Toss Out Them There German Wetbacks Now!

Well it’s about freakin’ time somebody did something about the German illegal alien menace to the U s of A, I say.

Go Alabama. Run with it. That state’s tough new law targeting illegal immigrants seems to be working even better than expected. A German Mercedes-Benz manager thought he’d try and outsmart us (as in US) by driving around the countryside without a proper driver’s license. When an officer of the law stopped him and asked to see one, the German tried pulling a fast one by pulling out his namby-pamby German identification card. Needless to say he was immediately arrested and taken downtown for questioning (if there is such a thing as downtown in Alabama).

Dumm gelaufen (tough luck), pal. We ain’t the boy scouts here, mein Freund. We’re the Alabama State Police.

The 46-year-old executive was charged with violating the immigration law for not having proper identification, but he was released after an associate retrieved his passport, visa and German driver’s license from the hotel where he was staying.

British Selfish, Germans Bossy

British Prime Minister David Cameron just can’t wait to visit German Chancellor Angela Merkel in Berlin today. Honest.

They really like each other. Really. Despite the clashing views on the euro and the suspicion and the reproaches and the German bashing and the Schadenfreude and those behind the scenes upbraids and the secret plans and those numerous ugly encounters on the football field (some call it soccer) we have all had to watch because we just can’t look away.

Geez. Why can’t everybody be more down-to-earth and even-keeled and well-liked like us Americans?

“We are sick of you criticizing us.”

Our Wind Farms Would Work Just Great

It’s just that we don’t have the cables to bring the energy to shore (nor the money to lay them).

The network operator building those giant offshore wind farms planned to be a “supporting column” in Germany’s coming-one-day-but-not-in-any-way-near-there-yet energy turnaround, is no longer able to continue “work as usual.”

Like the Dutch government before them, having learned that offshore wind power is too expensive and that it cannot afford to subsidize the entire cost, the good folks at TenneT TSO GmbH are now about to throw in the towel, seemingly unable to find financing in the private sector that would allow them to continue their over cost and behind schedule project (it’s probably them damned durn banks doing this again, or that 1%).

The connection from Water World (Wind World?) back to Planet Earth has turned out to be more complicated and expensive than politically correct planners had originally thought, in other words, provided they had even thought about it at all.

But don’t worry, Green Shirt ideologues have already assured us that “If Tennent can’t swing the offshore development, somebody else can.” Money seems to be no object here, you see. When it’s not yours, I mean.

“Wenn Tennet den Offshore-Ausbau nicht schultern kann, müssen andere ran.”

Bond, Sovereign Bond

So, is it time for the sweet poison or the silver bullet? Germany (or one German) is the last man standing and it’s time to pay up or shut up.

Can Germany (and Germany’s “independent” Bundesbank President Jens Weidmann) jump over its/his shadow and allow the European Central Bank to become the lender of last resort in Europe’s never-ending efforts to prop up the euro?

Pump up the volume already. Half a dozen bailout packages and half a trillion euros later, Greece is closer to leaving the euro zone than ever before and Italy now seems bound for bankruptcy, too. Who’s next? And where’s the money? It looks like Europe’s arsenal is down to one last taboo here: Let the ECB vouch for all of the outstanding debt of the debtor nations, “permanently, to an unlimited extent and in violation of all applicable laws.” Germany, for some strange (and wonderful) reason, is still against doing this.

You know the deal, my fellow Americans. It’s the easy way out: “Print money and drown the debt crisis in a sea of liquidity.” Look what its done for us – so far.

Hey look, I don’t know much about economics (nor do at least half of the world’s economists, for that matter), but I do know that if President Barack Obama, President Nicolas Sarkozy and European Commission President José Manuel Barroso are all urging the Germans to abandon their resistance to the ECB plan, it’s probably best for the rest of us out there if this Weidmann guy sticks to his guns. I wouldn’t bet money on him doing so, though. And I certainly wouldn’t bet using the euro.

He mechanically recited the traditional mantras of the Bundesbank: “independence,” “a culture of stability” and “credibility.”

Speaking Of Government In Action

Or was it government inaction?

