We’re Number One! We’re Number One!

Or Nummer eins, in this case.

Auf Wiedersehen Brit! Drunk Germans take the title of WORST tourists from boozy British holidaymakers in Majorca – Drunken German troublemaker tourists have taken over the mantle from boozy Brits in Majorca’s popular holiday resorts.

English holidaymakers have always been branded the worst offenders in the town of Magaluf.

But now the small village of Arenal on the opposite side of the Bay of Palama has become a mecca for young German hooligans, who are taking advantage of low-cost flights to take 24 hour or 48 hour breaks dedicated to getting drunk and taking drugs.

German Of The Day: Schrumpfen

That means to shrink.

You know. As in the Sick Man of Europe? The Incredible Shrinking (or was it Sinking) Country?

German Economy Shrinks Faster Than Expected – It’s a rare thing to happen, but Germany now looks like the sick man of Europe, a phrase previously often used to describe Britain.

The health of the business sector dropped significantly in June, according to recent data. The Ifo Business Climate index for Germany, which measures the health of the commercial sector, registered 88.5 in June, down from 91.5 in May. Higher numbers show economic strength, whereas lower ones show a weakening of the economy.

Speaking of sinking…

Forget Manhattan

First we take Sonneberg. Then we take Berlin.

When conservative parties no longer have the courage to be conservative parties (thanks again, Angela Merkel), where will many of their voters go?

German far-right party wins its first county leadership post, rising in polls – Victory of AfD’s candidate in rural Sonneberg area reflects rising popularity of anti-immigration party.

They sentenced me to 20 years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I’m coming now, I’m coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

We Germans Don’t Have Babies Anymore

And now we don’t have workers anymore (some speculate there may be a connection here).

But we’ve passed another way cool law. Now the unskilled migrants who came here illegally can stay. Unfortunately, the skilled migrants we would now like to have aren’t interested in coming to Germany because of our taxation bureaucracy, etc. A well-functioning system, don’t you think? Or have we forgotten to fix anything else? No need to thank us. We’re from the government and we’re here to help.

German parliament reforms skilled work immigration law – The German parliament has passed legislation to open up new opportunities for job seekers from countries outside the EU and for many refugees who are already in the country. Conservative lawmakers are up in arms.

Wet And Wild Summertime Diversity Fun!

The elephant in the pool. The name we do not speak.

Spate of mass brawls at German outdoor swimming pools.

Some of the comments, blaming “social hotspots” or so-called “clans”, appear tinged with racism: both are code words for immigrant groups…

But German society today is less hierarchical than ever. So, in Berlin, the “Bademeister” already relies on security guards to keep the peace.

The Germans Can’t Talk About Biden

Even they can see what’s happening in US-Amerika right now and are in the deepest, strategic denial. So they gladly talk about (as in down) Trump instead. Or “Trump’s America.” That Evergreen (German for perennial hit) is always a guaranteed feel-good.

A Road Trip through Trump’s America – Former U.S. President Donald Trump is seeking another term in the White House. A trip through Republican-controlled states reveals just how radically America has already changed. Can the country survive a second Trump tenure?

Is America on the verge of a split? Or, even worse, a civil war? The question may sound rather hysterical, but the longer you travel through the country, the more pressing it becomes…

Save The Planet

Leave the country.

It’s the only Green thing to do.

German energy prices are so high they’re driving companies to relocate, industry body says…

In May, the German government revealed plans to set aside around 4 billion euros ($4.4 billion) each year to subsidize electricity prices for energy-intensive industries, in an attempt to shield businesses from high electricity prices.

“A lot of family-owned companies … have very operational plans to relocate.”

The Real Reason Why Germans Won’t Stop Speeding?

Like, duh. Because they like it.

This ain’t rocket science or anything.

The real reason Germans won’t stop speeding – If Germany would implement a speed limit on its highways, it could reduce millions of tons of carbon emissions each year. Most other rich industrial countries already have one. What’s behind this German love of speeding?

German Consumers Are An Odd Lot

They have this annoying tendency to not spend money they don’t have.

It has to do with something they call “debt.” Whatever that is.

Analysis: Spend the recession away? Not the thrifty Germans – A drop-off in spending by inflation-hit consumers was one of the main reasons Germany fell into recession in the first quarter, even as other countries in the region managed to avoid it.

What’s more, even with inflation starting to ease across Europe, the signs are that Germany’s famously thrifty shoppers are not ready to spend their way out of recession – meaning the region’s largest economy will have to look elsewhere for growth.

I’ve Seen German Men Do Lots Of Weird Things

But I’ve never seen one try to sit in one of these.

I’m calling fake news on this one.

Men shouldn’t stand to pee, but sit like Germans do, urologist says – A senior urologist claims that men should not urinate standing up but should instead sit down. Here, the Germans might have the right idea.

PS: Personally, I’ve heard nothing but disdain for men who sit when they piss, but maybe that’s just the questionable crowd I hang around with. See “sit pisser:” Sitzpisser = Sitzpinkler = Turnbeutelvergesser = Warmduscher = Nullschecker = Regenschirmmitdabeihaber…