We Don’t Do Humility

April 5, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Guilt, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Nuclear weapons, Poetry, World War II 1 Comment

We self-righteous high priests of the German political left, I mean. It’s just not our thing.

But what we do do is regularly transform a little imaginary something we call “collective guilt” (World War II guilt, there is no such thing as Communist East Germany guilt) into new products (poems) with new perpetrators (Israel) which we market at irregular intervals to cover our countrymen’s never-ending demand for ritual redemption which of course will never be satisfied, or so we lead them (and us) to believe.

“Membership in the Waffen-SS is normally not a great beginning for a career as keeper of the global conscience. Were I to have joined the Nazi military at age 15, I too would likely be a bit wary of criticizing Holocaust survivors. But that is exactly the problem: Humility was never Grass’ thing. His expertise lies more in self-righteousness.”

An Old School German Intellectual Poetry Attack Par Excellence

April 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Democracy, Dictatorships, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Intellectuals, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Literature, Political correctness, Self-Defense, The Nobel Prize 3 Comments

Günter Grass has it all: That fat and sassy moral high ground he’s king of the hill of, that left-wing obsession for defending brutal regimes in the name of “world peace,” that Nobel Prize for literature and that SPD party membership book (I’m not sure which one gives him more legitimacy here).

But above all else, he’s got that which all successful peacenik artists and Künstler the world over must invariably have: That inability to keep their mouths shut when it comes to addressing issues they clearly know nothing about.

At the moment Grass is worried about how “the nuclear power Israel is endangering the already fragile world peace” (think Iran) and has written a shockingly predictable poem about it. It must be a real humdinger, too, but to be fair I must admit that I haven’t read it yet and most certainly never will because I’m waiting to read his poem about Iran’s threat to world peace first. I assume that he will publish that one next week, but you know what they say about when you assume things… Blah, blah, blah. Meet the new school. Same as the old school.

Israel currently has three Dolphin submarines from Germany – one half-funded and two entirely funded by Berlin – two more are currently under construction, and the contract for a sixth submarine was signed last month. Dolphin-class submarines can carry nuclear-tipped missiles, but there is no evidence Israel has armed them with such weapons.

Let The Protests Begin

February 2, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Military, Missle Shield, NATO, Ramstein, Russia, Satire, Technology 2 Comments

Now that the command center for NATO’s missile shield program will be based here in Germany, it’s time for the German Left (that’s the middle of the road here, by the way) to start telling us why this is an awful bad horrible idea.

My guess is that that we will find out that there are actually no such things as rogue states like Iran (only morally challenged ones), that a missle shield like this is absolutely positively technically impossible to implement, and that putting one into operation (even though it is absolutely positively technically impossible to implement) would hurt Russia’s feelings.

There’s not much happening on the Peace Front either these days, you see. And spring is just around the corner. And folks do get easily bored, you know?

The United States insists that the missile shield aims to counter missile threats from Iran, but Russia has voiced concerns that it would target its own strategic deterrent.

Pro-Iranian Business Conference Great Success In Berlin

November 10, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Atomic weapons, Berlin, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Imports, Iran, Nuclear weapons, Sanctions, Satire, Women Leave a comment

Although having been in a bit of a slump recently for some inexplicable reason, business opportunities appear to be picking up once again with Iran for mid-sized German firms.

Something called the “Iranian Business Women Power Economic Congress,” specifically designed to violate the sanctions put in place against the Iranian regime (established by Germany, the European Union, the United States and the United Nations), is successfully promoting trade with the Islamic Republic while simultaneously honoring Iranian women’s rights or something, although some of the women attending haven’t dressed according to forced Islamic dress codes (well they’re forced in Iran) “but we will address that later,” one miffed bearded organizer noted.

“And no, we are not allowing Iranian women to be used as a pretext here in Germany to defy the so-called sanctions you speak of,” another organizer added. “How could we? We like women. The humiliation, silencing, repression and stoning of them that takes place back home is grossly exaggerated in the West. And for the record, once again: We’re not developing any nuclear detonators, warheads or weapons of any kind either, just in case you were wondering.”

