Latest Upbeat Prognosis Für Welt Just In

And for Deutschland, in particular.

2035

It goes a little like this: In the year 2035, 2035 (if man is still alive), all the economies of Welt will have lost ground big time except for China and India (and a wee little bit for Brasil and Russia) and Germany will have become so weak and mickrig (puny) that it will then become prey to something economic scientists and other experts refer to here as “langsame Bedeutungsverlust” or a creeping loss of significance.

Hey, ain’t that how life goes for all of us out there sooner or later, Deutschland? Don’t fret. You are not alone. You are just all by yourself.

“Es könnte gut sein, dass man eines Tages sogar darüber nachdenken muss, ganze Landstriche aufzugeben.”

Green Logic

This is how you save the world (from Climate Change).

Energy

German consumers already pay the highest electricity prices in Europe. So it follows, then, that the prices Germans pay for electricity need to be increased.

That is why a turnaround must be introduced – the infamous Energiewende or “energy turnaround” – with which, for instance, a renewable energy surcharge is levied that increases every consumer’s electricity bill from 5.3 cents today to between 6.2 and 6.5 cents per kilowatt hour — a 20-percent price hike. For starters, of course.

You see, this way everybody is happy because every single one of us then feels painfully, on a day-to-day basis, just how much he or she is pulling his or her own CO2 weight, all for the good of mankind, not to mention Planet Earth. And Mother Nature too, of course. Whoever she is.

In the near future, an average three-person household will spend about €90 a month for electricity. That’s about twice as much as in 2000.

WikiLeaks Leak Leaked To US Intelligence Before Leak Could Be Properly Leaked

Or so claims that anything but courageous fighter for selective justice and phoney moralist-snitch-nerd-global-poster-boy Julian Assange HIMSELF.

Assange

And that is why he is now blowing the whistle yet again, only this time from his self-imposed exile in an Ecuadorian Embassy cell, and has made a criminal complaint with the German Federal Prosecutor’s Office in Karlsruhe.

He believes that an evil ex-US Marine Corps spy guy dude pre-leaked his leak while Assange was visiting a “Chaos Computer Club” convention in Berlin back in 2009. And this is just plain not fair, I guess. And leak-worthy in and of itself.

Nach Darstellung des NDR und Süddeutscher Zeitung soll Assange in seiner Strafanzeige den Bundesanwälten angeboten haben, sich per Video zu dem Vorgang vernehmen zu lassen.

And This Year’s Winner Of The German Spitzel, Spy And Whistleblower Award Goes To…

When you get the top award in the category of Best Informant from a country like Germany, you know you have most definitley reached the top of your game.

Snowden

And so it comes as no surprise to most Hollywood award-watchers out there that Edward Snowden has just received the German “Whistleblower Prize” in recognition of his “bold efforts” to expose the monitoring of communications data by his trusted, I mean trusting employer.

As we all know, Germany enjoys an incredibly long and rich tradition of abusing individual freedoms, usually in the form of “Spitzel” or spying activity practised between private individuals, regardless of the current political or totalitarian system they may find themselves in, so this prestigeous award immediately skyrockets Snowden to the exalted ranks of the top double-crossing turncoats of recent German, if not world history.

Snowden himself was speechless. But this was mostly because he was not available for comment, nor will he be able to pick up said award for some strange reason, but still.

“Wir sind Edward Snowden außerordentlich dankbar.”

“Syria Tests Germany’s Culture of Reluctance?”

Reluctance? No reluctance here. Saying no is the standard German operating procedure in this country. You know that, Karl-Theodor. It’s just good-old German irresponsibility when it comes to international matters that might actually cost them something.

Syria

So what’s being “tested?” I don’t get it. Why waste all these words and all this time trying to make something so blood simple appear to be so complicated, Karl-Theodor? No need to explain. This is standard operationg procedure in Germany, too.

In the wake of the chemical weapons attack near Damascus, Western military strikes against Syria seem imminent. And Germany will once again demand a special role.

PS: Important German of the day here: Extrawurst. That means “extra wurst” of course, or special treatment.

More Naked Political Reality

Now these are what I call political animals. Grrrr.

Femen

A bunch of Femen activists were demonstrating again somewhere in Berlin today against somebody cracking down on their Femen activities somewhere in some country some place as if somebody could care less or was even freakin’ listening.

Activism sure can be a dirty business, can’t it? And nasty, too. But somebody’s got to do it.

“My boobs, my bombs.”

German of the Day: Veggie-Klatsch

A smack upside they green veggie heads, in other words.

Veggie

If you believe the latest voter survey, that’s what the German Greens are getting at the moment.

Seems to have something to do with their recent Veggie Day Offensive. Or maybe it has something to do with their overall everyday offensiveness or another one of their many other offensive ambitious dreams for Verbotsrepublik Deutschland. Hard to say for sure.

NEUE WÄHLER-UMFRAGE SCHOCKT TRITTIN & CO.

How Secure Is “Email Made In Germany?”

“Boom Triggered By NSA: German Email Services Report Surge in Demand”

Email

But just how secure is email made in Germany? Way Secure.

Email made in Germany is double-triple-quadruple encrypted. And then it gets double-triple-quadruple encrypted again.

Email made in Germany is so secure that an email made in Germany warns you when you try to send it to someone the email made in Germany hasn’t been introduced to yet.

Secure? Why email made in Germany never leaves local servers, thus ensuring that the email made in Germany stays right here in Germany where it belongs verdammt noch mal (dadgummit)!

We’re talking secure here, people. Email made in Germany is so secure that when we say it never leaves local servers we mean it never leaves local servers. Ever. It never even gets delivered at all.

“I would strongly recommend against anyone trusting their private data to a company with physical ties to the United States.”

Makes Sense To Me

“US Experts Want More Leadership from Germany”

There hasn’t been any leadership in the US for about five years now. Somebody ought to start doing  it one of these days.

Obama in Berlin

Germans aren’t the only ones with interests at stake in next month’s election. The US is watching too — and Washington is hoping that, once the campaign is history, Germany will show more leadership on global issues.

“I think the assumption Americans have is that Germany should always step up and take responsibility commensurate with its weight in the world.”

PS: There was yet another anomaly in the GCG (Gun Control Germany) yesterday.

It’s Good To Be In A Crisis

Money is like water (or maybe like beer). It has to go somewhere. And 40 billion euros just made its way to Germany.

Crisis

While fear has driven money away from Greece and Spain and co, making the government cost of repaying debt in these countries seem prohibitive, in Germany it has been quite different. Fear has boosted Germany coffers…

One thing is for sure, putting it in Greek bonds is risky. Spanish, Italian and Portuguese bonds don’t seem much safer either. But German bonds, in contrast, feel as safe as a safe house in a land with no crime. In fact so safe are German government bonds or bunds, perceived to be, that there have been times when the yields on some of them have been negative.

So actually, Germany has done rather well out of fear created by the euro crisis – or should that be the other way around – a euro crisis created by fear?