Is Possession Really Nine-Tenths Of The Law?

October 24, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Banking, Banks, Berlin, Bundesbank, Central Banks, Cold War, German, Germans, Germany, Gold, Gold Reserves, Humor, Paranoia, Satire 1 Comment

Strange. Stored abroad since the Cold War in case of a Soviet invasion, nearly half of Germany’s gold reserves are stored in the United States.

Stranger still: The Bundesbank or other independent auditors have never actually physically checked the gold’s authenticity or weight but have relied on “written confirmations by the storage sites” instead.

Now folks are starting to, you know, wonder (paranoia runs deep)? Hey, central banking at its best is all I can say. It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s just that we don’t trust you.

“Ein Teil der Diskussion in Deutschland ist schon einigermaßen grotesk.”

US-Amerika In Decline Yet Again

October 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debate Culture, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Journalism, Obama, Political correctness, Presidential Debates, Propaganda, Romney, Satire 2 Comments

Clearly disappointed in last night’s debate for some inexplicable reason, one leading German mind policeman has hurried to remind his countrymen that the United States is still, after all, a “global power in decline” which now appears to be “stuck in the Bush worldview,” whatever that is.

A buddy of his at the same German news organ also rushed to explain that President Obama, being a man of peace or something, did not want to have to fight and get all rude during the debates like he did but that the “unexpectedly close race” forced him to. I tell ya, life just ain’t fair sometimes.

With his centrist policies, Barack Obama tried to be a president for all Americans. But few in Washington were enthusiastic about his attempts to reach bipartisan compromise.

The Trend Is Republican?

October 22, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Journalism, Obama, Politics, Presidential Debates, Romney, Satire Leave a comment

Reported in a German newspaper? Openly? No sinister conspiracy theories? No ifs, ands or buts? I’ve seen it all now.

President Obama is under pressure: Surveys indicate that he is losing one state after another to Romney. He doesn’t have many chances left to turn the trend around.

Romney hat den Trend auf seiner Seite.

I Was Nowhere Near Tegel Airport On Saturday

October 21, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Airports, Alarm, Berlin, Fumes, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Odor, Satire, Smell, Tegel, Toilets 2 Comments

So it wasn’t me.

Fumes coming from a toilet at Berlin’s Tegel airport on Saturday sickened 53 people, local media reported.

Die Experten vermuten, dass Reinigungsmittel falsch dosiert wurden.

Merkozy This Is Not

October 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, EU, Euro, France, German, Germans, Germany, Hollande, Humor, Ideology, Merkel, Paris, Politics, Satire, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

How about Hollmerk?

The two capitals (Berlin and Paris) always begin from very different positions, whether there is a socialist or conservative administration in Paris.

The concern in Berlin is over what is seen as the absence of a clear strategy on eurozone reform from the new French government. There is a deep suspicion that France is happy to have a weaker euro, higher inflation, and a looser monetary policy than Germany.

Mr Hollande’s refusal to incorporate the recent “fiscal compact” into the French constitution is one reason that Germany is now pushing for every country to sign a bilateral budget “contract” with the European Commission, that can be enforced by a powerful budget commissar… But Paris regards Ms Merkel as being overly focused on building deeper European political integration in a way that ignores deep-seated reticence in France reflected in the 2005 referendum defeat of the then-planned EU constitution.

Sure That Austrian Guy May Have Taken His Twenty-Four Mile Dive

October 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Daredevils, Draufgänger, Felix Baumgartner, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Stunts, Videos 1 Comment

But can he do this?

Es gibt solche und solche (it takes all kinds).

Draw This

October 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Defeat, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Soccer, Sports, Victory, World Cup Leave a comment

How can you (Germany) have a 4-0 lead in the 60th minute (in Berlin) and then end up with a 4-4 draw against Sweden at the end of the match (a World Cup qualifier)?

Beats the hell out of me. But nobody else here seems to know what happened, either. I guess this was just one of those thrill-of-victory-and-agony-of-defeat moments or something. Only it was a tie. Which makes it, I dunno, worse?

Looking on, their manager, Joachim Löw, was in a “state of shock,” unable to comprehend how his players had managed to throw away a 4-0 lead on home soil to a Sweden side that days earlier had scrambled to victory over Faroe Islands. Germany had drawn but it felt like a defeat.

Get A Job 101

October 16, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Hartz IV, Humor, Pirate Party, Pirates, Political Parties, Satire, Welfare Leave a comment

You couldn’t make this stuff up if you had to, people. Not that anybody cares about Germany’s Pirate Party anymore, but I do have to admit that these guys still keep coming up with real zingers.

The latest coup: The party’s general manager in Berlin, Johannes Ponader, up until now a proud and long-term welfare recipient, is now celebrating his closing with this stage of his life (for now, anyway) by openly calling for public donations to help him finance his hard-pressed, well, livelihood (or lack of it).

Strangely, this actually seems to have upset some of the other pirates out there (they seem a bit touchy these days for some reason) who think that maybe this might cause some kind of a Glaubwürdigkeitsdilemma (credibility dilemma) or something. As if.

Like I said, not that anybody cares anymore or anything.

“Hier entsteht der Eindruck, dass jemand politische Ideen mit persönlichen Vorteilen verknüpft.”

Big Sister Assures Germans That 47-Percent Price Hike Actually Not Such A Bad Thing If You Think About It

October 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Dogma, Economics, Energiewende, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Ideology, Nuclear energy, Politics, Renewable energy, Satire, The Energy Turnaround, The Green Shirts Leave a comment

Not.

Worried about grassroots unrest after Germany’s electrical grid operators announced they were nearly doubling the charge consumers will pay to finance subsidies for renewable energy as Germany phases out nuclear power, Big Sister herself has reacted boldly and decisively by going into hiding and pretending as if none of this were really happening.

Long used to this tactic, worried German consumers were assured, sort of, as they will now be paying an additional 60 euros per year, “taking overall add-on power taxes up to about 185 euros.” But that’s just the start, of course.

Sheesh. Why do Germans see everthing energy turnaround-related so negatively these days? You know, like as in black? Or like as in blackouts, I should say?

“The costs for consumers and industry of the electricity price charge for renewable energy has risen to an unbearable degree.”

Phase-Out Fizzling Out

October 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic power, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Nuclear power, Renewable Power, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, The Greens, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Support for Germany’s Atomausstieg (nuclear phase-out) ain’t what it used to be, it seems. And it seems to have something to do with Geld (money), or something. With reality, in other words.

According to an Emnid survey, 77 percent of German voters asked say it is very important that energy costs remain affordable while only 53 percent care if the nuclear phase-out succeeds or not.

Welcome back to the real world, volks, I mean folks. Hey, you are here in Germany after all. And there is a clearly discernable pattern here. Once the first wave of hysteria is over, it always goes back to es darf eben nichts kosten (OK, but only as long as it doesn’t cost anything).

Für sie ermittelte Emnid auch, dass zwei Drittel der Bürger maximal 50 Euro pro Jahr mehr für Strom zahlen wollen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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