German Of The Day: Geht Nicht Gibt’s Nicht

That means, “it’s not possible is not an option.” And that’s where we are right now with this German refugee crisis, I believe.

Merkel

What would you think, my fellow Americans, if your fearless leader (let’s call him “The Pres”) were to tell you in a nationally televised address that it simply is not possible for the United States to stop the influx of refugees coming in from, say, Canada? Or, I dunno, Mexico maybe? You would rightly think, well then what’s the point of having the freakin’ border in the first place?

Well, that’s what the world’s most powerful woman has told her countrymen in Germany now on several occasions.

I have not yet figured out why she is saying this – because it obviously is possible – but talk about your self-fullfilling prophecy. If what she really means is that it is not possible for HER to secure her country’s borders (European Union borders clearly do not exit so these are the only borders left), then somebody else after her will. And I think this could happen pretty quickly now, too.

In other words, German of the day coming soon: Putsch.

Schäuble ist am Ende seiner Karriere angelangt. Er hat nichts zu verlieren. Er ist die Schlüsselfigur, der ideale Mann, einen Putsch anzuführen. Der einzige, der es erfolgreich tun könnte. Er wäre ein denkbarer Übergangskanzler im Fall der Fälle.

PS: I think what we’ve got here with Angie is the next Günther Schabowski.

German Of The Day: Einladungspolitik

That means “invitation policy” and is a term that was recently coined by Austria’s foreign minister Sebastian Kurz to describe Germany’s refugee policy, or lack of it. Other countries other than us (as in US) don’t get what’s going on here, either.

Einladungspolitik

“I definitely wish,” he said, “that we in Europe, Germany above all, start calling things by their right names and say loud and clear: This invitation policy has got to end.”

The irony is that most Germans wish that now, too but can’t seem to jump over their own shadows (as in deep and dark shadows of their guilt-ridden past).

I feel for them, really. Well, sort of. There is just way too much potential for inner conflict here. Germans can be as well-meaning and guilt-ridden as they want to be but, try as they might to welcome these refugees, they are up against some very powerful primal German character traits here (character disorders?): Xenophobia for one, for instance, being extremely territorial for two (ever seen a German house without a giant fence or hedge around it?) and thirdly, having the pressing need for German order – the most orderly kind of order there is, of course. Something’s got to give here, and guess what? It’s starting to give right now.

„Ich wünsche mir definitiv, dass wir in Europa, vor allem auch Deutschland, die Dinge endlich beim Namen nennen und klipp und klar sagen: Es braucht ein Ende der Einladungspolitik“

Angela Merkel Now More Powerful Than Barack Obama?

Like, duh. So is my Briefträger (mailman).

Merkel

Now for my money the real most powerful and toughestest muckahumma von Welt is Bad Vlad Putin HIMSELF.

Bad Vlad is so tough he eats his steak with a straw. You want power? This guy can ski up a mountain. He went skydiving once and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund. Vlad is so tough his cowboy boots are made of real cowboys. And yes, just in case you were wondering, he CAN talk about the fight club.

“Putin beweist weiterhin, dass er einer der wenigen Männer in der Welt ist, die mächtig genug sind, um zu tun, was sie wollen – und die damit durchkommen.”

PS: Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Bad Vlad Putin first.

In My Country We Call Them Coyotajes

Coyotes, actually. Here they’re called Schleuser, which sounds a lot worse.

Schleuser

So like what? Real world stuff can happen in Germany now, too? Maybe it’s time for me to move on to El Paso.

German authorities staged raids across three states against an international people-smuggling network, netting its suspected mastermind as well as a weapons cache, police and prosecutors said.

As Germany faces the biggest migrant influx since World War II, nearly 600 officers were deployed as part of the dawn swoop, the prosecutor’s office in the northern city of Hildesheim and police in nearby Hanover said…

They offered their services mainly to Syrians and Lebanese flying to Germany to pass through border checks with counterfeit documents.

