Category Archives: Hard Facts

Just Get Me To The Day Care Center On Time

September 9, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germany’s Central Register of Foreign Nationals published statistics on Friday that raised alarm bells across the country: There are 1,475 children, foreign nationals living in Germany, listed as “married” on their official paperwork. Even more troubling, said the office, was the likelihood that the actual number is much higher…

Child

The most highly represented country of origin was Syria (664). There were also many from Afghanistan (157) and Iraq (100), but also on the list were European countries like Bulgaria (65), Poland (41), Romania (33) and Greece (32).

At least 361 migrants aged under 14 are married in Germany.

Sensational Survey Shocker: Germans Pessimistic About The Future

September 8, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Holy freakin’ Scheiße. Talk about coming out of left field.

Germans

A survey by the Allensbach Opinion Research Center has just discovered that Germans living in comfortable circumstances and aged between 39 and 59 are – now get this – really pessimistic about the future.

Boy oh boy do I ever hope that they (whoever they are) paid these opinion research center people one big pile of money because you can be absolutely certain that absolutely no one over here saw that one coming.*

Schwindender Optimismus, Sorge und Ängste trotz guter persönlicher Lebenslage und wirtschaftlicher Situation? Die Mehrheit der Deutschen zwischen 30 und 59 Jahren ist laut Analyse des Meinungsforschungsinstitutes Allensbach zwar materiell zufrieden, blickt dennoch eher pessimistisch in die Zukunft.

* I would have given them that data for half of whatever it was they paid them. I’m just sayin’.

The Migrantania Is Unsinkable

September 5, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

And maiden voyage or not, the captain has vowed to stay on course no matter what. Full speed ahead, too.

Migrantania

Hey, what’s that pointy thing sticking out of the water up there ahead of us?

A day after voters in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s political home state delivered what amounted to a strong rejection of her refugee policy, the German leader acknowledged on Monday that she was “very dissatisfied” with the result but insisted that she would stick with her chosen course.

Big Anti-AfD Mass Rally Held In Berlin

September 4, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Only without the masses. That’s strange. As we all know, or at least told time and time again, the “Alternative for Germany” AfD party is a serious threat to “all those who don’t fit into its view of the world” and must be stopped at all costs or something. So why didn’t anybody show up at the mass rally held against them yesterday in Berlin?

AfD

Maybe those telling as these things (the established parties and the established media outlets) don’t fit into the view of the German voter’s world anymore. Gee. I wonder how the regional election in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania is going to go today?

The event, which was held in Berlin on September 3, managed to only attract 2,500 people, according to police sources. The organizers of the rally had expected around 10,000 demonstrators and said their count was 6,000 attendees.

Working Germans Totally Inefficient These Days

September 2, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Whereas the number of working Germans who put in a 48-hour workweek back in 1995 was 1.3 million, some 1.7 48-hour workweek Germans are needed today to get the same amount of work done. Or so I assume…

Working

Was für Luschen. What a bunch of duds.

Während 1995 etwa sechs Millionen Beschäftigte regelmäßig am Samstag oder Sonntag gearbeitet haben, waren es im vergangenen Jahr bereits 8,8 Millionen und damit jeder vierte Beschäftigte.

The Dirty Dozen

August 30, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The German army is shrinking fast. After a recent purge of right-wing extremists, left-wing extremists and now Islamists, the number of able combat soldiers the Bundeswehr keeps on hand to never actually use has dropped to a dangerously low level indeed. Below is a picture of the entire remaining German army in non-action.

Army

“This has gone far enough already,” said one disgruntled spokesman for the pitifully anemic somewhat military-like force. “If they ever make us kick out the common criminals and other unsavory types we won’t have anyone left to not go to war with at all.”

More than 60 Islamists are suspected of sneaking into the ranks of the Germany army to undergo military training and carry out attacks in the country, it has been reported.

Failed City-State

August 29, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Take your pick it’s both.

Poor

Other than “poverty, unemployment, poor infrastructure, a floundering education system, debt, the refugee crisis and crime,” and a dozen or two other things nobody wants to address right now, Berlin is a great place to live.

Jeder fünfte Berliner ist einem Zeitungsbericht zufolge arm und verfügt monatlich höchstens über 841 Euro.

What Germans Do In Their Free Time?

August 25, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Free time

One popular thing these days is stockpiling food.

Arming themselves is another favorite pastime at the moment, too.

Losing confidence in the future is also big. But that’s always among the the top ten German free time activities anyway so, well, let’s move on (yeah, to the future).

Once they’re done with those they also enjoy window surfing (put that towel down first!), having fights about opening and closing windows and shaking their heads in disgust.

In surveys over the past 25 years, watching TV has been the unchallenged most popular pastime of the Germans. Through the introduction of TV sets in households in 1984, television consumption has continuously increased. This year, 97 percent of those polled by the “Hamburger Stiftung für Zukunftsfragen” said they watch the tube at least once a week – and that it is their favorite leisure activity.

Germans Demand Loyalty From Turks They Don’t Want

August 23, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

“When it comes to the Turkish community living in Germany for a long time, we expect them to develop a high degree of loyalty to our country,” said Chancellor Angela Merkel to representatives of the German Turkish community living in Germany for a long time.

Turks

“It’s not like we’re ever going to gladly grant you citizenship or warmly welcome you here after you’ve been like already living here for a generation or two or three or who the hell knows how long, we just think that it would be the right thing for you to do right now,” she said after that (not).

“But we are willing to listen to their concerns, and to try to understand them.”

German Men Practically As Good As German Women

August 21, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

When it comes to Olympic soccer gold, I mean.

Soccer

Neymar scored the deciding spot kick in a riveting penalty shootout to give Brazil its first Olympic championship in men’s soccer at the Rio Games on Saturday. The host nation won the shootout 5-4 after goalkeeper Weverton blocked Nils Petersen’s fifth-round penalty to keep it at 4-4.