Migrants To Crash The Oktoberfest ITSELF?

September 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Beer, Dirndl, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Lederhosen, Migrants, Munich, Oktoberfest, Refugees, Syria 3 Comments

Of all fests? Is nothing heilig anymore? Some folks are already referring to number 182 as the Krisen-Wiesn (crisis Oktoberfest). In your neighborhood tomorrow. If you live in Munich, I mean.

On Munich’s main shopping street on Tuesday, women in abayas—the long robes worn by some Muslim women—were studying lederhosen and dirndls—the revealing shorts and dresses traditional in Bavaria—in the shop windows.

“Asylum seekers in particular from Muslim countries aren’t used to encountering heavily drunk people in public. It could get out of hand.”

What About The Male Muslim Teachers In Germany?

March 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Court Rulings, German, Germans, Germany, Headscarves, Islam, Islamisation, Religion, Teachers, Teaching 3 Comments

Are they now allowed to wear headscarves in class as long as it does not cause disruption in school, too? Fair is fair, you know.

Female Muslim teachers in Germany may wear headscarves in class as long as it does not cause disruption in the school, Germany’s top court has said in a ruling that may fuel debate about what some nationalist groups see as creeping “Islamisation”.

The constitutional court reversed its initial 2003 ban on headscarves for teachers, which had led some German states to forbid Muslim headscarves in schools while permitting the wearing of Christian symbols such as crucifixes and nuns’ habits.

“Ich empfinde das Urteil als Katastrophe. Ich halte das für ein Zurückweichen, für die Preisgabe eines elementaren Bausteins unserer Gesellschaft.”

I Would Like To Know More About This ISIS Beheading Thing

March 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bremen, Charlie Hebdo, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Islam, Islamophobia, Religion, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

And the Charlie Hebdo attack. And all the other attacks. And that mysterious Islamist terror threat yesterday in Bremen. You know. I would like to know more about stuff like that.

I would like to understand these things better because I don’t understand them at all because all of these atrocities are being carried out by Islamists in the name of Islam and yet I am continually being told that these Islamists have nothing to do with Islam and that confuses me. This confusion means that I am Islamophobic, apparently. And I know you mean well, mister but I don’t think you are going to have any good answers for me, either. That must be a part of my Islamophobia, too. Help me, man. I’m sick.

“It’s getting more difficult because a lot of Islamophobic themes are coming, people now mixing Islam and terror, so we have to explain a lot.”

PS: And the Miss Germany 2015 winner is… Her.

And That Little Girl’s Not Wearing Her Head-Thingy, Either

February 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Art, Awards, Berlin, Berlin Film Festival#, Berlinale, Films, Free speech, Golden Bear, Humor, Iran, Islam, Movies, Mullahs, Satire, Taxi Leave a comment

Officially banned from filmmaking in Iran since 2010, Iranian director Jafar Panahi’s third film since then, Taxi, just won the Golden Bear at the 65th Berlin Film Festival.

Iranian creative folks still officially allowed to work in Iran are now petitioning their government to officially ban their work, too. Unfortunately, however, the head Islamically-correct-artistic-expression-mullah-what’s-in-charge said nichts da (nothing doing) when reached for comment, as “official bans like ours don’t just grow on trees, you know. And besides, if we officially banned everything then our official bans would not be nearly as effective as they have been up until now. And that’s official,” the official said.

“Limitations often inspire filmmakers to storytellers to make better work.”

Muslim Preacher Dude Finally Starts Making Some Sense

February 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Extremism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Marriage, Religion, Satire, Sex, Terror, Terrorists, Wives 2 Comments

Otherwise known for his extremist views, Berlin Imam Sheikh Abdel Moez al-Eila has proclaimed that a wife should be confined to her husband’s home and should never refuse him sex.

Now he didn’t explicitly say that it had to be really good sex, too but some things kind of go without saying. Now that’s what I call old-time religion.

Claiming that when he first married his wife, she was “pretty and slim” and that she “used to say nice things to him,” al-Eila bemoans that he has been left with a “fat” wife with a “gloomy face.”

If a man is tempted by another woman who “arouses” him in the street, al-Eila claims that the Prophet Muhammad had the remedy when he apparently said that the man “…should go home quickly and have sex with his wife and Allah will immediately remove the urge from his heart.”

Muslims Find Soap Offensive

January 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, Facebook, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Innocence of Muslims, Islam, Islamization, Minarets, Political Agendas, Religion, Soap 6 Comments

Let me rephrase that: Certain Muslims on Facebook find a specific soap being sold by Aldi Süd offensive because it has a minaret on the label.

That injures their religious sensibilities of something so Aldi, being the politically correct cutthroat global discount supermarket chain it is, has now removed the soap from its offering. This, in turn, has pissed off a number of German customers who feel that the Muslim and Aldi reactions are completely ridiculous, which, of course, they are.

One such customer has now suggested that Aldi also remove Germany’s famous Kölnisch Wasser (Cologne) from their offering as it injures German religious sensibilities, too. After all, the Cologne Cathedral is depicted on its label.

So fordert etwa ein Kunde auf der Facebook-Seite des Unternehmens, dass man “Kölnisch Wasser” aus dem Verkauf nehmen sollte, weil es seine religiösen Gefühle verletze.

Germans Not Overdoing It Again

January 12, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Demonstrations, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Islamization, Language, Mondays, PEGIDA, Protests, Satire 1 Comment

Honest. With their anti-Islamization bzw. (and) anti-Pegida hysteria, I mean.

Not with Bagida.
Not with Bärgida.
Not with Hagida.
Not with Legida.
Not with Muegida.
Not with Mvgida.
Not with Öz-Gida.
Not with Schwegida.
Not even with Merkel-Ida herself, for crying out loud.

Maybe it’s time to like gida life already, people.

All Together Now!

January 7, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Charlie Hebdo, Germany, ISIS, Islam, Islamization, Religion, Terror Leave a comment

Here’s where we say this had nothing to do with Islam (other religions have this kind of stuff done in their names all the time, you know).

And getting back to Pegida… How could anyone possibly have anything bad to say about the potential Islamization danger in Germany? Or, well, in France for that matter.

“All diejenigen, die bisher die Sorgen der Menschen vor einer drohenden Gefahr durch Islamismus ignoriert oder verlacht haben, werden durch diese Bluttat Lügen gestraft.”

Pegida? Kögida? Bärgida?

January 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Demonstrations, German, Germany, Islam, PEGIDA, Protests Leave a comment

This is all starting to bug me a litta…

Germany is preparing itself for the first wave of PEGIDA demonstrations of the new year. The anti-Islamization movement has been steadily growing in popularity as the demonstrations reach their fourth month.

On Monday, the first marches of 2015 will also see the first turnout of protesters in the country’s capital, Berlin. Playing on the city’s bear mascot, “Bärgida” currently has just short of 600 people listed as attending on the Facebook event page. More are expected to march on Monday evening, however.

Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

October 29, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Discrimination, Employment, Foreigners, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Jobs, Salafists, Security, Terrorism Leave a comment

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Islam