We’re Not Worthy!

Actually, we’re too worthy – and that’s the problem.

Rich

If they think their ranking on rich lists is too low, American tycoons fume. German ones kick up a fuss when theirs looks suspiciously high, explains Heinz Dürr. When a magazine called him a billionaire a few years ago, Mr Dürr rang the editor to remonstrate. The reporters had double-counted his ownership of Homag, a maker of wood-processing machines that Dürr, his family’s mechanical-engineering firm, bought in 2014. Plutocrats have reached the top of politics in America and Italy, while in Asia the super-rich often display their wealth in ostentatious style. Germany’s magnates love to shun the limelight.

Which reminds me of German oddities 302 and 25.

German 302. Germans have a big Neid (envy) problem. They are perfectly aware of this and often complain that they live in a Neidgesellschaft (envy society) but keep turning green with envy all the same. One comedian claims that Germany is the only country in the world where the need for envy is stronger than the sex drive.

German Oddity 25. When Americans refer to something as being “typically American” they generally mean this in a positive way. When Germans refer to something as being “typically German” they generally mean this in a negative way.

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Conservative, Male, Wealthy?

What has this guy been smoking? How could anybody with credentials like that ever hope to become the chairman of Germany’s conservative party?

Merz

Conservatives don’t exist in this country. It’s against the law or something. And if they did, they would have to be liberal, female and have a very modest income. Germans also have a big Neid (envy) problem, you see.

German businessman Friedrich Merz, who is running to replace Chancellor Angela Merkel as leader of the Christian Democratic (CDU) party, disclosed for the first time that he earns about one million euros (S$1.57 million) a year, Bild am Sonntag newspaper reported on Sunday (Nov 18).

Merz verrät sein gigantisches Einkommen, zählt sich aber nicht zur Oberschicht.

Why Are Filthy Super-Rich Germans So Low-Key About Their High Finance?

Well, for one thing, they know better than anyone that they live in the notorious German Neidgesellschaft.

ALDI

And for another thing… The figures show that private wealth in Germany is more unevenly distributed than in any other country in the eurozone. While the richest 1% have personal wealth of just short of one million euros on average, a quarter of adult Germans have no wealth or even owe money.

ALDI schönen Sachen!

Seeing That Other People Have Lives Makes Germans Absolutely Miserable

Germans always knew that Facebook (like Google and practically every other hi-tech company from, uh-hum, Amerika) was somehow EVIL. But at least now they know why.

Neid

Two German universities have discovered that there is rampant German envy, uh, running rampant on Facebook. Apparantly, having to witness other people’s wonderful love lives, super vacation adventures and stunning successes at work makes them near physically ill.

This couldn’t surprise anybody who has spent any time in this country, however. Der deutsche Neid ist einfach ohnesgleichen. German Neid (envy) is unparalleled. It permeates this society to such a degree that practically every individual in the country is affected. I can’t say why this is, of course. But my gut feeling theory is that Germans are, in the end, simply unhappy. And misery loves company.

“We were surprised by how many people have a negative experience from Facebook with envy leaving them feeling lonely, frustrated or angry.”

Neidgesellschaft

This is a German word meaning a society based on envy (Germany, in other words).

A 27-year-old Berliner told police that being unemployed and in debt led him to set 67 cars alight over three months.

Damn. This guy must have been one of those 99% out there, if you know what I’m sayin’. If you follow their thinking to his logical conclusion, I mean.

“I’ve got debts, my life stinks and others with fancy cars are better off and they deserve this.”

 “Er fand, dass es vielen Menschen besser ging als ihm.”

PS: Speaking of Wall Street, sort of… What’s the real problem with Wall Street? “When you subsidize recklessness, you unsurprisingly get a lot more of it.”

Too many rich people here

Germans everywhere are concerned about a very disturbing revelation: There are over 100 German billionaires living in or around the country as we speak, so-to-speak.

These amerikanische Verhältnisse (American conditions) are unfair and unexceptable and incommensurate with the German consitution, or ought to be, because no German should have that much capital at his or her disposal because, well, this is an outrage for some reason.

Of course that these same upset Germans made the first three on the list (the ALDI and Lidl folks) as disgustingly wealthy as they are by always wanting cheapness über alles, that’s another story. Actually, no. It isn’t.

But maybe another story is the fact that Germans live in a so-called Neidgesellschaft (a society infected with envy) and are generally filled with Missgunst (resentment) and don’t want to keep up with the Joneses as much as they want to keep the Joneses down. Or anders gesagt (in other words); there can’t be any losers in Germany, but there sure the hell better not be any winners either.

“Insgesamt erhöhte sich die Zahl der Milliardäre und Milliardärsfamilien in Deutschland im Vergleich zum Vorjahr leicht von 99 auf 103.”