A Blaze Of Glory

Looks like you’re toast now, Hertha BSC.

Your relegation playoff defeat at Fortuna Düsseldorf took you out of the big league, yet again.

Although the match go so ugly at times…

That Hertha is now appealing against the result and is requesting a replay, which may or may not be granted.

But if they do get the replay, at least they’ll get the chance to lose fair and square on their own, without any of that pesky soccer fan interference stuff.

“It is written in the rules: if there is an outside influence, which has nothing to do with the game, then the match must be replayed.”

Now That’s What I Call Starting Off With A Bang

A presidential jet carrying newly inaugurated French President Francois Hollande was hit by lightning en route to Berlin and forced to turn back to Paris, but the Socialist was unharmed and took off again in another plane, a presidential source said.

Damn. This Hollande guy is definitely more flashy than his predecessor Sarkozy was. When it comes to lightning, I mean.

Blitzschlag hin oder her. Angela Merkel empfing den französischen Präsidenten im Kanzleramt per Handschlag.

PS: Is there a metaphor here or something?

We Still Love Him Because…

Well, let us count the ways. We know, because his hands are tied (and his fingers are pointing?) and he would do better if he could but he can’t so he won’t.

President Obama just can’t turn out to be an ineffective loser. No he can’t. We are the world and we won’t accept it. We elected him, after all. Along with America too, of course.

Here are a few of this article’s lowlights:

In Europe, where more than 200,000 people thronged a Berlin rally in 2008 to hear Barack Obama speak, there’s disappointment that he hasn’t kept his promise to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay, and perceptions that he’s shunting blame for the financial crisis across the Atlantic.

In a world weary of war and economic crises, and concerned about global climate change, the consensus is that Obama has not lived up to the lofty expectations that surrounded his 2008 election and Nobel Peace Prize a year later.

But many Germans give Obama too much of the blame because they don’t understand the limits of his powers. “There’s a lack of understanding both of how the system of checks and balances works — or doesn’t work any longer — and a lack of understanding of how big the socio-economic problems in the United States are, which cause the gridlock.”

“I think people see through his game to put the blame (for the financial crisis) on Europeans — I think Germans and Europeans still know where the economic crisis had its beginning,” Braml said. “That’s just finger-pointing, not doing a fair analysis of the dire situation in the U.S., but I can understand Obama is doing that because he wants to get re-elected so they need to shift blame around on the Republicans or the Europeans.”

And elsewhere:

“When Democrats, including Obama, are in power, we lose the sympathy and support from America,” said Carawan Ahmed, a high school teacher in Iraq’s northern Kurdish capital of Irbil. “To be frank, the Republicans protected the Kurdish people, while Obama’s administration is not.”

Obama has been the U.S. president “least involved in the Palestinian issue,” said Mohammed Ishtayeh, an aide to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. Since Obama made his Cairo speech, Ishtayeh added, “he found his hands tied and couldn’t make much progress.”

Obama also has a strained relationship with Israel. Obama’s Mideast envoy, former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell, made no progress during two years of frequent meetings with both sides before quitting last year.

Many in Asia, Africa, the Middle East and Latin America were also taken aback by his support for gay marriage, a taboo subject among religious conservatives.

And on and on it goes. But the main thing is that the world still loves him because, well, he means well. And he has so much promise, or something.

Germans Now Lecturing Americans About Religion

Or at least I think that’s what they’re doing here. Or maybe they’re just lecturing us about mandatory healthcare insurance, which clearly seems to have some religious significance in Germany.

I mean, we all know how Germans are famous for being so religious and all, but I had no idea that they had begun spreading their evangelical zeal to Obamacare, of all things. But spread they have and we should take their prosthelising in earnest (they certainly do).

Why just take a look at some of the deeper observations to be found within this religious tract, I mean Spiegel article:

In Germany, people are baffled by how hostile a country as religious as the United States can be to the principle of mandatory healthcare insurance.

The US comes across to not only Germans, but to many Europeans, as a religious country. Don’t religious Americans love their neighbors?

“For me the US is a very religious country. It doesn’t matter which religion I look at — love thy neighbor is a very, very important point in religion.”

