Germans Upset About 5 Million Illegal Immigrants In US-Amerika

That those bad Republicans could stop El Presidente from sparing them from deportation and thus not let them get their work permits, I mean.

Asylum

Meanwhile…44% of Germans surveyed resent having a small number of LEGAL asylum seekers in their country and want them to get the hell out.

No Widerspruch (contradiction) here, folks.

Mehr als 40 Prozent sind der Ansicht, die meisten Asylbewerber würden in ihrer Heimat gar nicht verfolgt, 44 Prozent treten Asylbewerbern mit abwertender Haltung entgegen. Vorurteile sind dabei wie auch in allen anderen Bereichen gruppenbezogener Menschenfeindlichkeit in den ostdeutschen Bundesländern stärker verbreitet: Dort begegnen sogar mehr als die Hälfte (52 Prozent) der Einwohner Asylbewerbern mit negativen Vorurteilen.

Germany Best Brand Ever!

I mean nation. Sorry, Germans. I mean country.

Best

Germany knocks USA off Best Nation top spot after 5 years

At least according to something called the Anholt-GfK Roper Nation Brands Index, that is.

Hmmm. I smell a Ratte (rat). GfK stands for Gesellschaft für Konsumforschung (Society for Consumer Research) and is on organization located in a city called Nuremberg. In the best little country in the whole wide cotton-pickin’ world. Jiminy Crickets. Talk about your conflict of Interesse (interest).

A Third Of The World Wants To Work In Germany?

That’s strange because 56 percent of Germans would prefer to work abroad (and 35 percent of those would like to work in the United States).

Jobs

Germany is the number one non-English speaking destination for migrant workers, according to a global study. It ranked as the fourth most popular place to work abroad globally, after the US, UK and Canada respectively. One third of the 200,000 respondents surveyed said they’d like to move to the country.

“German jobseekers don’t necessarily associate going abroad with getting a better job offer or more money. Germans are much more likely than workers elsewhere to say that interesting job content and challenging work assignments are important to them.”

Der Büroschlaf Ist Immer Noch Am Gesündesten

Sleep at the office is still the healthiest. But not even that is enough to keep us top fit these days, it seems.

Sleep

A shocking new study reveals that none of us are getting nearly enough sleep and that this is eventually going to make us go all demented and stuff if we aren’t all demented and stuff already. Before it kills us, I mean.

It appears that this stressful information society we live in is causing us to sleep one and a half hours less then we used to back in the 1960s because, well, I dunno, we have to process sleep data fun facts like this, for instance. We are suffering from permanent sleep deprivation, these experts tell us. All of us. So wake up and go back to sleep already.

„In unserer Informationsgesellschaft schlafen wir ein bis eineinhalb Stunden kürzer als noch in den 1960er Jahren. Wir haben relativen Schlafentzug – alle.“

Germans Aren’t Scaredy-Cats

They’re Fear Rabbits (Angsthasen).

Angst

And what’s the number one angst in Germany these days? Ukraine? Ebola? Nope. Money. Money, the environment and health, in that order.

“The majority of Germans are afraid the Eurozone crisis will hit tax payers hard and that the cost of living is rising.”

Im westlichen Kokon scheint der Blick gelegentlich getrübt – ein wenig mehr Realismus könnte den Deutschen nicht schaden.

Last Place Again!

The same procedure as last year. The same procedure as every year?

Last Place

The latest education study indicates that when it comes to the 16 German Bundesländer (states) and their school systems, Berlin schools come in 16th again. The states that seem to have their stuff together are Saxony, Thuringia (both in the Evil East!), Bavaria and Baden-Wuerttemberg.

We’re poor but sexy. So we don’t need no education.

Die Hauptstadt erreichte bei dem Vergleich der Bildungssysteme der Bundesländer des arbeitgebernahen Instituts der deutschen Wirtschaft (IW) insgesamt wie im Vorjahr Rang 16.

Half Of All Germans Too Fat?

And here you thought that Americans were too fat. And they are.

Fat

Ah… screw it. Let’s go out today (Happy Vatertag, Männer) and refocus our thoughts on something more positive and drink a swimming pool of beer! Yee-haw!

Fast ein Drittel der Weltbevölkerung ist übergewichtig oder fettleibig.

Same procedure as every year, men.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aokhLhZqXBc

OMG! 27% Of Germans Hold Anti-Semitic Views!

Damn. That’s getting dangerously close to the Austrian (28%), Spanish (29%), French (37%) and Greek (69%) levels.

Jews

The highest level of anti-Semitism was found in the Palestinian territories of West Bank and Gaza at 93 per cent.

“Our findings are sobering but sadly not surprising.”

Internet Making Germans Dumber

It’s called “Digitale Demenz” (Digital Dementia) or something.

“Avoid digital media,” one smart German is warning his countrymen. “As shown here many times over, they truly do make us fat, dumb, aggressive, lonely, sick and unhappy.”

Nice try, buddy. But what you’ve failed to consider here (being a German yourelf), is that Germans don’t need any help from anybody or anything at any time when it comes to being aggressive, lonely, sick and unhappy. They’re naturals at it. As for the Internet making them fat and dumb, well, OK. If you say so.

The strange thing though is that everywhere else on Planet Earth it appears as if the Internet is actually making us smarter. Whatever. I guess maybe that’s how it is with Deutsche Sonderwege (German separate paths), it’s the exception that always proves the rule.

Such findings refute the claims of those who warn that humanity is getting dumber. We’re “amusing ourselves to death,” American media theorist and critic Neil Postman argued in a 1985 book of the same name. Postman blamed television for a decline in cognitive skills. Since then, however, the average IQ in the US has risen by nearly 10 points.

Citizens Of Düsseldorf Least Miserable Germans This Year

At least according to this year’s Glücksatlas (Happiness Atlas) they are. Oh boy and good for them or something.

But why they don’t just come out and call the damned thing the Misery Atlas, I’ll never know.

Am zufriedensten sind die Deutschen in den Regionen Hamburg (7,23 Punkte), Niedersachsen/Nordsee (7,16), Süd-Bayern (7,11) und Franken (7,10). Auf den letzten Plätzen rangieren Brandenburg (6,63), Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (6,58) und Sachsen-Anhalt (6,56).