How Could He Have Said That?

June 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Civil Courage, German, Germans, Germany, Joachim Gauck, Political correctness, Politically Incorrect, The Bundeswehr, The Military Leave a comment

Boy oh boy, German President Joachim Gauck is in hot water with the German Left now. Bless his heart.

During a visit to something called the Leadership Academy for the Bundeswehr in Hamburg, he had the gall to demand “more openness” when it comes to Bundeswehr operations abroad.

He then had the nerve to say that there are once again German fallen (as in the soldier kind) no longer amoung us “who are hard to handle for those living in our pleasure-addicted society.”

And then he even had the chutzpah to say that violence can be “necessary and sensible when used to prevent violence itself.”

Needless to say, German lefties of all 57 varieties are now having a collective cow and lecturing him and the rest of us (I mean you) about how irresponsible such utterances can and must be whenever they come out of a German mouth. The same old same old, in other words.

You just can’t say stuff like this in Germany. It’s verboten. It’s taboo. And this guy says it anyway. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a President I like.

Schäfer nannte Gaucks “Äußerungen, um Opfer zu rechtfertigen, völlig falsch und fatal.”

Genetically-Unmodified Germans Still Opposed To Genetically-Modified Foods

June 11, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Agriculture, Berlin, Food, Genetic Engineering, Genetically-Modified Food, German, Germans, Germany, GM Crops, Humor, Hunger, Progress, Satire, Science 1 Comment

Who cares if genetically-modified crops are now making up a large proportion of harvests in North and South America?

Germans aren’t buying any of this dangerous, hi-tech agro-terror crop, I mean crap because, well, genetically-modified crops are now making up a large proportion of harvests in North and South America (the key word here is North).

After all, any German you ask will tell you that the effect of consuming GM crops is unknown. Other than becoming hungry if you don’t eat them maybe, which is also unknown here. And this only backs up their argument, I think, sort of.

Nach den Plänen der EU-Kommission sollen die weniger strengen Gentechnik-Regelungen für Futtermittel auf Lebensmittel übertragen werden.

Be Bold, Bitte

June 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Angela Merkel, Berlin, Economics, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, The Economist, The Euro, The Euro Zone 1 Comment

The Economist writes: If the euro collapses, then Germany will suffer hugely.

The downgrading of some of its banks this week was a portent of that. Moreover, the undoubted mistakes in Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Italy, Spain and the other debtor countries have been compounded over the past three years by errors in Europe’s creditor countries. The overwhelming focus on austerity; the succession of half-baked rescue plans; the refusal to lay out a clear path for the fiscal and banking integration that is needed for the single currency to survive: these too are reasons why the euro is so close to catastrophe. And since Germany has largely determined this response, most of the blame belongs in Berlin.

Throughout this crisis, Mrs Merkel has refused to come up with a plan bold enough to stun the markets into submission, in the same way that America’s TARP programme did. In short, even if her strategy has paid some dividends, its cost has been ruinous and it has run its course.

Mark Your Calendars And Place Your Bets

June 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Communism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Idealism, Naivete, Political Parties, Satire, Socialism, The Innocent 2 Comments

I had no idea Auflösungserscheinungen (signs of disintegration) could occur this quickly with “progressive” political parties, not even in Germany. But disintegrating they are, two of them, right before our very eyes.

Let’s make a bet:

In three years at the latest, the Left Party will have completely lost whatever very, very little relevance they are said to have once had (still have?).

In two years time, no one will be reporting about the Pirate Party at all anymore. Not even Der Spiegel.

If I lose the bet, I’ll admit that I was wrong and you can buy me a cup of coffee. If I’m right, I won’t have to admit I was wrong and you can still buy me the cup of coffee.

“Ich bin müde, ausgepowert, erschöpft.”

PS: Little Big Man Oskar Lafontaine just shot himself in the foot for the last time (I hope) and the Left Party is now mutating back to roll over and die on either side of its natural East-West divide, with the Communists of the East literally dying off like flies and the Möchtegern (wannabe) Communists of the West having lost interest and now wandering off for the latest next great cause (see Pirate Party). The Pirate Party has already long reached its fraternity house gag zenith and just will not function, “transparancy” or not, because it refuses to develop a platform more suitable for the inhabitants of Planet Earth, much less a structure of any kind, and the people supposedly running the show throw in the towels quicker than they can learn how to use them (they don’t bathe regulary, get it?). That guy up there (and the guy right after him) quite from exhaustion after a couple of days of something that used to be called “work,” just like that.

I wish I could make stuff like this up but I can’t.

Privacy Concern Has Its Price

May 31, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Data Privacy, Data Protection, Fines, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Legislation, Paranoia, Privacy, Satire, The EU, The EU-Zone Leave a comment

And in this case it will be about 300,000 euros per day.

European authorities have taken Germany to court for failing to implement the E.U. Data Retention Directive.

The European Commission announced on Thursday that it wants the European Court of Justice to impose a fine of just over €315,000 (US$391,866) a day.

The Data Retention Directive requires telephone companies and ISPs to store huge amounts of telecommunications information, including data about email, phone calls and text messages, for law enforcement purposes.

So much for Germany being the Musterschüler (model student) in all things EU. Germans don’t like this law because they live in a POLICE STATE or something (albeit one that’s all in their minds). It’s not that Germans don’t trust their fellow Germans or anything, you see, it’s just that they don’t trust their fellow Germans.

Hey, they should know. Where there’s smoke there’s fire and all that? I guess I’d pay up, too.

