NATO Picking On Russia Again

June 19, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Appeasement, Crimea, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, NATO, Pacifism, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

And warmongering. Just ask German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD).

“What we should not do now is inflame the situation with sabre-rattling and warmongering,” he said. The “situation” being Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its continued military intervention in Ukraine, which is apparently something other than sabre-rattling and warmongering when viewed from Berlin.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East. But despite all the rhetoric, the German foreign ministry assures the world that Germany’s mighty army, a formidable threat to Russia, will be there for its allies whenever it should be needed.

Was wir jetzt nicht tun sollten, ist durch lautes Säbelrasseln und Kriegsgeheul die Lage weiter anzuheizen.

Remember: These Folks Don’t Represent All Muslims Living In Germany

June 17, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Islam, Law, Muslims, Radical Islam, Religion, State, Turkey, Turks Leave a comment

They only represent about HALF of all the MODERATE ones: Nearly half of Turkish immigrants in Germany put Islam above law.

That’s right. The latest Emnid poll indicates that 47 per cent of the more than three million Turkish citizens living in Germany admit following their religion was “more important” than obeying “the laws of the land in which I live”.

32 per cent said they yearn to live in a society of the times of the Prophet Mohammed.

I guess we don’t even want to know what the radical Muslims out there are thinking. Like duh. We already do.

36 Prozent der Befragten überzeugt, nur der Islam könne die Probleme der Zeit lösen. 47 Prozent halten die Gebote des Islams für wichtiger als die deutschen Gesetze.

Volkswagen To Build E-Cars

June 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Diesel, Dieselgate, E-cars, Electricity, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Volkswagen 2 Comments

But they haven’t figured out how to equip them with diesel emissions test cheating software yet.

The sleazy, crooked, dirtball of a company also hopes to introduce more self-driving vehicles in the near future. If those work out, self-purchasing models will be the next logical step. And after that, who knows? The Welt or something.

Volkswagen unveiled a plan for the next decade containing culture change, as it strives to compete in an industry moving towards e-cars, self-driving systems and on-demand mobility – all while it deals with Dieselgate.

Mit Elektroautos in die Zukunft!

The Spy Who Got Left Out In The Cold

June 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Honorary Degrees, Rostock, Spies, Whistleblowing 2 Comments

Crazy court rulings these days, I tell ya. One court here in Germany, for instance, just ruled that Edward Snowden HIMSELF cannot receive an honorary degree from the University of Rostock

This is because – now get this – providing controversial and politically charged intelligence service data does not constitute a scientific achievement.

What do ya thinka that? What a bunch of jurisprudence. Why, that’s absolutely positively, uh… Wait a minute. Sure makes sense to me, come to think of it (is that why this court decision is so outrageous?). But now let’s move on. So who the hell are these wackos from the University of Rostock?

Ist die Bereitstellung brisanter Geheimdienst-Daten eine besondere wissenschaftliche Leistung oder nicht?

Talk About Crossing A Red Line

June 14, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bunds, Germany, Interest, Investments, Negative Interest, Savings Leave a comment

Somebody call the President or something.

I’m gonna buy a mess of these. But like what will be my German Bund’s 10-year yield at -0.030 percent? I mean, will there still be any of my investment left?

“Nobody buys bunds at these yield levels thinking they are attractive. Demand for haven assets is being driven by fear of Brexit and growth concern. Investors are buying bunds as a hedge against uncertainty.”

Confused Green Youth These Days

June 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Euro 2016, Fans, Flag-waving, Flags, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Nationalism, Patriotism, Political Parties, Soccer, Sports Leave a comment

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!

Most Germans Don’t Want Brexit

June 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brexit, Brussels, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Polls, Surveys 4 Comments

According to a recent poll, that is. 79 percent of those asked hope that the UK decides to stay in the EU.

This is interesting, I find. Because another poll indicates that the Germans are just as skeptical about the European Union as the British are.

A survey by Pew Research Center shows that while Brits may be the ones pushing to split away from the European Union, an equal proportion of Germans also feel negatively towards Brussels. The poll found that 48 percent of Germans have an unfavourable attitude towards the EU, exactly the same proportion as in the United Kingdom.

So what have we learned here? Nothing, as usual. Never trust a statistic you haven’t forged yourself.

Mit 79 Prozent wünscht eine große Mehrheit der Deutschen, dass die Briten sich gegen einen Brexit entscheiden und in der EU bleiben.

PS: Just read a funny comment in the Daily Mail concerning Wolfang Schäuble’s Brexit warning (how it would would shut the UK out of single market). “Germany is really scared stiff of Brexit as they are likely to be the only country funding all the other free loading countries if the UK leaves. He also needs reminding that the only reason the EU exists is because Germany couldn’t stop killing its neighbors.”

German Olympic Chief Shocked That Russian Athletes Dope

June 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Corruption, Cover-Ups, Doping, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Olympics, Russia, Sports Leave a comment

Systematically, I mean.

A German broadcast alleging the Russian state helped cover-up sports doping has been described as “shocking” by German Olympic sports head Michael Vesper.

In all fairness, however, it should be noted that Mr. Vesper was also shocked to find out that Bill Gates is rich, the Pope is a Catholic and bears shit in the woods. Like, uh, what kind of dope is this guy on? And where can I get some?

“Ich finde den Film schockierend. Er zeigt: Doping zerstört das Ansehen des Sports, das Vertrauen in den Sport, die Werte des Sports und die Sportler, die es nehmen.”

But Who’s Counting?

June 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees, Statistics Leave a comment

Migrants in Germany committed or tried to commit some 69,000 crimes in the first quarter of 2016, according to a police report that could raise unease, especially among anti-immigrant groups, about Chancellor Angela Merkel’s liberal migrant policy.

And how do the cops know that these are migrants committing these crimes? That’s easy: They’re the ones without any identification. 80 percent of the refugees coming to Germany do so without papers (and only about 30 percent of the grand total are actually war refugees at all).

Ain’t no big deal, I guess. So the next time you fly over to Germany from US-Amerka just leave your passport at home and explain that to the customs officials here. And good luck with that, too (maybe saying that you’re fleeing from the American presidential election festivities might work).

80 Prozent der Flüchtlinge kommen ohne Papiere.

German Of The Day: Frontstadt

June 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Bureaucracy, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, World War II Leave a comment

That means a city on the front or on the front-line. You know, like the Berlin of today?

Or at least that’s what certain people here in town seem to think about it. Some are even calling it a failed state.

Take a deep breath here now. They don’t really mean that, of course, but in terms of an upcoming city election the situation here is pretty dramatic for a large number of Berliners who might want to vote. Due to the continued chaos at the various Bürgerämter (citizen’s offices) throughout the various districts of the city (unbelievable waiting times for appointments being the main problem here) it is estimated that some 280,000 new and newly-moved Berliners will not be able to register to vote in time. They are now being encouraged to contest the results of any election they were not able to take part in.

One election researcher says that the last time Germany experienced this kind of chaos was shortly after World War II.

Ein Wahlforscher sagt, dass es ein derartiges Chaos in Deutschland zuletzt kurz nach dem Zweiten Weltkrieg gegeben habe. Berlin ist wieder Frontstadt, erfreulicherweise ohne Bombardements.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hurt Feelings