US-Amerika Somehow Behind AfD’s Rising Popularity

August 30, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Advertising, Advertising Companies, AfD, Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, Campaigns, Migrants, Political Parties, Refugees, Spiegel Online 3 Comments

Like duh. I suspected it all along. Who else could have possibly been behind it?

After all, as Spiegel Online reports in its inimitable fashion, the advertising company the Alternative for Germany party has now turned to “has worked with Donald Trump.” So there’s no need to read on. We don’t need to know anything more about them.

To assist in its efforts, the party has tapped Kunkel’s contacts to engage the services of advertising professionals in the United States with experience on the right-wing spectrum. The party is working together with the Texas-based agency Harris Media, which recently presented its plans to the AfD’s national committee. With its provocative and aggressive campaigns, the agency has already contributed to the success of a number of controversial politicians. In Britain, it worked with the anti-EU UKIP party; in Israel, it worked with the governing Likud party; and in the United States, news agency Bloomberg has dubbed company founder Vincent Harris “the man who invented the Republican internet.”

“Burkas? We prefer bikinis.”

Do They Have A Marxist-Leninist Animal Protection Party, Too?

August 28, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berln, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties 1 Comment

They are an endangered species, after all. Maybe not in Berlin. But everywhere else they are – aren’t they?

German political parties are not as boring as you think they are. They are much more boring than you can possibly imagine. But some of them are also just plain wacky. Wacky and boring. It’s a new level of boring. Wacky-boring, I guess. I can’t say if it’s higher or lower but it’s a new level.

Take the V-Partei³, for instance. Please. Voters almost across the board can vote for the V-Partei³ (the V-cubed party) – the party for “Veränderung” (“change” in English), Vegetarians and Vegans. Founded in 2016 at the Veggieworld trade fair in Munich, the party has about 1,200 members. By 2030, they’d like to see all butchers go out of business, true to their motto: “We love life.”

Germany’s election campaign is a snooze—just the way Merkel likes it.

Schulz Effect Now Tropical Depression Schulz

August 6, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Language, Martin Schulz, Media Hype, Political Parties, Social Democracy, Socialism, SPD 1 Comment

Only we’re not in the tropics here.

And down, down, down they go. Germany’s Social Democrats (SPD) keep losing ground in the polls just weeks ahead of the country’s parliamentary election. They have now reached what they call the vor-Schulz-Tief or pre-Schulz-low before the legendary, if not mythical medial Schulz effect kicked in when he announced his candidacy. Well, at least he’s not an alien. Having the media on your side doesn’t always help, folks. Not here in Germany, either, I mean.

The Greens have seen better days themselves. Some of the Green rats have even begun jumping ship.

„Die spannende Entscheidung ist der Platz drei. Daran zeigt sich, welche Botschaft von der Bundestagswahl ausgeht. Für die Grünen sind alle, die ihre Meinungen nicht teilen, dumm, von gestern oder böse. Diese Überheblichkeit ist nicht nur nervtötend, sondern auch eine Gefahr für den Wohlstand, wenn Technologien zum Feindbild gemacht werden.“

Suspicious Object Found At SPD Headquarters

May 22, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Bombs, Elections, Faces, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Police, Political Parties, Ralf Stegner, SPD 1 Comment

And it wasn’t the Schulz effect, either.

German police gave an all-clear on Monday at the headquarters of the Social Democratic Party (SPD) in Berlin after it was evacuated due to a suspicious object found in the mail room.

The object, being the face and attached body of SPD federal chairman and state chairman of Schleswig-Holstein Ralf Stegner (aka “the face of defeat”), was found loitering around the mail room, mumbling incoherently (even though there were no microphones in sight), apparently having been looking for fan mail. For hours and hours and hours on end, I assume.

“There was nothing found on Stegner that could have been termed dangerous,” a police spokesman later said as his colleagues led Stegner back outside to put him on a FlixBus to Kiel. “Other than that face, I mean.”

The SPD

May 15, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Martin Schulz, Political Parties, Social Democracy, Socialism, SPD 1 Comment

You know, as in Shellacking, Pounding, Drubbing?

Or, if you prefer, look at them more as being Shaken, Prostrate and Debilitated.

At any rate, all this talk about the “Schulz effect” turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of Silliness, Prattle and Drivel. Because, well, what the comrades really got was a Scourge, a Pile-up, a Debacle.

Germany’s opposition SPD is nursing a stunning defeat in the state election in its North Rhine Westphalia heartland. In power here for most of the postwar period, the SPD were decimated, losing nearly 10% of their vote as Angela Merkel’s CDU soared.

“Leberhaken” in NRWWie cool ist Schulz?

