Take Your Alternative Citizen Test Today!

February 27, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Books, Citizenship, eBooks, German, Germans, Germany, Tests Leave a comment

Just answer the following questions politically correctly and you could become a German citizen!

Is US-Amerika to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Do you love to obsess about the privacy of the data no one is forcing you to place on your numerous free social media platforms nor is particularly interested in?

Are you convinced that your recycling and waste separation efforts are saving the lives of polar bears as we speak?

Are you OK with the fact that you are a “pacifist” living in one of the world’s largest weapons exporting nations?

Is your first impulse to shut down all of your nuclear power plants whenever an earthquake takes place in Japan?

Is it OK for you to pretend to be more European than other Europeans are while dominating those other Europeans with your crushing economic might?

Do you believe everything you see every night on your tax-funded state TV news channels?

Are you considering reducing the number of your annual vacation flights from three down to one to help combat Global Warming?

Is US-Amerika still to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Well then, if the answer to those was an emphatic “Yes!” you don’t worry about taking the alternative citizenship test. You’re a German already.

Please note: This is just a small sampling of the questions asked during the final examination.

This Survey Is Clearly Incomplete

February 26, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Hysteria Tags: China, Donald Trump, German, Germans, Germany, Media, Polls, Surveys, USA 2 Comments

They trust North Korea more, too.

Germans trust China more than US two years into Trump’s presidency, survey finds – More Germans view China as a better partner with their country than the United States, according to a recently released poll showing souring relations since Donald Trump took office two years ago.

Germans hold an increasingly negative view of the relationship between the US and their country, with just 23.1 per cent saying they think the US is a better partner than China. Meanwhile, 42 per cent of Germans surveyed said that China is a more reliable partner than America.

Fast 60 Prozent sprechen sich für eine stärkere Distanzierung Deutschlands gegenüber den USA aus.

We’re All Going To Die!

February 25, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Brexit, Business, EU, European Union, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Trade Leave a comment

When the Brexit hits the fan, remember?

It’s quite odd. Germans, notoriously nervous by nature, don’t seem terribly worried about Brexit these days at all. I guess there’s only so much you can worry about at any given time. Even if you’re a German.

Dead calm: Brexit not in top 10 of German businesses’ priorities – With five weeks to March 29th, Germans are worried – about everything but Brexit.

Commuters fear inner-city bans on diesel cars. Politicians are fighting over renovating – and digitising – German schools. Police are battling criminal Arab clans.

“I don’t know why Germany, all in all, is so relaxed about this.”

How Do You Reboot Something That Was Never Running In The First Place?

February 24, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, European Union, German, Germans, Germany, Leftists, Political Parties, Reform, Socialists, The Left Party Leave a comment

Germany: Left Party calls for EU ‘reboot’ at party convention.

Germany’s socialist party has presented a fundamental EU reform agenda at their convention in the western city of Bonn. Members decided against calling for the creation of a “European Republic” in the manifesto.

Now get this: They want to make the EU more “international” than it already is. International is why the EU isn’t working in the first place. Take their international EU border, for example. Their international currency (think Greece vs. Germany) really rocks, too. To name just a few structurally international shortcomings, I mean.

The one thing that could make something like the EU work is the one thing that all agree must never be mentioned, much less ever put into practice: A federation of sovereign, national states. No, the Eurocrats prefer, insist upon fixing and re-fixing and rebooting again and again and again…

“Our vision is anchored in a solidarity-based internationalism. Together with other left-wing parties, we stand for a fundamental change of policy in the European Union.”

Our Energy Doesn’t Stink

February 22, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coal, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

But we need yours anyway, OK? Your nuclear and coal burning energy…

Merkel’s Government Looks Abroad to Keep Germany’s Lights On – Germany will rely heavily on neighboring nations in Europe to avert blackouts as it weans itself off coal over the next two decades, a senior government official said.

Europe’s biggest consumer of electricity is working to shut power plants fueled by both coal and nuclear energy that account for half of the nation’s generation capacity. Thomas Bareiss, a deputy economy and energy minister, acknowledged that retiring all those plants poses a challenge that may leave Germany reliant on imported electricity.

