Tag Archives: Refugees

Losing Isn’t Everything

September 19, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It’s the only thing. If you belong to Angela Merkel’s CDU party these days, that is.

Merkel

But don’t worry. The brainiest ones over at the CDU are putting their heads together at this very moment to figure out were these electoral loses at these recent regional elections are coming from. They’ll figure it out before all too long, I’m sure.

Chancellor Angela Merkel’s party was dealt another blow in a regional election, posting its worst result in Berlin since the end of World War II as the anti-immigration Alternative for Germany extended its challenge to the political establishment by siphoning off voters.

The Social Democrats, Merkel’s junior coalition partner in the national government, won the election for the capital’s state assembly and the chancellor’s Christian Democratic Union finished second. Yet their combined voter share declined by about a quarter, leaving the “grand coalition” of the two biggest parties without a majority to run Germany’s biggest city.

“Sehr bitter.”

Latest Imperial Decree In The Pipeline

September 15, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Much like the repeated (and ignored) calls for “contingents” of refugees to be fairly distributed across the rest of EU Europe, the Empress of Europe (or at the very least of Germany) has now called on German industry to do more about hiring more refugees right here in Germany itself.

Merkel

“Sheesh. We’ve already hired over a hundred (that’s one one and two zeros),” one irritable spokesman for German blue-chip companies lamented. “From the million or two that came into the country last year that’s, well, a pretty good start. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Nor destroyed in a day, for that matter. An empress ought to know this kind of stuff.”

“Given that around 80 percent of asylum seekers are not highly qualified and may not yet have a high level of German proficiency, we have primarily offered jobs that do not require technical skills or a considerable amount of interaction in German.”

At Least These Guys Don’t Go On Vacation At Taxpayers’ Expense

September 13, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Three suspected ISIS operatives arrested at German refugee shelters…

ISIS
The prosecutor’s office said investigations so far suggested the men, aged between 17 and 26, arrived in the country in mid-November 2015 on the orders of Isis, rather than having been recruited in Germany. They were either served with an order to carry out a specific attack or were waiting for further instructions, it said.

The suspects are believed to have sworn allegiance to Isis at the end of September 2015 at the latest, in the Syrian city of Raqqa. They are alleged to have received brief training in weaponry and explosives before pledging to carry out operations and attacks in Europe on behalf of Isis.

The terrorist organisation allegedly arranged passports for them, and gave them four-figure sum bundles of US dollars as well as mobile phones with pre-installed communication programmes.

Anti-Terror-Razzia in Flüchtlingsheimen – GSG9 nimmt drei Syrer fest

Asylum Seekers Go On Vacation In The Land Of Their Persecution

September 12, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, not in Germany. Germany is the place where they get the dough to do that.

Vacation

Then they go back to the land of their persecution to vacation. That’s why they were granted asylum here in the first place. No, not to go on vacation in the land of their persecution. To escape the land of their persecution. Is that so hard to understand? They were being persecuted, see? That’s why they came to Germany. To get the asylum. Then, after they get the dough from the Arbeitsagentur, they go back to the land of their persecution. Or some of them do. But only for a short vacation. That’s allowed or something. Or maybe it isn’t. Hard to say for sure.

Do you get it now? No.  I’m not going to repeat that again. And hell no. Of course I didn’t make any of this up. I don’t have to. Are you persecuting me or something?

Asylberechtigte kehren zu Urlaubszwecken vorübergehend in jenes Land zurück, aus dem sie offiziell geflüchtet sind. Die Bundesagentur für Arbeit bestätigte: „Es gibt solche Fälle.“ Offizielle Erhebungen lägen dazu aber nicht vor.

Just Get Me To The Day Care Center On Time

September 9, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germany’s Central Register of Foreign Nationals published statistics on Friday that raised alarm bells across the country: There are 1,475 children, foreign nationals living in Germany, listed as “married” on their official paperwork. Even more troubling, said the office, was the likelihood that the actual number is much higher…

Child

The most highly represented country of origin was Syria (664). There were also many from Afghanistan (157) and Iraq (100), but also on the list were European countries like Bulgaria (65), Poland (41), Romania (33) and Greece (32).

At least 361 migrants aged under 14 are married in Germany.

Germans Just Not Integrating As Planned

September 7, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Concerned about the huge number of native Germans who are clearly not willing to adapt fast enough to the foreign culture and bizarre new alien ways that hundreds and hundreds of thousands of refugees have brought to their new country, German sociologists are now demanding the introduction of integration courses to help these difficult Germans better assimilate.

Integration

“The motto must be: integration classes for all,” said one sociologist behind this harebrained wackiness I kid you not this is for real, people, I swear. “Integration is not just some snuggle session, you know.”

Integration ist keine Kuschelveranstaltung.

The Migrantania Is Unsinkable

September 5, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

And maiden voyage or not, the captain has vowed to stay on course no matter what. Full speed ahead, too.

Migrantania

Hey, what’s that pointy thing sticking out of the water up there ahead of us?

A day after voters in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s political home state delivered what amounted to a strong rejection of her refugee policy, the German leader acknowledged on Monday that she was “very dissatisfied” with the result but insisted that she would stick with her chosen course.

Big Anti-AfD Mass Rally Held In Berlin

September 4, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Only without the masses. That’s strange. As we all know, or at least told time and time again, the “Alternative for Germany” AfD party is a serious threat to “all those who don’t fit into its view of the world” and must be stopped at all costs or something. So why didn’t anybody show up at the mass rally held against them yesterday in Berlin?

AfD

Maybe those telling as these things (the established parties and the established media outlets) don’t fit into the view of the German voter’s world anymore. Gee. I wonder how the regional election in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania is going to go today?

The event, which was held in Berlin on September 3, managed to only attract 2,500 people, according to police sources. The organizers of the rally had expected around 10,000 demonstrators and said their count was 6,000 attendees.

Germany To Remain Germany

September 1, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Attempting to calm current fears that Germany could possibly turn into France, Mexico or even Lithuania, German Líder Máximo Angela Merkel herself has assured her nervous countrymen that this will most definitely not be happening.

Merkel

Not any time soon, at least. “It is not being actively pursued at the moment,” she elucidated.

These irrational fears came about after the population discovered well over a million foreign residents living next door to them who seem to have suddenly materialized out of nowhere, fueling speculation by some that they could be from one of those three countries. “They don’t speak French very well, though,” said one member of the population when asked. “And nobody is wearing a sombrero. I’ve never been to Lithuania myself so maybe they’re like from there or something.”

“Change is not a bad thing — it is a necessary part of life,”

Burkini Lady Sues

August 15, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

After being harassed at a swimming pool in a place called Bad Saarow in Brandenburg. All bads sarrow* on whether she’ll be getting legal satisfaction or not. And no, it wasn’t an itsy bitsy teenie weenie burkini kind of burkini she was wearing. That’s the whole problem, I guess.

Burkini

And speaking of teenies (just barely)… Are the hundreds (thousands?) of child brides in Germany going to sue next? To not have to be forced to go through with these ordeals, I mean? Stupid question. They’re way too young to be allowed to do that.

An anonymous teacher told newspaper Welt am Sonntag that young girls often suddenly stop showing up to school after getting married.

In Deutschland verschwinden immer öfter Mädchen aus der Schule, weil sie verheiratet wurden. Der Kinderschutzbund fordert, das Ehealter grundsätzlich auf 18 Jahre festzulegen – ohne Ausnahmen.

* Bets are off. Get it?