Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.

German Of The Day: Rodungsstopp

That means to stop the clearing. Of trees, in this case.

Tesla

That this particular Rodungsstopp could also stop the construction of Tesla’s planned Gigafactory in Brandenburg – and what could turn out to  be the livelihood of 12,000 people – doesn’t seem to interest the greener than green politicians who have sought it.

Tesla has been ordered to temporarily halt preparations for a car factory in Germany after environmentalists won a court injunction on Sunday…

Protesters say the factory is a threat to local wildlife and water supplies…

According to local media reports, Tesla has promised to relocate colonies of forest ants, reptiles and bats, and is working with conservationists. Last month, authorities defused seven Second World War bombs discovered at the site.

Tesla currently has two Gigafactories in the US and one in Shanghai, China.

Der Rodungsstopp an der geplanten Tesla-Fabrik in Brandenburg alarmiert die Wirtschaft: Mehrere Verbände warnen vor Konsequenzen für den gesamten Standort Deutschland.

Now This Is What I Call Equality

Germans know how to do this stuff. When everybody loses over here then everybody loses equally.

Merkel

Everyone Loses in Germany – Voters in state elections effectively choose ‘none of the above.’

European elections these days are generally contests between a beleaguered mainstream and insurgent alternatives. Voters in two German states on Sunday chose a form of “none of the above” as the country stumbles out of the Angela Merkel era.

It Doesn’t Matter Who Replaces Merkel. Germany Is Broken.

They’re Only 25 Percent Of The Electorate

And growing. So we’ll just keep shunning them and they’ll eventually go away.

AfD

That seems to be what Germany’s established political parties are telling themselves when it comes to the far-right AfD – a party that owes it’s increasing popularity solely to Angela Merkel’s bat shit crazy migration “policy.” None of these parties are willing to even consider working together with the AfD. Even after yesterday’s results in Saxony and Brandenburg.

This is because the AfD politicians are all “Nazis” (everybody I don’t like – or offers “my” voters an alternative – is a Nazi, right?). So a quarter of the voters who voted in these two federal state elections yesterday are all Nazis, too? Uh, I don’t think so. This is German democracy in action? Here’s a little tip: Once they reach 51 percent you won’t have the opportunity to take the wind out of their sails because they won’t need you anymore.

Far-right AfD bids to encircle Berlin as resentment and division grow.

German Of The Day: Dorftrottel

That means village idiot. Dorf = village. Trottel = idiot, get it?

Dorftroggel

Well, some guy who purchased a village in Brandenburg now wants his money back after having taken a closer look at the damned thing. That’s right, a village. In Brandenburg, for crying out loud. With like people living in it and the whole bit. But in Brandenburg, like I said. Brandenburg is a place you leave in Germany, not a place you move to.

Talk about being a Dorftrottel. He wants out of the deal now because he claims that he is not legally competent. How could he be? Village idiots never are. Except in being village idiots, maybe.

The mayor said he met the buyer in December in Alwine. According to local media, the buyer was a little surprised by the crumbling condition of the town, which has now worsened after a recent storm.