A Liberal Mosque?

The first “liberal mosque” is set to open today in a church in Berlin.

Mosque

Liberal, huh? I guess they’re going to hold their services in the left-wing of that church. It’s the last mosque on the left side of that street, by the way.

Liberal? Why the pews in that mosque lean so far to the left that everybody piles up on the prayer mat.

Why that mosque is so liberal that the cleric plans to let his husband be the first one to call the faithful to prayer.

The brainchild behind the mosque is feminist, peace activist and lawyer Seyran Ates, who moved to Germany from Turkey at the age of six. It will allow men and women to pray and preach together rather than separately. “Fundamentally, the mosque’s door is open for everyone, with one exception: No one will come in with a niqab or burqa.”

Qatar

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Weapons

Because somebody has to admire them.

Es sind besorgniserregende Zahlen: Laut Rüstungsbericht hat Deutschland 2016 fast doppelt so viele Kriegswaffen an Drittländer geliefert als noch ein Jahr zuvor. Zweitgrößter Abnehmer ist ausgerechnet Katar.

German Cast As Bad Guy In Hollywood Movie

The wonders never cease with this new Wonder Woman flick. For the first time ever, as far as I am aware of, a German has been cast as the bad guy. And here for a while I was worried that Hollywood was running out of fresh, new ideas and stuff.

Ludendorff

Worse still, this bad guy is based on a real German, General Ludendorff himself (I think it’s the guy on the left). He was a general, like I said, in the Imperial German Army who was apparently “ruthless, ambitious, and willing to do whatever it takes to win the war for Germany.” A real loser, in other words. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat already, folks. Do you think they might actually let them win this time?

By the way, Wonder Woman is also based on a real woman. But only very loosely.

The real Ludendorff has been credited for coining the “stab in the back” myth. After World War I, right-wing Germans believed that the Germans didn’t lose the war on the battlefield, but instead that they lost the war because other Germans betrayed them on the homefront

No Joke

Little old ladies just don’t seem to understand the world we are now living in. Not that I do, either. But still.

Hate Crime

In Germany, you can be arrested and fined €1,350 for finding jokes like these funny (and then sharing it on your Facebook page): “Do you have anything against refugees? Yes. Machine guns and hand grenades.”

And using some lame excuse like “I like to pass on funny things” won’t help you out here one little bit, ma’am. You are guilty of hate crime. Hate crime, you ask? What is hate crime? Well, hate crime, when it comes to jokes, is kind of like thoughtcrime only… No, wait. It is thoughtcrime. That’s precisely what it is. Now just sit back and relax, ma’am. We will purge that abominable joke from your mind with the help of this little red button right here.

„Ich leite gern spaßige Sachen weiter.”

Help Me Man I’m Sick

Ever feel a clammy unease and growing sense of disorientation when living in a particular German city while unsure about what it is you are actually experiencing except that nervous, slippery hold on reality during what is in effect a captivity drama much too subtly disquieting to be called a life?

Yup. Then you’ve got Berlin Syndrome, too. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. Or, better yet, don’t call me. Like, at all. I’m being held captive and can’t come to the phone.

Der beklemmende Hype.

Brother Of Safia S. Now Islamist Criminal, Too

And his name is Brother S.

Safia

Sorry, I mean Saleh S. And don’t even think of telling me that you don’t know who Safia S. is cause I know you do. But now her brother, Saleh S., has been given seven years of Jugendstrafe (youth custody) for carrying out an Islamist-motivated arson attack. In Germany, people. That means he could literally spend months in prison.

Mother S. and Father S. could not be reached for comment. Nor could Cousin S. (no relation to Cousin Itt). Nor could the Dog S. of the Great Aunt S. of the Neighbor Across The Street S. Okay, S. reicht (that’s enough) already!

Das Landgericht der Stadt hat Saleh S. nun wegen versuchten Mordes in sieben Fällen schuldig gesprochen. Dem Gericht zufolge hat der junge Mann gestanden, am 5. Februar 2016 aus islamistischen Motiven zwei Molotow-Cocktails in den Haupteingang eines Einkaufszentrums in Hannover geworfen zu haben.

PS: Talk about your Fahrenheit 351 (I know, it’s actually Fahrenheit 451). There are currently 351 Islamists with warrants out for their arrests being searched for by police in Germany. It is unclear, however, how many of them are members of the S. family.

More Government In Action

Here’s how this one works.

Tax

Step 1: The German government invents a new tax back in 2011 (before Fukushima even) making German energy utilities pay the government for using the nuclear fuel rods they already use.

Step 2: The utilities raise the price of energy they produce directly after that so the German consumer covers this arbitrary government interference.

Step 3: The German supreme court now rules that this tax is unconstitutional (you can’t just make up taxes that don’t have a constitutional basis, not even in Germany) and that the German government must now pay back the six billion euros (with interest) it took from these utilities.

Step 4 (still to come): The utilities will not compensate the German consumer nor reduce the price increases it passed on to them for having had to pay for this illegal German government tax.

Step 5 (still to come): The German government has already spent the six billion euros, of course, so it will need to round up that money from somewhere else.

Step 6 (just a question): Who do you think the German government is going to get this money from?

The system is rund (round), as the German say. And it works perfectly, as usual.

Der Gesetzgeber, so die Begründung, kann nicht irgendwelche Steuern erfinden, sondern nur solche einführen, die im Grundgesetz vorgesehen sind.

Who’s Your Daddy?

The German birth rate is suddenly spiking or something. I knew you could do it, guys.

Pregnant

German officials say growing numbers of pregnant immigrant women are paying German men to pose as fathers so that they can qualify for residency.

German broadcaster RBB found up to 700 cases in Berlin alone. “There are many unreported cases,” said Ole Schröder, a top interior ministry official.

Some pregnant immigrant women are reported to have paid fake fathers and solicitors as much as €5,000 (£4,356; $5,628) to get paternity registered. Once that is done, the baby automatically becomes a German citizen and the mother has the right to stay.

“Wir haben teilweise Personen, die über zehn Vaterschaften annerkannt haben.”

Latest Anti-Terror Tributes Frighten Islamist Terrorists Into Submission

Or at least that’s the plan, I assume.

Terror

If Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate lit up in the colors of the Union Jack didn’t get them to change their evil ways last night than that One Love Manchester concert certainly must have done the trick. Talk about your one-two knockout punch.

I mean, what else could we possibly undertake to stop Islamist terrorism in Europe? I can’t think of anything, either. Other than singing Imagine by John Lennon, perhaps (in unison, holding hands, of course). A new hash tag (#TerrorismIsBadDon’tDoIt)?We’ve done what we could, people. Let’s get on with our lives now.

EUROPE UNITES Berlin and Paris stand in solidarity with London as Brandenburg Gate lights up in Union Flag colours while the Eiffel Tower goes dark 24 hours after terror atrocity.

 

There Has To Be A Connection Here Somewhere

What? Something happened in London, too? Imagine that.

Rock

I mean, after concrete terror threats forced German police to temporarily shut down the Rock am Ring music festival in Nuerburg and an Afghan man who killed a boy at a German refugee center near Regensburg was also shot and killed and German police arrested a 17-year-old asylum seeker suspected of planning a suicide attack in Berlin and… There were a few more there but I lose track of them these days. In the good old days, when these things only took place once a week or so, they were a whole lot easier to classify and arrange in order.

Something tells me that these terrible events must all be tied together somehow. I can feel it. There has to be a common thread connecting them but I just can’t figure out what it is. I bet you Sherlock Holmes could, though. If such a person existed, I mean.

PS: In an unrelated story, the rate of deportations is stagnating in Germany.