National Weapons Registry Planned For Nation In Which Practically Nobody Owns A Weapon

November 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Humor, Legislation, Satire, Weapons Leave a comment

Except criminals, of course (but they won’t have to get theirs registered).

Germany is introducing a national firearms registry that will be operational next year, implementing a European Union directive two years ahead of its due date.

The register will pool nearly 550 local-level databases of gun owners, the Interior Ministry said in an e-mailed statement today. The EU weapons directive requires every member state to put in place a national registry by December 31, 2014.

…In a second step, the registry will also track producers, traders and importers of legally bought weapons in Germany.

“The national weapons registry contributes significantly to the security in Germany.”

German Blue Cards Going Like Hotcakes

November 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Blue Cards, Bureaucracy, German, Germans, Germany, Green Cards, Humor, Immigration, Labor, Satire, Skilled Workers, Xenophobia Leave a comment

A mass influx of skilled foreign laborers with “blue cards” to Germany is causing unexpected bureaucratic headaches and unsettling the already unsettled German xenophobic population at large.

So far, a grand total of 139 (that’s 1-3-9) foreign professionals have received the coveted card, camparable to the US-Amerikan “green card,” since its introduction in August.

“Wow. We had no idea just how bad people wanted to come here,” said one suprised immigration official. “This was way too easy. But how are we going to find jobs for all these folks now?”

Skilled employees from outside the European Union have apparantly been lining up everywhere and eating their achy breaky yearning little hearts out in earnest for this envied piece of blue plastic for quite some time now, partly due, it seems, to Germany’s celebrated image of being an overly bureaucratic and unwelcoming place for foreigners of all non-German kinds.

“German immigration law is still complicated and not very transparent for foreign skilled employees.”

Speaking Of Sinking Ships

November 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Energy Turnaround, German, Germans, Germany, Green Shirts, Hot Air, Nuclear energy, Wind Energy 3 Comments

EnbW Energie Baden-Wuerttemberg AG (EBK), Germany’s third-largest power supplier, postponed a decision to invest more than 1.5 billion euros ($1.9 billion) in a wind farm in the North Sea.

“We need legislative clarity and reliable conditions before we make an investment decision of considerably above 1.5 billion euros.”

Algeria

November 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms Sales, Berlin, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Pacifism, Satire, Weapons 5 Comments

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Prioritäten Setzen

November 11, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Diplomacy, Foreign Policy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Merkel, Obama, Satire 2 Comments

You know, to prioritize?

The refocusing of U.S. attention on Asia that marked Mr. Obama’s first term had already provoked much soul-searching among Germans about the relevance of the trans-Atlantic ties that for decades defined their existence.

The failure to announce any early state visit to Germany is still perceived in Berlin as a snub, and has helped fuel the urban legend that Mr. Obama has not forgiven Ms. Merkel for refusing to let him speak as a senator before the city’s heavily symbolic Brandenburg Gate landmark.

“Berlin is not only a place of German history, but of American history. It is the city where the Americans twice triumphed over evil, first the Nazis and then the Communists.”

Germans Have Psychological Issues With Regards To Amerika?

November 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Infatuation, Inferiority Complex, Psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Satire, Schadenfreude, Superiority Complex, Trauma 12 Comments

Like, dude. I honestly had no idea.

German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. Yet Germany also harbors a childish infatuation with Obama — one which has little political grounding. The reasons are psychological.

…The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.

“Dramatically Poor”

November 8, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Economy, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, The Euro, The Euro Crisis, The Eurozone Crisis Leave a comment

German exports fell in September at the fastest pace since late last year, official figures show, adding to evidence that the eurozone crisis has infected the continent’s economic powerhouse.

September imports fell 1.6% and exports declined 2.5% month-on-month, seasonally adjusted data from the Federal Statistics Office showed. Overall exports were down 3.4% from a year earlier but orders from eurozone countries plunged 9.1%.

“The trade figures are a normal consequence of the dramatically poor industrial orders, which have fallen at their sharpest rate in a year.”

There Was Nothing Else In The News These Past Two Days

November 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Election, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, News, Obama, Romney, Satire, Slow News Day, The Presidential Election 3 Comments

So I thought I would post about the new non-stop long distance bus line from Leipzig to Frankfurt that will already be starting service this coming November 29.

It is going to be really neat. The trip might take a bit longer, I read, but at least you’ll be able to take your bike with you.

Längere Fahrzeit, aber Radmitnahme

This Just In: The Taliban Is Violent And Yucky

November 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Islam, Religion, Taliban, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

Infidel is in, again. Or at least it is for the 27-year-old German who had travelled to Waziristan with his wife intending to free the area from the “infidel occupiers” after they had converted to Islam.

He has now returned to Germany because, well, he was “disheartened by the violence and annoyed with the group’s macho and drug-taking world.”

The former fighter also complained of the unhygienic conditions in the war-torn lands of Pakistan’s Waziristan province and Afghanistan that left him infected with hepatitis, and which were, in his opinion, “incompatible with the teachings of the Koran”.

Holy crap. The Taliban is violent? Wow, like nobody had told me about that either, dude. We feel your pain (in the ass). So welcome back to the real, as in infidel world.

Take Your Pick

November 2, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Elections, Employment, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Hype, Jobs, Journalism, Obama, Romney, Spin, The Presidential Election Leave a comment

You can have the German headline Zahl der Jobs seit Obamas Amtsantritt gestiegen (the number of jobs has increased during Obama’s term of office)…

Or you can have the German headline Arbeitslosenquote steigt vor US-Wahl leicht (the jobless rate climbs slightly before the US election – with the emphasis on slightly here, people).

The main thing is that they both remain misleading. I guess this psychological prepping now will be needed later to explain how dumb and ungrateful Americans are (if Obama loses) or how truly deserving his magnificent victory really was (if he wins).

Man of man. You can almost cut the nervous German nervousness here with a knife right now.

Arbeitslosenzahlen lassen Obama aufatmen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Berlin