Nobody Escapes From A German Jail

Because nobody wants to.

Jail

It’s like a nice hotel stay and they’ll kick you out long before your sentence is over anyway. We’ll be hearing from this guy soon again, I’m sure.

Medellín cartel co-founder transferred to Germany after prison sentence – Carlos Lehder Rivas ran Medellín cartel alongside Pablo Escobar that smuggled cocaine worth billions to the US in 1970s and 80s.

German Of The Day: Säumig

That means delinquent.

Trump

You know, as in Donald Trump accusing Germany of being “delinquent” in its payments to Nato, and saying he would stick with the plan unless Berlin changed its course? The truth hurts, Germany. “Why does Germany pay billions to Russia for energy and then we’re supposed to protect Germany from Russia? How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t.”

Trump confirms plan to cut troops in Germany – US President Donald Trump has confirmed plans to withdraw 9,500 American troops from bases in Germany. 

„Warum zahlt Deutschland Russland Milliarden Dollar für Energie, und dann sollen wir Deutschland vor Russland schützen? Wie soll das funktionieren? Es funktioniert nicht.“

What’s An Increase Of 42% Among Friends?

Somebody just slammed Germany in the face with a brick. I mean a Brexit.

EU

Germany to contribute 42% more to EU budget: report – The European Commission would like to see €13 billion more per year from Europe’s largest economy. EU leaders, including Angela Merkel, are meeting Friday to discuss the bloc’s future budget.

Germany currently contributes an average of €31 billion a year to the EU budget. The proposal for the new budget would raise that contribution to €44 billion — an increase of 42%.

Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

If You’re Going To Pull Down Statues

You might as well pull down Fawlty Towers while you’re at it.

Fawlty

Nobody gets this. But nobody gets what’s going on anywhere else these days so, whatever.

An episode of sitcom Fawlty Towers has been taken off UKTV’s streaming service because it contains “racial slurs”.

The BBC-owned platform said it had made The Germans unavailable while it carries out a review.

In the 1975 episode, Basil Fawlty declares “don’t mention the war” around German guests, while the Major uses highly offensive language about the West Indies cricket team.

“One of the things I’ve learned in the last 180 years is that people have very different senses of humour.”

$1.5 Trillion?

There must be a better word than “stimulus” for that.

Stimulus

Wherever medication is given in huge and sudden doses, there’s a risk of unpleasant side effects. In Germany, and Europe generally, one of these may be a lasting shift in governing philosophy from market-friendly policies to state interventionism. That needn’t end in central planning. But even going part of the way would mean buying relief today at the price of misery tomorrow…

First, governments tend to confuse a company’s size with strength. Second, they’re usually worse than private investors at spotting winners, and always worse at pulling money out of losers. Third, they turn the economy into a big lobbying competition for businesses, which eventually hurts taxpayers and consumers.

And Way Down On Page Seven…

‘Europe Made Mistakes Too’ – Former WHO Head Criticizes Slow Coronavirus Response

WHO

In an interview, Gro Harlem Brundtland, the former head of the World Health Organization, is critical of China’s early management of the outbreak of the coronavirus. She also says that the Europeans were too cavalier in their initial response and warns that the next epidemic could be much worse.

There are reasons to criticize China. Those responsible there were too slow. They informed too late. Worst of all, it took them a long time to acknowledge that the infection was from human to human. This transmission was already clearly discernible on Jan. 1, as we now know, but China did not officially announce this until Jan. 20.

What A Coincidence

Imagine that. “Racism on the rise in Germany” now too.

Racism

What would be the odds that Germany discovers racism is rising in Germany at the very same time US-Amerika discovers that racism is rising there? Like, right now. Suddenly. Simultaneously. Out of the blue, so-to-speak. It’s mind-boggling, don’t you think?

Unless, of course, racism – like fascism and all those other -isms out there – is ALWAYS rising. But that can’t be true. Otherwise this wouldn’t be considered a news article. It would be an artificial construct. It would be fake. And fake news is not allowed in Germany. It’s the law or something.

Recent statistics back up the protesters’ criticism and confirm a dismal trend: Racial discrimination has increased significantly in Germany.

According to the 2019 annual report presented Tuesday by the German Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency (ADS), the number of such cases reported in Germany rose by almost 10% to 1,176. They make up 33% of the cases dealt with by the agency. That is the largest share, and not for the first time: In 2016, it was already 25%. Since 2015, when 545 reported cases were listed, the number has more than doubled.

German Foreign Minister Says “Mumpf Blaf Prawf”

Then, after somebody finally got him to take that stupid face mask off, he says “Berlin and Washington remain NATO partners but the U.S. relationship is now ‘complicated.’”

German

This, however, is more nonsensical than “mumpf blaf prawf” because there ain’t nothing complicated about it. You made an obligation, Germany. Many, many years ago (way long before Donald Trump came along). And you still haven’t lived up to it. Auf Wiedersehen already.

Then he praised Republican former Republican President George W. Bush and current Democratic presidential contender Joe Biden’s responses to the anti-racism protests, telling the newspaper: “This gives me hope that there are responsible voices in both camps. I really hope that the sensible ones will prevail.”

Der Außenminister absolviert ein unfassbares Tagespensum. Er mahnt, warnt, fordert, hebt auf, äußert Verständnis, erklärt sich solidarisch oder äußert sein Mitgefühl – und das praktisch ununterbrochen, manchmal mehrmals pro Stunde.