That means severely disabled. You know, like 10 percent of the German population?
Huh? I know what you’re thinking, but it’s true. No, I’m not thinking it’s just another big scam (I know it is). I’m thinking how could it only be just 10 percent?
Schwerbehindert sind laut Statistik Menschen, denen die Versorgungsämter einen Grad der Behinderung von mindestens 50 Prozent zuerkennen und die einen gültigen Ausweis haben.
Of the tens of thousands of migrant men in Germany to be deported from the country, that is.
A secret report by interior ministers of all of Germany’s 16 states says tens of thousands of migrants scheduled to be flown to their homelands in the past few months are still in the country being cared for by taxpayers. The problem centres on incomplete paperwork, migrants lying about where they come from and the country’s own medical profession…
The medical scams to avoid being flown home in particular have enraged interior minister Thomas de Maziere who says: It simply cannot be the case that 70 percent of men under 40 are suddenly pronounced sick and unable to fly.
Oh no. Not this lady again.
The latest greatest medical insurance study is out and it is like so totally full of it that I feel like running off to my Arzt (doctor) right this minute to get krankgeschrieben (written up sick) only he’s closed now, of course, which is probably for the best.
Anyway, this study claims that one out of three Berliners is mentally ill! One out of three? Can you believe that bullshit? Anybody who lives here knows that it’s two-thirds easy.
In Berlin waren mehr als 34 Prozent und in Brandenburg knapp 29 Prozent der erwerbstätigen Versicherten im Jahr 2012 von einer psychischen Erkrankung betroffen. Auch die Zahl der Krankschreibungen wegen Depressionen und anderer psychischer Leiden war in Berlin weitaus höher als im Bundesdurchschnitt.
The latest study only confirms what many of us have suspected all along: Very, very, very many of those hard-working, dedicated and self-sacrificing German teachers everywhere out there (German teachers, not teachers of German) just can’t take it anymore.
Thirty percent (30) suffer from “burnout” and exhaustion and, although certainly none of them would want to openly suggest such a shameful thing, it is obvious to most of those many of us that they may all have to seriously consider going on early retirement. Earlier than the normal early retirement German teachers usually go on, I mean. Early early retirement, so-to-speak.
By the way… Burnout is not a recognized disorder in the DSM although it is recognized in the ICD-10[2] and specified as a “State of vital exhaustion” (Z73.0) under “Problems related to life-management difficulty” (Z73), but not considered a “disorder.”
30 Prozent der Lehrer und Erzieher leiden unter Burn-out und Erschöpfung, die Zahl der Krankheitstage hat sich verdoppelt.
Ein Frührentner (an early retiree). Please laugh, but please also be assured that I personally know a German teenager who actually answered this question this way and was NOT joking.
And this really shouldn’t come as a surprise in a country where, according to the latest poll, 53 percent of the employed don’t plan to work past the age of 63 and barely one third of them expect to work until the “official” reitrement age of 65. Or is it 67 now? Wait, or is it 63 doch (after all)?
At any rate, whatever the official German retirement age may be, rest assured that it will not be the age at which the majority of Germans will be retiring.
Ein knappes Drittel will dagegen bis zum regulären Renteneintrittsalter weiterarbeiten.
Two years after the Fukushima nuclear disaster, Japan is making a big push to win back German tourists, who are still avoiding the country because of concerns over radiation. Visitor numbers from Germany, the world’s biggest spenders on foreign holidays in 2011, fell 35 percent between 2010 and 2011, and in 2012 did not recover as much as other markets, officials said in Frankfurt on Thursday.
It’s like this, folks: The level of radiation occurring naturally in Japan is much lower than that of Germany. The levels of naturally occurring radiation PLUS the radiation resulting from the accident at Fukushima are still within the range considered average for Germany.
None of this matters, of course. Hysteria bleibt (stays) hysteria.
Even at the dentist, Germans are often skeptical about the effects of x-rays and require reassurance over radiation levels.
PS: Speaking of hypochondria (sort of), Berliner Beamte (civil servants with disgustingly cushy benefits), police mostly, are off sick two months a year – on average.
We’re artists. So give us your, I mean our money.
This is what Germans get for a billion euros of arts subsidies each and every year. Jiminy Crickets. I don’t even want to think about what they’d be getting for less.
Please, Berlin. For the love of all that is holy freakin’ cow. Keep those subsidies coming.
“Der Kulturinfarkt: Von allem zu viel und überall das Gleiche.”
We were just kidding.
No, seriously. Something called the Montreal Protocol just saved the world as we know it from most certain destruction, bringing about a “healing of the ozone layer” and thus reducing our exposure to harmful UV rays from the sun which was being caused by, well, refrigerators and aerosol spray cans. Just like that. Almost as if by magic or something.
A German research institute has even confirmed this wonderful news, so you can bet that it’s for real (Germans are very thorough, you know). And said German research institute, like all those other research institutes out there, is being completely objective here and has in no way profited from the research funds given it to research said ozone hole phenomena and only böse Zungen (malicious tongues) would suggest otherwise.
The underlying message here: To rid the world of all manner of unpleasantness and harmful gas, both hot and cold, all we need are more protocols (like Montreal or Kyoto, say), and not less. Or fewer, I mean. And more funding, of course.
“The results are encouraging. The fact that the ozone layer in the regions researched has become thicker is a result of the successful Montreal Protocol.”
Word has clearly gotten out now. What used to be a Geheimtipp (insiders’ tip) has now become a full-fledged and nationally recognized Volkssport (national sport): Early retirement due to mental illness.
Up some 6,000 from the previous year, more and more Germans (71,000) are now being “forced” to retire early each and every year because they suffer from things like anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, multiple generalized anxiety disorder, mega ultra super mulitple generalized really really bad anxiety disorder and other such imaginary diseases.
In fact, being mental is now the number one main excuse used to have to go into “involuntary retirement” in Germany, with the average age of these hapless victims being 48, by the way.
Fear industry profiteers, I mean experts, are happy to report that the increased number of diagnosed cases is due to a greater willingness of sufferers to openly admit their problems, although none of these experts are able or willing to explain where this sudden willingness comes from.
Über das Thema werde jetzt “offener geredet und deshalb diagnostizieren Ärzte jetzt eher psychische Ursachen von Leiden.”
Observing Hermann 