German Of The Day: Bierleiche

October 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: Alcohol, Beer, Excess, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Munich, Oktoberfest 4 Comments

That means beer corpse.

And speaking of the Oktoberfest, some of the best finds at the lost-and-found office this year include:

An electric air pump
A toilet brush
bed linen (from the police union)
650 miscellaneous pieces of clothing
600 ID cards and passports
580 wallets
320 cell phones and
250 key rings

They don’t even count the dentures and the wedding rings anymore, I guess.

And getting back to the beer corpse part up there… This year’s winner got carried away in a stretcher 80 minutes after the festivities began.

Ozapft is!

German Of The Day: Fack Ju Göhte 2

September 28, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Films, German, Germans, Germany, Goethe, Language, Movies, Shakespear, Translations Leave a comment

That of course means “Suck Me Shakespeer 2” in our language.

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

– William Shakespeare

If my film makes one more person miserable, I’ve done my job.

– Woody Allen

German Of The Day: Dreck Am Stecken

September 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Automobiles, Crime, Defeat Devices, Emissions Testing, Environment, EPA, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Industry, Language, Volkswagen 3 Comments

That means there is dirt stuck (to you) somewhere or you have dirt under your carpet – as in having done something wrong or illegal.

You know, like Volkswagen has/does in US-Amerika? The company inserted a device into almost 500,000 cars meant to trick emissions testing, the EPA says. Volkswagen is not denying this.

So the next time Germans begin those tiring lectures about doing more for the Umwelt (another German word meaning environment), remember to make sure and check if their emissions are make-believe or not.

There are almost 500,000 vehicles on American roads with the devices installed, according to the EPA. Volkswagen must now pay to repair the emissions systems in affected cars. The government may also fine the company as much as $18 billion.

Coffee From Togo To Be Heavily Taxed

September 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Deposits, Environmentalists, German, Germans, Germany, Government Intervention, Green Shirts, Greens, Language, Lobbies, Taxation 2 Comments

At last count, Germans who purchase coffee from Togo toss some 3 billion of the disposable cups used to temporarily carry it in each and every year.

Predictably outraged by this, German green shirts have predictably outraged German coffee vendors by suggesting that a 20-cent tax be placed on this luxury drink to encourage coffee Togo connoisseurs to bring along their reusable and occasionally re-washable coffee Togo coffee cups with them, preferably hanging on the environmentally friendly coffee Togo belt loop hangers attached to their biodegradable pants.

Should this prove to be too impractical for some customers, the ecological crusaders suggest, vendors should offer them a discount option (taxpayer subsidized) of drinking the invigorating beverage directly from their trembling cupped hands.

“Nehmen Sie sich ein wenig Zeit und trinken Ihren Kaffee vor Ort – aus einer Tasse.”

Not Bright To Call Germany Dark

September 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humility, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

It is weder (neither) dark noch (nor) bright.

Personally, I like to think of it as being more of a Wehrmacht gray. No, wait. Leave that Wehrmacht part out. Gray like all cats are in the dark, I mean. When it’s not light out there in Dark Germany.

And being that it’s always darkest before the dawn and there is no darkness but ignorance and out of darkness comes creation, well, let’s all lighten up and Schluss (enough) with these all of these dark thoughts already.

Which Germany will prevail? The Germany of racist chants from the roadside? The Germany of rioters and drunken rock-throwers? “Dark Germany,” as President Joachim Gauck calls it? Or will it be the new, bright Germany, represented by the young policeman with his roots in Afghanistan?

German Of The Day: König Kunde

August 27, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: China, Exports, France, German, Germans, Germany, Imports, Industry, Language, Trade, USA 1 Comment

That sounds a bit like King Kong but actually means king customer or the customer is king, if you prefer. And it’s nice to be the king, as you well know.

For decades, France was the single biggest importer of German goods. But that’s changed now. The United States has taken the pole position among clients for “Made in Germany” goods for the first time.

Seit dem Jahr 1961 kauft kein Land so viele deutsche Produkte wie Frankreich. Das hat sich nun geändert. Und auch damit zu tun, dass Amerika wieder mehr auf die Industrie setzt.

PS: But thank goodness Germany still has its trade with ten foot tall China, too.

German Of The Day: Dumm, Dummer, Til Schweiger

August 19, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Egos, German, Germans, Germany, Hollywood, Language, PR, Refugees, Til Schweiger Leave a comment

That means dumb, dumber, the dumbest.

Speaking on German TV Thursday, Schweiger dismissed claims he is using the immigration debate as a way to garner positive PR. “I’m the most successful filmmaker in the country, what do I need PR for?”

“Sie gehen mir auf den Sack.”

German Sommerloch Update: Office Chairs Incorrectly Adjusted For Many Employees

August 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: Employment, Ergonomics, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Hypochondria, Language, Satire, Sommerloch, Work 1 Comment

Especially for the ones still on their Sommerloch summer vacations, I bet.

Sitting for long periods strains the spine. Many desk workers therefore complain about backache. Correctly adjusting the office chair can prevent these complaints, however.

„In vielen Betrieben gibt es gute Stühle, aber die Beschäftigten haben sich damit noch nie befasst.“

German Of The Day: Umweltunfreundlich

August 16, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Biodiesel, Biofeuls, E10, German, Germans, Germany, Governement Regulation, Interventionism, Language, Planned Economy, Socialism, Soja Leave a comment

That means eco-unfriendly. Or in the case of biodiesel, this means “being so eco-friendly that it is eco-unfriendly.”

More starry-eyed government interventionism in action. To save the world from destruction by using biodiesel they have to destroy the world first by producing it. This reminds me of those good old communist planned economy days. And we all know how that went with the best made plans of mice and communist men.

Dem Biokraftstoff gehört die Zukunft. An negative Begleiterscheinungen dachte keiner. Doch die Indizien, dass vermehrt für das Weltklima wichtige Wälder gerodet, Sümpfe entwässert und in Ackerflächen umgewandelt werden, mehren sich. Nach Informationen der Weltagrarorganisation FAO dienen nur noch 47 Prozent der Weltgetreideproduktion – Weizen, Reis, Mais – der Ernährung.

German Of The Day: Erschlagen

August 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Angels, Berlin, Birthdays, Der Himmel Über Berlin, Film, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Movies, Paris, Potsdamer Platz, Texas, Wim Wenders 2 Comments

That means to strike dead. But it can also mean to be overwhelmed by something. In this case, it will be the sheer number of Wim Wenders movies, retrospectives, documentaries, exhibitions, etc. that we will now be overwhelmed with (he’s turning 70 next week).

By the way, this place down here doesn’t exist anymore. At least not in this form.

I’d wish him a happy birthday now but that is absolutely positively not done in Germany. Brings bad luck or something.

70 Things We Love About Wim Wenders 15. Wenders tried for a time to marry German “brood-brood” with American “just do it.” A beautiful child sprang from this union: “Paris, Texas.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Language