This Is News?

April 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Aggression, Autobahn, Automobiles, Bullying, Cars, Driving, eBooks, EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Road Rage, Studies, Tailgaiting 4 Comments

Germans found to be Europe’s most aggressive drivers

Tailgating, shouting insults – nowhere in Europe do drivers react as intensely as they do in Germany, a recent study shows.

Two out of three (67%) admitted to using offensive gestures, and verbal abuse, to insult other drivers.

More than one-third (34%) said they purposefully follow close behind, or otherwise annoy drivers, in order to intimidate them.

PS: Oddity 125. Fun German Games you didn’t know you were participating in: Tailgate Tag. Germans love to drive up to within just a few inches behind the slower moving cars on the left lane of the autobahn and bully them over to the right.

To Russia With Love

March 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bailouts, Debt, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, Europe, Gazprom, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Putin, Russia, Socialists, Tsipras, Varoufakis 3 Comments

I mean with debt. Go with God, Greece, but go (to Russia for more dough). I’m sure they’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Greece’s energy minister is visiting Russia today after calling for a confrontation with a “Germanised Europe” in the country’s stalling bailout negotiations.

The visit comes less than a fortnight before Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras is due to visit Russian president Vladimir Putin, the date of which was reportedly brought forward because of Greece’s financial disputes with the European Union.

“Today, it becomes even more evident to me that the pathway of the country away from the crisis goes through tough confrontation, if not collision, with the Germanized Europe.”

It’s Not That We’re Too Strong

March 29, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Christian Lindner, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, FDP, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Merkel, Polls, Third Reich 1 Comment

The rest of you guys out there in Europe are just too weak. Like start doing more push-ups or something.

German dominance is in part a consequence of others’ retreat. That may be why complaints have been muted. “If the Italians don’t bring pasta and the French don’t bring pâté,” says a diplomat, “you can’t complain about Mrs Merkel’s cabbage soup.

PS: And speaking of getting stronger, you folks over at the FDP should learn to smile a little already. Polls indicate that you’re back over that magical 5 percent line and could get back in the saddle again – if elections were to be held today.

German-Greek Tensions Ease After First WWII Reparations Payment Rolls In

March 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: EU, Germany, Government Waste, Greece, Grexit, Guilt, Humor, Reparations, Satire, WWII Leave a comment

European politicians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief as a mentally challenged German couple holidaying in Greece made the first ever private WWII reparations payment of $935 to Greece to make up for their government’s bad and nasty attitude.

Spokesmen for Brussels and Berlin were quick to point out that this shows how private people with good intentions can also “burn up money like nobody’s business” and how “like you shouldn’t always point your finger just at us when we squander away our dough. Your dough, that is. You’re pretty good at this, too.”

“They made their calculations and said each German owed 875 euros for what Greece had to pay during World War II.”

A New Axis Of Evil Or Something

March 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, Euro, Germany, Greece, Portugal, Reform, Spain, Tsipras 1 Comment

It’s not just Germany hurting Greek feelings anymore (although the Germans are still evil, too).

The Greek government is now accusing Spain and Portugal of conspiring against it, as well. It’s a conspiracy, you see, because these two countries are willing to carry out the stringent reforms needed to get their economies going again. Greece clearly is not.

Greece’s leftist Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras accused Spain and Portugal on Saturday of leading a conservative conspiracy to topple his anti-austerity government, saying they feared their own radical forces before elections this year.

How much longer is this show going to go on?

“Nach europäischen Maßstäben war das ein sehr ungewöhnliches Foulspiel. Das tun wir nicht in der Euro-Gruppe, das gehört sich nicht.”

Germans Confused Why Everybody In Europe Wants TTIP Except Them

February 25, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Negativity, Paranoia, Polls, Surveys, Trade, Treaties, TTIP 2 Comments

It’s like I say, folks: A real German says no first and asks questions later (that was oddity 255, if you’re interested). And if US-Amerika is involved in the calculation (see TTIP), all bets are off.

“The EU has published a survey according to which citizens are downright euphoric about the free trade agreement TTIP. In all, 25 Member States [of the 28] there will pour sheer enthusiasm over the completely secretly negotiated agreement, but for one small exception: Germans are mostly against the TTIP.”

Die EU hat in Deutschland einen merkwürdigen Zusammenhang zwischen der Befürwortung von TTIP und der „Demokratiezufriedenheit“ der Bürger ausgemacht. In anderen Ländern lasse sich ein solcher Zusammenhang nicht feststellen.

German Of The Day: Finanzspritze

February 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brussels, Debt, EU, Euro, German, Germany, Greece, Greek, Humor, Satire, Tsipras 3 Comments

That means an injection of capital. And that’s Greek down there for “I got your injection of capital for you right here, pal.”

Germany and its allies turned up the pressure on Greece to accept their conditions to stay in the euro as the region’s top finance officials descended on Brussels to hammer out a deal.

“Germany, the Netherlands and others will be hard and they will insist that Greece pays back the solidarity shown by the member states by respecting the conditions. They’ve now reached a point where they will tell Greece ‘if you really want to leave, leave.’”

German Of The Day: Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende

January 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bailout, Debt, EU, Euro, German, Germany, Greece, Language, Socialism, Tsipras Leave a comment

That means “better a terrifying end than unending terror.” In other words, it’s time for Greece to get those drachma machines running again.

But the Greeks already know this themselves. That’s what they just voted for. Sure, we’ll get to watch how Greece and the EU (Germany) play around with each other for a few weeks as if both sides are tying to find a new solution for a solution that has already long been in place but in the end Greece will leave the EU. This new Greek government is the undertaker man (don’t shake that guy’s hand!). They will point their fingers at Germany on the way out telling Greek voters “we tried everything we could, but…” and then, well, it’s back to the real world again. And this will be a good thing for Greece – in the long run.

Hey, this reminds me of another German saying: Geh mit Gott, aber geh! Go with God, but go!

Entgegen allen Warnungen aus Deutschland und Europa lehnt die griechische Regierung Gespräche mit den internationalen Geldgebern ab. Sie seien in Athen nicht willkommen.

Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall

September 14, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Borders, EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Illegal Immigration, Refugees, Walls, Walter Ulbricht Leave a comment

Why build just one wall when you can build dozens of them instead?

Like how un-European is that? This type of shocking and evil thing can only happen in shocking and evil places like US-Amerika or Israel.

Along the frontiers between Spain and Morocco, Greece and Turkey and Hungary and Serbia, the EU is deploying brutal methods to keep out undesired refugees. Many risk everything for a future in Europe and their odysseys too often end in death.

The EU is doing all it can to keep out refugees.

PS: The Germans would be contributing a lot more here but they only have experience with keeping refugees in.

The UK Is Really Going To Have Problems With The EU Now

August 5, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, History, Hurt Feelings Tags: England, EU, Germany, Humor, Satire, WWI Leave a comment

ENGLAND DECLARES WAR ON GERMANY!

“Great Britain declared war on Germany at 11 o’clock last night.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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