Rocket Science This Ain’t

September 24, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Alexander Gauland, Angela Merkel, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Media, Political correctness 1 Comment

Wow, I’m so thankful that somebody finally cleared this up for all of us.

German far-right leader says Merkel’s refugee policy enabled his party’s rise.

Well I guess we’ll know more about this development later on today.

Washington Post: You were for decades a member of [Angela Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union]. As far as you’re concerned, did you leave the CDU or did the CDU leave you?

Alexander Gauland: Angela Merkel changed the CDU from a party that had convictions to a party that’s an empty balloon. There’s nothing in it any longer. A lot of decisions of Angela Merkel — transitioning to renewable energy, refugees, changing of the military from conscription to volunteer — ran opposite to what we called in former times “the soul of the CDU.”

Washington Post: Do you find that Germany is more divided now than it has been in previous years?

Alexander Gauland: Yes. It is more divided now. Because in the beginning of the refugee crisis, all media and all politicians were for refugees. The people who didn’t like this very much didn’t find their opinion in the media. And they couldn’t discuss their fear about what was going on in Germany. And that did divide the German society into the people who want to help [refugees] and the other ones who said we have enough problems in this country.

Das Ende der Bundesrepublik

If I Had A Vision I’d Go See My Doctor

September 21, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Angela Merkel, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Politics, Refugees 3 Comments

Die Mitte (the middle) is where it’s at, folks. Well it’s certainly where I’m at. And you can’t have visions from here in the middle. I mean, I may not always know what I stand for but I always know where I’m standing..

And that’s what Germans want, the middle. The middle of the middle, even. The middler the better. No meddling with the middle. We’re right in the middle of an election campaign, after all. Did you know that Mittelmaß (literally “the middle measure”) means mediocrity in German?

Sure, there was a little Abweichung (deviation) from the middle with that batshit crazy refugee number of mine. Quite a big deviation, actually. But I apologized. Sort of. And now I’m back home, smack dab in the middle of where you want me to be. Just call me. Mutti. Mutti in the middle.

See you on Sunday!

Perhaps the closest she came to setting out a vision was a year ago, as she presented this year’s budget in parliament. Germany, she said, has seen a lot of change since World War II, and “change isn’t a bad thing.” But she also vowed to defend the status quo in the broadest sense of the term: “Germany will remain Germany, with all that we love and hold dear about it.”

“Whoever has visions should go see a doctor.”
– Helmut Schmidt

German Of The Day: Pest oder Cholera

March 26, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Saarland, Schulz, SPD 4 Comments

That means the plague or cholera. You know, as in having to choose between the two?

That’s what voters in Saarland get to do today: Ch00se between Merkel’s too big to fail plague or “Schulz effect” cholera. May the best pestilence win.

Germany’s election year gets under way in earnest on Sunday when voters in Saarland choose a new state assembly, the first test of the Social Democrats’ surge in polls since they chose Martin Schulz to run against Merkel in September. The chancellor’s Christian Democrat-led bloc and the SPD were even at 32 percent each in an Infratest Dimap national poll published Friday.

SPD To Announce Candidate Later

November 21, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, SPD Leave a comment

Now that Angela Merkel has opened the campaign for next year’s parliamentary elections in Germany by announcing her intention to run for a fourth term, the folks over at the SPD have made it clear that they intend to wait until they are good and ready before announcing their candidate, probably sometime in 2018.

They don’t have a candidate who has a chance in hell, get it?*

Am Montagmorgen hatte SPD-Vize Ralf Stegner erklärt, die SPD werde “bald” über ihren Kandidaten befinden.

*Chancellors aren’t directly elected here, of course, but the SPD is now an under-20%-party.

German Of The Day: Multikulti

November 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: AfD, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Political Parties, Politics 2 Comments

That means multiculti, as in multicultural. And this is a word that is suddenly “out” for Angela Merkel’s CDU, for some inexplicable reason.