“Wir sind wie Wasser – wir finden immer einen Weg”

Funnel Payments Stopped Despite Iranian Pledge

April 7, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Nuclear power, Nuclear weapons, Satire 2 Comments

Despite Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s repeated pledge to Germany that Iran’s nuclear program is being used for energy only and that he would reveal any future secret Iranian nuclear site plans “as soon as he became aware of them,” a spokesman for the German government says that the deal to funnel oil payments from India to Iran through Germany’s central bank has been scrapped.

Enraged by this sudden change of heart, Mr. Ahmadinejad asked the Germans “But what about my promise to give 60-days notice before unleashing any surprise attacks on Israel using the missiles that we almost certainly do not have, to the best of my recollection? Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Washington has questioned Germany’s resolve to enforce sanctions given its strong trading links with Tehran.

What’s the big deal?

April 3, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Hostages, Humor, Iran, Satire, Terrorism 3 Comments

The Germans always wheel and deal like this.

German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle not only personally brought back two German hostages to Berlin after personally meeting with El Presidente Iranian Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in February, he and other German government officials personally saw to it that the German central bank personally provide assistance to India in an oil deal with Iran as payoff for the hostage release. Nothing personal.

So deal with it already.

The sources say the German government approved the Bundesbank’s help in the Iranian-Indian transaction in exchange for the release of the two prisoners.

German Hostages Released in Iran Shortly After Which Iranian Film Takes Top Prize at Berlinale

February 20, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, High Art Tags: Berlin, Berlinale, Film, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Movies, Satire 1 Comment

Two German hostages have suddenly been released after four months of imprisonment in Iran.

Shortly after their release, an Iranian film took the top prize at the Berlinale.

I’m just sayin’, OK?

Jury president Isabella Rossellini said the choice of Farhadi’s film was “pretty unanimous.”

Germany Pulls Out Big Guns

January 2, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Islam, Mullahs, Satire, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

The mullah regime in Tehran must be shaking in its boots now (do mullahs even wear boots?).

More than one hundred (100) prominent Germans have signed an open letter to the Iranian government calling for the release of two German journalists being held by the Iranians under the standard charge of espionage for interviewing the son of some woman down there who is going to be stoned to death for adultry–although I can’t really see why anybody would consider this being a newsworthy item or anything (the getting stoned for adultry part), but still.

The Iranians may regularly sneer in disdain at Merkel, Westerwelle and Co., but when folks like freakin’ Franz Beckenbauer get pissed off, things are going to start happening, and pronto.

And indeed, they already have. Clearly anticipating the Beckenbauer Vorstoß (foray), Iranians in the background (and there certainly seems to be a whole lot of those, don’t you think?) have convinced the woman they are about to murder to come out into the daylight for a few minutes to announce her intention to sue the journalist/spies in question for having had the audacity and/or nerve to interview her son.

And you thought Americans were litigation-happy.

“The woman who has been sentenced to death was allowed to leave her jail cell for a few hours to declare in front of western TV cameras that she would file a suit against our reporters. Does Iran really think that a strange farce like this will improve the credibility of its justice system abroad?”

Once the Stuxnet worm infects a system…

October 3, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Sabotage, Satire, Siemens Leave a comment

Whether it be a Siemens system in China, Indonesia, India, the United States, Australia, Britain, Malaysia, Pakistan and, oh yeah, now in Germany too “it quickly sets up communications with a remote server computer that can be used to steal proprietary information or take control of the SCADA system.”

Other than in those systems in Iran, I mean.

Just in time for Germany’s the big 20th anniversary reunification party or what?

“I can’t stand it! I know you planned it!”

For Siemens with love

September 26, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Iran, Siemens, Stuxnet 1 Comment

The highly complex stuxnet worm–it’s complexity, some say, suggesting it could only have been created by a “nation state“–has targeted systems at Iran’s first nuclear power station, systems made by the German company Siemens.

Stuxnet is tailored to target weaknesses in Siemens systems used to manage water supplies, oil rigs, power plants and other utilities. But I can’t see why anyone would be interested in doing such a thing as Iran (with Siemen’s help) has repeatedly stated that it is only developing nuclear energy for peaceful purposes.

Hmm. I guess you could say da ist der Wurm drin (the worm is inside) = there’s something very wrong with that. With making ridiculous statements like that, I mean.

Nun bestätigte ein Regierungsmitarbeiter, dass in Industrieanlagen 30.000 Rechner mit dem Virus infiziert wurden.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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