German Of The Day: The G-Word

Only it’s the v-word in our language. And if this is the lying press again they’ve sure been busy. It’s in all the headlines these days.

Gewalt

Several People Hurt: Violence Against Refugees

Crime: Violence Against Refugees Increasing

A Weekend of Violence Against Refugees

Violence Against Asylum Seekers Increasing

Violence Against Refugees Won’t Stop

Germany – Violence Against Asylum Seekers Reaches a New Height

Brandanschläge auf Unterkünfte, Überfälle mit Baseballschlägern: Fast täglich kommt es in Deutschland zu Gewalt gegen Flüchtlinge.

German Of The Day: Blitzabschiebungen

That means fast-track deportations and they are scheduled to begin tomorrow.

Tempelhof

Germany will begin accelerating deportations for migrants who “have no claim” to be in the country in order to focus efforts on refugees from worn-torn countries, government officials have said.

New measures aiming to fast track asylum and extradition procedures for migrants from southeastern Europe, and concentrate on refugees from countries such as Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan, could begin as early as next week, rather than 1 November as previously anticipated.

Meanwhile, at good old used-to-be Tempelhof Airport in Berlin…

Berlin officials say they’re hastily constructing temporary housing facilities in a hangar in the German capital’s former Tempelhof Airport to accommodate a predicted influx of asylum-seekers.

The city said in a statement Saturday that Berlin expects 1,000 people to arrive this weekend based upon the numbers coming across the border from Austria.

It says 90 other facilities are all full, so firefighters, soldiers, disaster-relief workers and volunteers are busily erecting 73 large tents inside a hangar at the famous former airport, which was closed in 2008.

Haus-in-Haus-Lösung” nennt der Senat das: Rund 500 Flüchtlinge sollen die Zelte im Hangar 1 des Flughafens Tempelhof künftig bewohnen, später dann 1000.

First The Pants

Now a Delorian Zwischenfall (incident) in Hill Valley itself?

What are they smoking on German TV news these days? Maybe this Gleichschaltung stuff isn’t such a bad thing after all.

“Eyewitnesses report that the car appeared to come out of nowhere.”

Marty McFly reiste im zweiten Teil der Filmreihe in die Zukunft – und landete mit seinem DeLorean am 21. Oktober 2015 um genau 16.49 Uhr.

German Of The Day: DFB

That stands for Designed for Bribery.

DFB

No, wait. Deceit, Fraud and Blackmail? How about Deception, Fleece and Breach of Trust? Duped, Framed and Bamboozled? OK, OK. DFB stands for Deutscher Fußballbund or the German Football Association. Whichever comes first.

The German Football Association (DFB) is investigating whether a €6.7million payment made to FIFA in 2005 was mis-used. The issue came to light as part of an internal audit carried out by the DFB into the awarding of the 2006 World Cup to Germany.

Der Deutsche Fußball-Bund gibt bekannt, dass eine Zahlung in Höhe von 6,7 Millionen Euro an die Fifa im Jahr 2005 womöglich zweckentfremdet worden sein könnte.

German Of The Day: Pomadig

That means pomade-like. As in: all hair products, no killer instinct. “Pomadig means passionless, combined with a shot of arrogance,” it added. “It’s a combination with which you can lose a match against these wild, fighting, rocketing Irish.”

Sometimes defeat is unnecessary.  Other times it’s completely unnecessary.

German reaction to defeat: ‘Das dumme Ding von Dublin’

German Of The Day: Bierleiche

That means beer corpse.

Bierleiche

And speaking of the Oktoberfest, some of the best finds at the lost-and-found office this year include:

An electric air pump
A toilet brush
bed linen (from the police union)
650 miscellaneous pieces of clothing
600 ID cards and passports
580 wallets
320 cell phones and
250 key rings

They don’t even count the dentures and the wedding rings anymore, I guess.

And getting back to the beer corpse part up there… This year’s winner got carried away in a stretcher 80 minutes after the festivities began.

Ozapft is!