But to compensate for the loss, Modernisierungsverlierer (modernization losers) is now officially “in” with them. And just in case you were wondering, we are once again moving into election season in Germany and these “losers” are the same ones who have helped parties like the AfD become “winners” in recent years. Sounds vaguely familiar somehow but I can’t seem to put my finger on it at the moment.

Im Entwurf für den Leitantrag, der beim Parteitag Anfang Dezember beschlossen werden soll, sprechen die Christdemokraten ausdrücklich jene Bürger an, “die sich als Modernisierungsverlierer sehen und derzeit noch bei populistischen Parteien von rechts und links ihre Zuflucht suchen”.

Jenna B.

October 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hotness Tags: Berlin, CDU, Jenna Behrends, Sexism 2 Comments

Beautiful German of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Losing Isn’t Everything

September 19, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Angela Merkel, Berlin, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees, SPD Leave a comment

It’s the only thing. If you belong to Angela Merkel’s CDU party these days, that is.

But don’t worry. The brainiest ones over at the CDU are putting their heads together at this very moment to figure out were these electoral loses at these recent regional elections are coming from. They’ll figure it out before all too long, I’m sure.

Chancellor Angela Merkel’s party was dealt another blow in a regional election, posting its worst result in Berlin since the end of World War II as the anti-immigration Alternative for Germany extended its challenge to the political establishment by siphoning off voters.

The Social Democrats, Merkel’s junior coalition partner in the national government, won the election for the capital’s state assembly and the chancellor’s Christian Democratic Union finished second. Yet their combined voter share declined by about a quarter, leaving the “grand coalition” of the two biggest parties without a majority to run Germany’s biggest city.

“Sehr bitter.”

German Of The Day: Abschiedskultur

July 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Armin Schuster, Asylum Seekers, CDU, German, Germans, Germany, Islamic Terror, Migrants, Politicians, Refugees, Terror Leave a comment

Yesterday we discussed the German Willkomenskultur (welcome culture). Today the very latest big thing is a new German word called Abschiedskultur (farewell or send-off culture).

There are over 200,000 asylum seekers who have been denied asylum here in Germany but are still here. After the latest terror attacks – committed by two of them – a CDU politician (from Angela Merkel’s welcome culture party itself) has now had the audacity to say that it’s high time for the German government to see to it that those denied asylum actually go.

Boy oh boy did this guy ever take a dive into some hot water.

Wer abgelehnt wird, muss gehen.

PS: Sorry, I just double-checked. Only one of those two asylum seekers was denied asylum. The other one was “well-integrated.”

Trump, Trumper, am Trumpsten

March 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hate, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: AfD, Anger, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Protest, Refugees, SPD 4 Comments

Am Trumpsten means “the most Trump-like” in German. Well it does now. I just made that up. That’s the cool thing about German. You can make up words right and left (in this case right?) and no force in the universe can stop you.

Anyway, it’s state election time in Germany today and Germany has a Trump-like problem. Germany’s Trump-like problem: Right-wing, anti-foreigner movement poised for big election win.

The problem has the same root cause the American Trump-like problem has, too. Nobody “up there” takes the worries of these folks “down here” seriously, particularly with regard to the refugee crisis. It’s time to dish out some punishment, see? This anger won’t lead to anything constructive, of course, but nobody who votes for the Trumps of this world thinks that far ahead or very much cares. Get your popcorn ready. It’s gonna be ugly.

„Die AfD könnte deutlich besser abschneiden als erwartet.“

Boaring

March 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Angela Merkel, CDU, German, Germans, Germany, Muslims, Pigs, Political correctness, Politicians, Pork, Puns, Refugees Leave a comment

Like what’s the pig deal? I guess you could say I am disgruntled, folks.

Sow what do you mean that some politicians in Schleswig-Holstein want pork products removed from “cafes, daycare centers and state schools across the state to prevent offending Muslims?”

Well, I’m with some of their reactionary colleagues who are now campaigning to make pork mandatory in public canteens and schools there.

I’m rooting for them, so-to-speak. One should never truffle with tradition.

Dienstag ist Schwienstag. Die Geschichte einer vermeidbaren Sauerei.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: CDU