“It means thinking ahead and acting in concert in an already active cross-border market.”

Man Bites Dog

February 20, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Humility, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Dogs, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Hunters Leave a comment

Just kidding. Dog shoots man.

And here the Germans are always accousing Americans of having way too lax gun regulations. Sheesh.

A court in Munich has refused a hunter’s legal claim to get his gun license back and be allowed to carry weapons. A loaded gun left inside his car two years ago was the start of his problems.

In November 2016, a German hunter was at a game reserve northeast of Dresden and talking to a passerby when his dog accidentally set off his gun from inside the car. The hunter was wounded in the arm. As a result, the hunter lost both his weapons’ license and his hunting permit, which authorities have refused to extend.

Must have had a dog hair trigger.

Are You Feeling The Security Risk Yet?

February 17, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Automobiles, EU, Europe, Exports, Free Trade, German, Germans, Germany, Imports, National Security Threat, Tariffs, Trade, USA Leave a comment

European automobile tariff regulators?

The U.S. Commerce Department is set to meet a Sunday deadline to deliver its recommendations to President Donald Trump on whether imported vehicles and parts pose a national security risk, and to outline options on how to address the issue, officials said on Thursday.

Trump would then have 90 days after Commerce’s recommendation to decide whether to impose tariffs…

Trump has urged the EU to drop its 10 percent tariff on imported vehicles. The U.S. passenger car tariff is 2.5 percent, while it imposes 25 percent tariffs on pickup trucks.

The Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, whose members include General Motors, Volkswagen AG, Toyota Motor Corp, has warned tariffs would boost imported car prices nearly $6,000 on average.

Deutsche Autobauer verstehen die Welt nicht mehr.

No Job Losses Here

February 14, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hurt Feelings Tags: A380, Airbus, Employment, German, Germans, Germany, Jobs, Recession 1 Comment

In Germany. Then everybody’s happy, right?

The German government is not expecting widespread job cuts in Europe’s largest economy following Airbus’s decision to scrap production of the A380 superjumbo, the aerospace policy coordinator told Reuters on Thursday.

“We expect these jobs will largely continue to exist, working on different models such as the A350, the newest plane on the market, or the A330 neo.”

Let’s Celebrate Together In Berlin!

February 13, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Business, Celebrations, Diplomacy, German, Germans, Germany, Iran, Israel, Terror 2 Comments

The German foreign affairs ministry sent representatives to Iran’s embassy in Berlin yesterday to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Iran is just a regular old country after all and Germany is everybody’s darling so, what’s the big deal? OK, the mullahs have been known to dabble in international terror now and again. And maybe that part about Tehran urging the destruction of Israel (the Jewish state) is a little over the top but Germans would never urge that kind of thing on their own, directly, so take a chill pill already. Keeping up good business, I mean, diplomatic relations is never a bad idea.

Doch warum schickte die Bundesregierung einen Vertreter zur Revolutionsfeier eines Terrorregimes in dessen Botschaft?

German Of The Day: Grenzschließung

February 12, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Angela Merkel, Borders, CDU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Migrant Crisis, Migrants, Political Parties, SPD 2 Comments

That means border closure.

Damn. Maybe Mini-MErkel isn’t so Mini-MErkel after all.

Much like the SPD desperately trying to get back the people who used to vote for them with yesterday’s Hartz IV shenanigans, Germany’s CDU 2.0 (can we call it post-Merkel yet?) is fighting to get back the voters who abandoned them in droves after Angela Merkel’s bat shit crazy migrant fiasco of 2015. Boss lady Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer has made it clear that this can and will never happen again – without pointing fingers or naming any names, of course – and has even said that her party would be prepared shut down German borders (no, really, they have borders, too) should it ever be necessary.

Odd. These are stands that the pure evil of evilness AfD has been taking from the start (that’s were the CDU voters ran off to). Now the CDU is acting as though they just figured this out all by themselves. Better late than never, I guess.

„Wir haben gesagt, als Ultima Ratio wäre das durchaus auch denkbar.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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