And the motive behind this German madness lies in – what else? In its overbearing attempt to compensate for history.

Deutschlands neue Größe provoziert, doch wenn deutsche Politik diese neue Größe verleugnet und sich stattdessen in ihre Vergangenheitspolitik flüchtet, dann provoziert das noch mehr.

Die deutsche Flüchtlingspolitik ist für Heinrich August Winkler nun ein Lehrbuchfall deutscher Krankheit, ein Sonderweg quasi wie gemalt. Denn die Bundesregierung sei völlig isoliert, ergo auch widerlegt. Und das Motiv für diesen deutschen Irrsinn liege – wo sonst?! – in geschichtskompensatorischer Moralüberhebung.

PS: And who says the Left can’t have it’s cake and eat it, too?

Amateur Climate Scientist Puzzled How Earth’s CO2 Got To Mars

That’s right. I’m going to do a little amateur science today for once already if you don’t mind thank you.

Mars

I mean, I’m puzzled or something. If human CO2 emissions are the cause of climate change here on Planet Earth today (this is at least what folks here in Germany tell me every freakin’ day) and a similar type of climate change took place long ago on Mars as well (there used to be a lot more ice there a few hundred thousand years ago, you see) then how on Earth did we on Earth manage to transport our human CO2 emissions back through time and space to Mars to cause that Martian climate change in the first place and like not even be aware that we were were doing it or even how we were doing it and still aren’t for that matter? I’m just asking.

Is that creepy or eerie or what? Otherworldly, how insidious and tricky these human CO2 emissions can be these days.

Klimawandel gibt es auch auf unserem Nachbarplaneten Mars.

German Of The Day: Das war knapp!

Meaning that was a close call.

Flughafen

For a moment there it almost appeared as if the city of Berlin might somehow actually manage to complete the construction of the Mother of All Politically Engineered Airport Absurdities by the end of 2017. But only for a moment. Whew. The more things don’t change, the more they stay the same.

Travelers are set to wait still longer for Berlin’s much-delayed new airport to open, as city media report that a provisional opening date in late 2017 is no longer achievable.

Niemand hat die Absicht, einen Flughafen zu errichten.*

*Nobody has the intention of building an airport. Get it? You know, like nobody had the intention of building a wall? The only difference is that they got that wall up in no time.

EU Demands 20% Steaming Crap Quota

Sorry. I meant streaming crap quota, of course. You know, when it comes to what Netflix and Amazon Prime is allowed to offer its customers here in Europe?

Film

That’s right. The European Commission is planning to introduce a quota ensuring that at least 20 percent of the content offered by Netflix and Amazon Prime are European productions. This “identity-building measure” is necessary, the commissioners say, in order to, well, build identity (the European Commission’s identity?) and of course to continue to protect films and series that nobody wants or intends to watch but to keep on subsidizing anyway (“culture” in ze Europe is regulated by unelected state bureaucrats who know better than you and are here to help you whether you want their help or not  and not by yucky old and vulgar supply and demand – just in case you were wondering).

“Wir halten 20 Prozent für sehr maßvoll.”

Bayern Munich Wins DFB Cup For The 2,397th Time

What a surprise or something. And right here in Berlin, too. And that after another fascinating goalless finish in normal time. I got lucky, though. I only injured my forehead twice (slightly) nodding off during the match.

Hummels

Bayern management has already announced plans to celebrate the occasion by buying the next best Borussia Dortmund superstar money can buy. If there are still any left that they haven’t bought already, I mean. You know, the rich get richer and all that?

Während Bayerns Thomas Müller im Pokalfinale einfach “die Eier in die Hand” nimmt, versagen Borussia Dortmund im Elfmeterschießen die Nerven. Das nächste Titeltrauma veranlasst BVB-Coach Tuchel zu einem Feuerwerk der Selbstkritik – inklusive einer verbalen Abschieds-Ohrfeige für Mats Hummels.

Monsanto Not Nearly As Evil As It Was Just A Few Hours Ago

That’s because a German company is now trying to buy it (although they do appear to be choking on it at the moment). Germans are like Green with a capital G or something, you see.

Soybeans

It (Monsanto) has been characterized variously as sinister, evil and a corporate bully. Surveys rank it among the most hated companies in America. And now Bayer AG wants to buy it…

“Monsanto has been better defined by the critics than they should’ve been. We see often times a company has a terrible reputation that often is not that they’ve done something horrendously bad. They’ve just let others define them.”

Von Monstermais und Frankenfood: Die Welt hat sich verändert. Vor hundert Jahren ernteten Getreidebauern in Deutschland je Hektar kaum ein Viertel der Menge, die die Landwirte heute einfahren.