Here’s my personal favorite when it comes to the best (as in worst) cases of German tax revenue negligence for 2011 (so far):

The Bundeswehr stores 227 million rifle cartridges having a combined worth of 116 million euros. At least 40 percent of these cartridges have been stored improperly, however, they are now corroded and can no longer be used and will cost the German taxpayer approximately 46 million euros.

Actually, though, if you think about it, it’s surprising that the Bundeswehr doesn’t have to throw away more corroded ammunition than they already do.

Der Schaden beläuft sich auf 1,5 Milliarden Euro.

The Brown Army Faction

Get it?

It’s paranoia time. All you need are three or four slobs with weapons (supposedly so well controlled by the state), lots of truly criminal energy and a huge government network of giant law enforcement and security agencies clearly incapable of even knowing that this group exists or what it has been doing for the past 13 years (more effective government control in action) and you’ve got all that you need to turn these killings into a massive, shadowy consipiracy of neo-Nazi sympathizers active throughout said law enforcement and security agencies bent on helping this group and those like them in overthrowing civilized democratic society as we know it.

And all of this has to take place in Germany too, of course. Oh, and I forgot. You also need a big honkin’ fear industry media machine that makes money by selling pre-packaged products like this.

No, “the government” isn’t conspiring with anybody here. It’s just being inefficient, as usual. And the more the government, the more the inefficiency, as usual. So what’s the answer? Why, more government, of course.

“Ging denn bei niemandem die rote Lampe an?”

Dumbass Computer Gamers

As everybody out there knows… All this computer game nonsense (not to mention the violence) is dumbing down our kids and ravaging our European cultural identity (or at least yours).

“Scientists at the Berliner Berliner Charité medical school have made a surprising discovery: Moderate computer game players have a great deal more brain volume.”

Von wegen, Computerspiele machen dumm – Untersuchungen mit Magnetresonanztomografen ergaben, dass die Hirnstruktur von moderaten Computer-Spielern ausgeprägert ist.

What Do Bushido, Bambi And Heino Have In Common?

I’m not sure, but whatever it is has got to be bizarre.

Bambi is not Bambi here, it’s an award. Heino, however, is Heino. And so is Bushido (as in being Bushido). They are both singers, kind of. Heino is now like way totally beleidigt (offended) because Bushido got a Bambi (the award) and has now sent his (Heino’s) back in protest. Heino thinks that Bushido is not volkstümlich (folksy) enough, I think, and Heino of all people should know what volkstümlich enough is or not. Bushido, being a criminal German Hip-Hop kinda guy with the bad lyrics and all that, was born offended. So now everybody is happy, I think. Hey, this is Schau business or something.

“Ich bin zutiefst empört, dass man einem gewalttätigen Kriminellen wie Bushido den Bambi verleiht. Mit diesem Mann möchte ich nicht auf eine Stufe gestellt werden.”

Staunch Communist Seeking Deluded Socialist For Meaningful Progressive Relationship, Common Starry-Eyed Idealist Undertakings And Hot Passionate Sex

And just when you thought the Left Party freak show couldn’t get any freakier.

Now when former Left Party boss Oskar Lafontaine and Sahra “The Stalinist” Wagenknecht aren’t working on plans to redistribute other people’s wealth and ensure that the means of other people’s production are at the service of the whole of society, they’re – you might want to look away here – gettin’ it on.

Like how revolting can revolution get?

“Es ist alles gesagt.”

Like Get Out Of My Gesicht Already

Are we having another Street View yet? German faces on Facebook? Niemals (never)!

When it comes to Facebook’s biometric facial recognition technology “Tag Suggestions”, or just about any other kind of dad-gern-new-fangled sinister and EVIL US-Amerikanische Internet technology out there for that matter, Germans verstehen kein spaß (just can’t take a joke). And when you mix up a little “out of principle” in the fixins’, this latest tasty data protection Skandal is ready-to-serve.

To opt-in or opt-out, that is the question (German paranoiacs prefer the opt-in opt) and Hamburg’s data protection commissioner is now preparing legal action against Facebook and will soon fine the company over its use of said technology because, well, he can.

“Facebook has repeatedly come under fire in Germany, where privacy is a particularly sensitive issue for historical reasons.” Historical reasons? Nonsense. This is clearly a mental health issue.

“We believe that any legal action is completely unnecessary as the tag suggest feature on Facebook is fully compliant with EU data protection laws.”