This is one of the best satires I have read in a long, long time.*
One-Hundred Years of Fear – America Has Abdicated Its Leadership of the West
For 100 years, the United States was the leader of the free world. With the election of Donald Trump, America has now abdicated that role. It is time for Europe, and Angela Merkel, to step into the void…
The leaders of the West, minus America, face monumental tasks ahead. They are tasks for German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
* This is a satire, right?
That means stinky finger. You know, as in the finger?
SPD boss Sigmar Gabriel recently got some Sommerloch good press by doing what is generally considered to be a bad thing. Only he was flipping off neo-Nazis who were heckling him so that made it a good thing.
Getting in a little more mileage out of it, he has now said in an interview that his only regret is not having used two stinky fingers (no, not the peace sign, he means two hands).
“Ich habe nicht beide Hände benutzt.”
PS: A Sommerloch or summer hole is the “silly season” during summer vacation months typified by frivolous or unimportant news stories in the media.
Again, I mean.
There will be no jumping to conclusions here, dear German readers. It is verboten or something. But we do have to consider the remote possibility that maybe, just perhaps, this latest attack in Ansbach was also an act of Islamic terror (itself). It is too early to tell, however, like I said. And we certainly would not want to hurt anybody’s feelings by doing so.
What is going on in Germany?, the BBC journalist above asks. Well just don’t ask any German journalists if you want to know.
Es „fühlte sich wie Terror an“, muss aber keiner gewesen sein.
OK. That’s English. But still.
Authorities now say that more than 1,200 women were sexually assaulted across Germany that night, including about 400 in Hamburg and more than 600 in Cologne, by more than 2,000 men. Previous estimates had ranged in the dozens, both for the victims as well as suspects.
About half of the 120 suspects whose identity has been established had come to Germany from a foreign countries within the last years.
Uhm… Why was it under-reported? I mean, what could possibly be the reason for doing so? Does anyone know? I’m just asking.
“There is a connection between the emergence of this phenomenon and the rapid migration in 2015.”
They have there own leaders to do that.
It is illegal under Section 103 of Germany’s criminal code to insult foreign leaders, you see.
So that is why German officials are now “carefully reviewing” the Turkish government’s request to have criminal proceedings be brought against German comedian Jan Boehmermann over his satirical poem suggesting that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan engages in sexual acts with goats.
Wait a minute. Shouldn’t the goats be the insulted ones here? Hardy, har, har. Just joking. Honest, man.
Dass beleidigende Äußerungen hingegen überhaupt strafbar sind, versteht sich keinesfalls von selbst – in Ländern mit angloamerikanischer Rechtsordnung sind sie es ganz überwiegend nicht.
Get used to her face, too.
Her name is Frauke Petry and Angela Merkel’s refugee policy fiasco, and her refugee policy fiasco alone, is virtually assuring her party’s entry and establishment in the German political landscape and it is unfortunately too late now to do anything about it.
Petry says outrageous things like “People must stop migrants from crossing illegally from Austria into Germany. If necessary, through the use of firearms. I don’t want this, but the use of armed force is there as a last resort.”
Imagine that, suggesting the use of firearms to protect your borders as a last resort. Unthinkable, right? Well it is here. But the real outrageous part is the first part of what she said. It is outrageous because that is precisely what most Germans want and Chancellor Merkel refuses to respect this. It’s time to close the borders. It’s been time to close the borders. And it will remain time to close the borders until the borders get closed – presumably following the next election.
Sehe ich so aus, als sei ich unter Druck?
When it comes to reliable news sources, I mean – ‘Refugee’: A keyword that gets German media every time.
Let’s see. Here’s what’s coming out of German media outlets these days: A dead refugee who isn’t, a thirteen-year-old girl raped by refugees who wasn’t and a hand grenade attack at a refugee facility done with a hand grenade that doesn’t explode… Tell me when to stop or something.
Police said the grenade still contained its explosives but it was not clear whether it still had a detonator. Forensics experts are investigating.
* alles wie immer means the same as always.
To “A politically left-intellectual group of high earners in a country that receives virtually no refugees” Magazine. I mean lengthen it, of course.
The American magazine’s decision to honour her (Angela Merkel) with the high-profile award went down less well in Germany itself, where there is deep unrest over the huge numbers of migrants streaming in every day from the Middle East.
Felix Steiner, an editor at state broadcaster Deutsche Welle, said writers in New York who were praising Mrs Merkel’s open door migration policy had no idea about the impact it has had on German communities.
“The haunted ones are the cities and municipalities that are being forced to take in ever more refugees and have no idea how they will ever be able to house and care for them.”
David Vance said (on Twitter): “Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was named runner-up to Merkel in Time “Person of the Year” Says it all, really.”
PS: Speaking of “a country that receives virtually no refugees,” somebody told me that Germany has taken in more “refugees” in 2015 than the United States of Amerika has in the past ten years. Should I believe that person or not?
Only it’s the v-word in our language. And if this is the lying press again they’ve sure been busy. It’s in all the headlines these days.
Several People Hurt: Violence Against Refugees
Crime: Violence Against Refugees Increasing
A Weekend of Violence Against Refugees
Violence Against Asylum Seekers Increasing
Violence Against Refugees Won’t Stop
Germany – Violence Against Asylum Seekers Reaches a New Height
Brandanschläge auf Unterkünfte, Überfälle mit Baseballschlägern: Fast täglich kommt es in Deutschland zu Gewalt gegen Flüchtlinge.
That means the lying press. And, like, welcome to the club already, Germany. It appears that many Germans were not aware of this up until now. I mean, when has the media anywhere ever not been guilty of “embellished and inaccurate reporting?”
In a recent German survey, 44 percent of respondents said they partially, or wholly believe the media regularly lies to the people, as the Pegida movement asserts. Media experts (the people helping with the lying?) examine whether that’s true.
Media outlets in Germany “are controlled from the top,” and therefore spread “embellished and inaccurate reporting.” Nearly half of the 1,000 German citizens recently polled by the Dortmund-based Forsa Institute agreed with these statements.
Currently, the refugee situation dominates media reports. But Germans are simultaneously experiencing the crisis first-hand in their own towns and cities – and often finding dramatic differences between their perceptions of these events and journalists’ representations of them…
For example, Sebnitz: In this village of 8,000 residents in Saxony, where right-wing radicals often make headlines, the son of a German-Iranian couple, both of whom are pharmacists, died accidentally. The immediate headline read: “Neo-Nazis Drown Child.” In truth, the boy drowned after having a heart seizure. A newspaper that reported on the actual facts of the accident nevertheless added: But the way the mood is in Sebnitz, neo-Nazis could well have done it.”
Above all, the issue is often about choice of words: BBC World reported: “Dutch politician Geert Wilders acquitted of hate speech charges in The Hague.” Germany’s national news broadcast, Tagesschau, formulated the same story thus: “The Islamophobe and right-wing populist politician, Geert Wilders…”
Observing Hermann 