Green With Envy

April 11, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: CO2, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Hybrids, Political Parties, Politicians 3 Comments

Or with hypocrisy. Take your pick. In this case it’s both.

For a political party that wants no more gas/diesel-driven cars to be produced in Germany as of 2030, their talking head types sure seem to like the ones they can still get their sweaty little hands on.

A leading green politician lady was caught on film by the CDU competition as she got out of her CO2-belching Audi A8 Dienstwagen (official car) and into one of them there more correct kind of hybrid models – before driving off to an election campaign event.

The CDU guy who posted his stuff on social media wrote: “First have yourself driven to Dusseldorf in a big honking Audi A8 and then quickly jump into your waiting environmentally friendly hybrid car in the hope that nobody notices. Here’s to Green double standards!”

If I were her I’d just plead the fifth. Or tell everybody that I was suffering from performance anxiety, a very common ailment here.

„Kleiner Tipp an Frau Löhrmann: Beim nächsten Mal das Fahrzeug vielleicht besser in der Tiefgarage wechseln.“

Pay No Attention To That Man Behind The Voting Machine

April 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties, Voters, Voting, Voting Machines 1 Comment

Machines that tell you how to think (media machines) are old school. Now we’ve got machines that tell you how to vote, like the Wahl-O-Mat here in Germany.

Just fiddle with a few parameters and out comes your vote for you. The rest is history.

That there have been cases in which operators have never managed to get the “preferred” party to come out that they actually prefer is another story. They (whoever they are) are still working on the details.

Es soll jedenfalls schon Nutzer gegeben haben, die den Wahl-O-Mat Dutzende Male bedient haben. Und nie die Partei empfohlen bekamen, die sie tatsächlich präferieren.

Scientific Team That Discovered Gravitational Waves Hired By SPD To Discover “Schulz Effect”

March 28, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Martin Schulz, Political Parties, Saarland, Schulz Effect, Science, Social Democracy, SPD 3 Comments

The scientists and engineers who made the first-ever direct detection of gravitational waves are now being asked by Germany’s SPD to provide conclusive evidence that the so-called “Schulz Effect” exists, too.

After miserably failing their first electoral test this past weekend under their new leader, Martin Schulz, some voices in the SPD ITSELF are now questioning whether or not the infamous effect ever even existed in the first place. Much less now.

“Like, where’s the Rindfleisch (beef)?” asked one disgruntled social democrat after his party rolled over and died last Sunday in Saarland. “I was led to believe that this effect was unstoppable and here we are crapping out again, as usual, at the very first opportunity we get. Enough of these affected claims about the effect, comrades. I want some hard scientific evidence. And I want it pronto.”

The rest of Germany could not be reached for comment as it never believed in the “Schulz Effect” in the first place. The scientific team, also unaffected by the effect, will begin it’s groundbreaking work effective immediately.

“SPD-Messias” Schulz in der Falle: Seine einzige Machtoption könnte bei Merkel liegen.

German Of The Day: Multikulti

November 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: AfD, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Political Parties, Politics 2 Comments

That means multiculti, as in multicultural. And this is a word that is suddenly “out” for Angela Merkel’s CDU, for some inexplicable reason.

But to compensate for the loss, Modernisierungsverlierer (modernization losers) is now officially “in” with them. And just in case you were wondering, we are once again moving into election season in Germany and these “losers” are the same ones who have helped parties like the AfD become “winners” in recent years. Sounds vaguely familiar somehow but I can’t seem to put my finger on it at the moment.

Im Entwurf für den Leitantrag, der beim Parteitag Anfang Dezember beschlossen werden soll, sprechen die Christdemokraten ausdrücklich jene Bürger an, “die sich als Modernisierungsverlierer sehen und derzeit noch bei populistischen Parteien von rechts und links ihre Zuflucht suchen”.

Next Brilliant Green Idea Set To Explode In Their Brilliant Green Faces

November 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Language, Political Parties, State Spending, Taxation, Waste Leave a comment

Having years of experience when it comes to introducing ideas that nobody likes and losing votes and power because of it, the German Greens now plan to introduce a “wealth tax” to ensure that they will continue to lose votes in the upcoming 2017 election, as well.

In traditional re-distributive, Robin Hoodlum manner, they announced during their party conference in Wald Nottingheim (Nottingham Forest) that it is time to ask the “super rich,” whoever they might be, for a higher contribution to wasteful state spending and through this thus ensure that countless Mittelstand (middle class) companies in Germany will be disproportionately burdened. This will of course make them more competitive internationally. Not. As in Nottingham.

If industrialized countries, such as the US following Donald Trump’s victory, opted for a national orientation of their economy, German small- and medium-sized businesses would need their reserve funds more than ever before, Kretschmann stressed. The state should not go after these savings.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Political Parties