Pleasant Christmas Smells Make Germans Sick

And here you always figured that your lousy Chirstmas spirit had to do with the dreaded Verwandtenbesuch (visiting relatives). Well, it does. But recent research indicates that Christmas smells in abundance (and they always are this time of year) can also make Germans irritable and depressed.

Smell

That’s right. Aromatic candles, incense, advent wreaths with cinnamon and cloves, vanilla, anise, coriander, you name it. All these wonderfully smelly yule tide substances now pose a health threat to us (I mean you) and should be enjoyed in moderation only. I mean not be enjoyed in moderation only, of course.

Bah! Humbug already!

“Zuerst empfindet man den Duft noch als angenehm, aber bald schon kippt die Stimmung, man fühlt sich unwohl, leer oder gereizt.”

Google Now Evil Panic Mongering And Cheap Propaganda Machine Or Something

German lawmakers were clearly shocked upon learning that Google would not be warmly welcoming their proposed legislation to let publishers charge search engines for displaying newspaper articles.

The search engine giant has reacted instead by initiating a campaign to mobilise public opinion against the proposed bill and calling for the public to “defend your web,” a company spokesman noting: “An ancillary copyright means less information for consumers and higher costs for companies.”

German Justice Minister Sabine Leutheusser-Schnarrenberger said that she for one was astonished that Google was trying to monopolise opinion-making. “Why, that’s our job,” she might have said.

“The campaign initiated by Google is cheap propaganda.”

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Warum das Leistungsschutzrecht keine gute Idee ist:

Generell sehen die Forscher die Gefahr, dass auf deutsche Presseprodukte gar nicht mehr verlinkt werde, „jedenfalls nicht unter Verwendung von Snippets, die für effiziente Internetrecherchen jedoch elementar sind“. Sie warnen in ihrem Schreiben, das namhafte Urheberrechts- und Medienrechtsexperten unterstützen, vor negativen Folgen für die deutsche Volkswirtschaft. Ihre Schlussfolgerung: „Gesamthaft betrachtet scheint der Regierungsentwurf nicht durchdacht. Er lässt sich auch durch kein sachliches Argument rechtfertigen.“

You Can’t Even Count On German Hypochondria Anymore

One can only muster up just so much angst, I guess. Even if you’re a German. There’s just never going to be enough of it to go around to make everybody happy. I mean unhappy.


 
That’s right. Current German Angstzustände (states of anxiety) just ain’t what they used to be. German angst being the complex, ever-changing and unstable condition that it is, a new Forsa study has indicated that, for the moment at least, Germans are actually more frightened of the ongoing European debt crisis than they are of the worries they make about their own health, or lack of it.

How it could come to this unexpected result is very puzzling for many, myself included, but one researcher has come up with a startling new theory that might explain this sudden and eerie angst turnaround. He believes that the permanent media reports about sicknesses and health risks stir up people’s worries and fears (duh), but with all the media attention being focused on the debt crisis these days, common disease mongering has simply been coming up too short on the angst Skala (scale).

Boy I sure hope that they finally get this Eurpean debt crisis crap over with soon so we can get back to business.

“Es scheint, als ob permanente Medienberichte über Krankheiten und Gesundheitsrisiken auch die Ängste der Menschen schüren.”

Germans Have Psychological Issues With Regards To Amerika?

Like, dude. I honestly had no idea.

German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. Yet Germany also harbors a childish infatuation with Obama — one which has little political grounding. The reasons are psychological.

…The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.

Is Possession Really Nine-Tenths Of The Law?

Strange. Stored abroad since the Cold War in case of a Soviet invasion, nearly half of Germany’s gold reserves are stored in the United States.

Stranger still: The Bundesbank or other independent auditors have never actually physically checked the gold’s authenticity or weight but have relied on “written confirmations by the storage sites” instead.

Now folks are starting to, you know, wonder (paranoia runs deep)? Hey, central banking at its best is all I can say. It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s just that we don’t trust you.

“Ein Teil der Diskussion in Deutschland ist schon einigermaßen grotesk.”

US-Amerika In Decline Yet Again

Clearly disappointed in last night’s debate for some inexplicable reason, one leading German mind policeman has hurried to remind his countrymen that the United States is still, after all, a “global power in decline” which now appears to be “stuck in the Bush worldview,” whatever that is.

A buddy of his at the same German news organ also rushed to explain that President Obama, being a man of peace or something, did not want to have to fight and get all rude during the debates like he did but that the “unexpectedly close race” forced him to. I tell ya, life just ain’t fair sometimes.

With his centrist policies, Barack Obama tried to be a president for all Americans. But few in Washington were enthusiastic about his attempts to reach bipartisan compromise.

What Are 20,000 Jobs?

If they are being offered for the sake of Germany’s beloved Energiewende (energy turnaround), I mean (and if you’re not one of the 20,000, of course)?

There is a certain logic here. I think. First you phase out German nuclear power plants because of the Fukushima disaster in Japan (I still haven’t figured out this part yet), then you phase out thousands of Japanese jobs due to the loses incurred by the energy companies due to this hasty (as in immediate) phase-out.

Oops, sorry. I just took a closer look at the article. Those are German jobs that are about to be phased-out, of course. Duh. Look folks, I’m not a German energy turnaround expert here you know. Forgive me for the confusion. Technically, it’s not even mine. I’m just trying to pass it on as best I can.

Branche verliert durch Atomausstieg Geld – Eine Reihe von Studien hatte in früheren Jahren bereist festgestellt, dass der Netto-Effekt der Ökostrom-Subventionen auf dem Arbeitsmarkt bestenfalls Null ist.

The German Petty Bourgeoisie At Its/Their Best

One thing that all Germans have in common is their absolute disgust for all things kleinbürgerlich (petty bourgeois). You know; being small-minded, scrupulously orderly, old fashioned, reactionary, banal, provencial, dilettante and, well, “square?”

Another thing that all Germans have in common is that they are small-minded, scrupulously orderly, old fashioned, reactionary, banal, provencial, dilettante and, well, “square.” You know, kleinbürgerlich?

Take this latest tourist-bashing craze going on by the Enlightened Left in Berlin (the way coolest, least kleinbürglich city in Germany), please:

“Noisy tourists go home!” reads one hostile sign in the eastern district of Friedrichshain. “Berlin doesn’t love you,” say stickers plastering traffic lights in nearby Kreuzberg.

A gallery in an area known for its trendy bars featured for months a scrawled sign in the window: “Sorry, no entry for hipsters from the U.S.”

Being petty bourgeois here isn’t pretty, folks. It never has been. But it sure is petty. And somebody’s got to do it. I just wish they’re weren’t so many volounteers here all the time.

Must See TV 4 Me

Finally, German TV for the rest of us. Hot diggity dog.

A new mini-series is starting on ZDFneo called “German Angst” and promises to finally and definitively answer a question that has been puzzling me for many years: “Are Germans really as neurotic as everybody thinks they are and just what is it that they are afraid of?” Actually, it’s the second part of that question I’m interested in. I already know the answer to the first part.

Of course if the show can actually hold that promise or not, that’s another thing. And how the hell are they going to find all this out in just 6 short episodes?

“Ich bin Autor und Reporter auf der Suche nach der Angst.”