Weil Berlin geltendes EU-Gesetz über die Vorratsdatenspeicherung nicht in nationales Recht übertragen hat, hat die EU-Kommission Deutschland vor dem Europäischen Gerichtshof verklagt.

Germany Not Considering Military Options Again

May 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Assad, Berlin, France, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military Intervention, Pacifism, Satire, Syria, Weapon exports, Weapons 3 Comments

Just in case you were wondering, I mean (this time they’re not considering them for Syria).

Not like anybody would ever expect them to consider otherwise. I mean, is the Pope a Catholic? Do chickens use fowl language? Do vacuum cleaners suck?

Germans never consider military options, even when they maybe ought to. Unless it’s an Angriffskrieg (war of aggression), I mean. And that’s been a while. It’s just what they (don’t) do. They don’t use weapons, people. They just, you know, sell them.

“We want to avoid a wildfire in the region.”

What’s 20 (30? 40?) Billion Euros These Days?

May 29, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, CO2, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, Solar energy, The Energy Turnaround, The Green Shirts, Wind Energy 1 Comment

It’s peanuts, man. Renewable peanuts.

Damn. This gives power madness a whole new meaning.

Germany mapped out a 20 billion euro ($25 billion) plan on Tuesday to expand its power grid and avoid a “power gap” as Europe’s largest economy switches away from nuclear to renewable energy.

Germany’s government, the federal energy network regulator and transmission grid firms unveiled joint plans for thousands of kilometres of new electricity lines to 2022, to help distribute volatile renewable energy.

Operators say some 3,800 kilometers of new power lines needed through 2022.

Heretics Verboten!

May 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Currency, Dogma, Economics, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Guilt, Orhodoxy, Religion, The Euro, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, Thilo Sarrazin Leave a comment

Europe Doesn’t Need the Euro? Another religious tract to study on Sundays.

All of this is kind of like religion, don’t you think? First you’ve got some prophets who come out of the wilderness (the political class preaching the virtues of the euro, come hell or high water), then what they say gets labeled as heresy by the faithful (by the “man on the street” who wants to keep his deutschmark), then the euro faith overcomes this persecution, establishes itself as the true universal teaching and becomes orthodoxy. Then the next voice out of the wilderness comes along and the game starts all over again, etcetera and so forth already.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t beleive that Thilo Sarrazin is a full-fledged prophet or anything (I just think he wants to make a buck, I mean euro). But he’s not a full-fledged heretic, either. And that’s something the euro high priests could never admit to.

The euro, in Sarrazin’s view, is just the old German deutschmark extended to a lot of countries with less robust currencies.

Germany, in other words, is being used as a guarantor of other countries’ debts.

“The German political class bet that the political union would follow shortly thereafter almost as a matter of natural law, because without that the common currency wouldn’t be stable. That bet has failed.”

Germans are hostage to their sense of not wanting to be responsible for Europe’s failure.

Germans are hostage to their sense of historical guilt.

“Pro-euro Germans are driven by that very German reflex, that we can only finally atone for the Holocaust and World War II when we have put all our interests and money into European hands.”

“Angela Merkel to like the friendly woman on the navigation system in my car.”

If It Wasn’t For Schadenfreude I Wouldn’t Have No Freude At All

May 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Attitude, Bad Attitude, German, Germans, Germany, Grumpiness, Happiness, Humor, Joy, Negativity, Psychology, Relaxation, Satire, Surveys 4 Comments

This just in: The German joy gene is broken. Holy freakin’ Makrele (mackerel)! Who would have ever thought that?

But here we have it. The latest German joy gene task force survey says: 46 percent of Germans reveal that they are increasingly unable to enjoy anything, 55 percent of younger Germans even claim to feel they have lost their ability to feel good at all and 81 percent of those surveyed said that the only time they experience pleasure is when they have managed to “achieve something” first. You know, like when “a motorcyclist reported experiencing delight when he blew exhaust fumes in the direction of a convertible driver as he accelerated at a green light.”

Wow. I would have never thought that Germans were self-denying overachievers completely incapable of enjoying themselves (unless it’s schadenfreude) and weighed down by their penchant for perfectionism and their inability to relax, you?

Meanwhile, chances to create a sense of well-being lurk everywhere — a glass of wine, a relaxing bubble bath, or a nice restaurant with delicious food. These, of all things, also rankle the Germans. “This glut of offerings pressures people into thinking, ‘I must enjoy everything’.”

Energy Revolution Not Taking Place Quite Yet

May 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Ideology, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, Technology, The Green Shirts 2 Comments

German energy turnaround revolutionaries everywhere are turning around more than usual these days, burning more energy than planned trying to answer all the dumb questions those dumb energy reactionaries are always asking them.

Dumb questions like:
How come the energy turnaround isn’t making any progress?
How come the taxpayers continue to foot the bill?
How come all these renewable energy companies are going broke now that the subsidies are being cut?
How come made in Germany renewable energy technology is now being made in China these days (and German subsidies are actually helping the Chinese)?
How come Germany isn’t in the position to create the power-transmission lines needed to connect these new energy sources to the German power grid?
How come the energy-storage facilities needed for these new technologies are so extremely expensive and, well, just aren’t being built?
How was that again? How come Germany is in the process of turning off all its nuclear power plants?
How come the construction of dozens of new coal-burning power plants will therefore be necessary?

And how could ideology get the upper hand on reality (yet again) in a nation full of such sober, experienced thinkers?

And on and on and on these dumb questioners go. These reactionary types just don’t get it, you see. They don’t have visions like us revolutionary folks do. And they don’t hear the voices, either.

Germany Stalled on the Expressway to a Green Future

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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