For her, the apparent deep religiousness of many Americans doesn’t jibe with their unwillingness to be part of a healthcare community.

Well there we have it. Sin and transgression everywhere you look. The devil has entered our US-Amerikan house and will divide and fall it. All because, well, I’m not really sure why. But I think it might be because we as Americans don’t worship mandatory healthcare insurance like other folks do. Amen.

Thanks, Germany. We’ll come to see the light yet. You just wait and see.

Germans Can’t Fathom US Aversion to Obama’s Healthcare Reform

What’s One More Delay For The BBA?

The Berlin Brandenburg Airport, I mean. Or isn’t it the Berlin Brandenburg Willy Brandt Airport?

Or does it stand for But Berlin Went Broke Already? Better not Bother With Booking Ahead?

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit said the delay will cost money but declined to put a price tag on it.

I Don’t Know Weather To Believe This Or Not

“This is how the weather will be in Germany until 2100?”

I’d be happy if they could just get the weather report for tomorrow right once in awhile.

“In the future, climate change will hold ready for Germany more sun and severe storms in the summer and intense rainfall in mild winters.”

„Ein einzelnes zu kühles Jahr sagt nichts über Trends aus.“

Ex-Pirate Girl Treated Like Sex Object By Pirate Boys For Some Reason

She’s tired. She’s tired of being admired.

Just after walking the German Pirate Party plank due to exhaustion, ex-Pirate political manager Marina Weisband dropped the boom on her mobbing male marauders by outing them as being just as chauvanistic and sexist as male types everywhere else are, political or otherwise. Why who would have thought that? You sweet little…

Sie habe sich nie als “Star der Piraten” gesehen, sondern als “von den Medien gehypte Person.”

We Are Still A Popular Front Of The Confused And Mutually Contradictory Yet United In Our Unremitting Rage (We Think)

None of this was meant to be satirical, I believe, but I had to read it three times to be sure, sort of.

Here are few of the more hilarious tidbits:

The Occupy movement got off to a great start last fall, but living in a tent camp seemed less attractive during the Northern European winter.

“People have to see that the hibernation period is over.”

The loose-knit group still needs to figure out what it actually stands for.

A Roma family also moved in recently.

“This will be big. The issue is democracy. There are events planned around the world. We need a truck.”

As an economist and Marxist, she has ideas.

The activists are brainstorming what else they can do to make a big splash. “Maybe some sort of choreography. Can we do that?”

It will give all the people who took to the streets in 2011 to protest against financial capitalism and the political establishment, occupying public squares from Madrid to Athens to Frankfurt, the chance to show that they are still furious and prepared to stage a rebellion.

Some want to eliminate capitalism altogether, while others just want to make it more human.

Castro is still “a great visionary,” she said.

Now that even business owners, managers and bankers are becoming disenchanted with capitalism, the chorus of voices opposed to the “system” is louder and more diverse than ever before.

Will they find new answers, possibly even a new political idea?

“We don’t believe in a humane form of capitalism.”

The activists feel that the Greeks are being put under too much pressure because of their government’s austerity plans, and so they decide to dance the sirtaki.

He is about to meet with people who, like him, still feel something of the original euphoria.

Those who expect more after only a few months haven’t understood the Occupy principle. They need more time.

WaWe 10, Where Are You?

Car 54 couldn’t make it. Man oh man. I want to see this puppy in action sooo bad.

It’s the Berlin Police Department’s brand-new water canon monster WaWe (as in Wasserwerfer) 10, specifically designed to stop those pesky May Day riots in a jiffy, without undue harm to the protesters (and hopefully washing them thoroughly in the process, as well).

But as fate would have it, this year’s anniversary festivities look like they’re going to be pretty lame after all. Kids these days. Who knows, though. Maybe something will ignite that smoldering fuse of indignation in an hour or two once the sun starts setting and WaWe 10 will get its chance to roll out into action after all, all magestic and Robocop-like. And wet. Sexy, isn’t she?

Does anybody out there know if there’s a riot-cam thingy I could link to just in case this party ever does get started?

Die für den Nahbereich gedachte “Wasserwand” soll Protestler nur nass machen und zum Gehen bewegen, ohne zu verletzen.

PS: Thanks, andBerlin! Maybe this link will do the trick.