All The Secret Code That’s Fit To Print

Forget about the lying press. Now some German media have taken it to a new level and publish their news reports using a secret code. Everybody here knows the code, however, so it’s not much of a secret. But still.

250

Here’s an example: 250 “people” obstruct a police operation in Duisburg. The cops in Duisburg wanted to check the papers of some guy involved in a traffic violation. The situation escalated, however, ending up with a gang of 250 “people” assembling and interfering with this police action.

Let me decode that for you: Germans don’t assemble in groups like that to interfere with cops investigating some traffic violation. Ergo, other people who now live in Germany do. Not one word can be found in that article indicating that, of course, but your everyday Germans on the street have become such experienced code breakers that they know the deal as soon as they read the headline. Nobody’s lying though, see?

Etwa 250 Menschen haben der Polizei zufolge eine Verkehrskontrolle gestört.

More Tough Sentencing In Germany

The state court in Berlin convicted a group of young refugees from Syria and Libya on Tuesday who attempted to set fire to a sleeping homeless man at a subway station on Christmas last year. The oldest of the group, a 21-year-old Syrian man, was sentenced to two years and nine months in prison.

Crime

I guess the judges were being lenient like in that recent case in Cottbus. In Muslim countries it’s apparently OK to light people on fire so that needed to be taken into consideration, I assume.

But seriously, if were up to me and I were a judge here in Berlin I’d lock them up in the David Hasselhoff Museum and throw away the key.

German Of The Day: Schleierfahndung

“Veiled searches” probably aren’t what you think they are. Women wearing veils aren’t randomly being searched here (although the idea isn’t half bad).

Schleierfahndung

It means stop and search practices or dragnet controls – searches made without having a concrete suspicion.

Bavaria is pushing hard for more of these at the moment, all over the country. Federal minister of the interior Thomas de Maizière is all for it, too. And the usual cry of outrage hält sich in Grenzen (is being kept within bounds, within the border). Maybe because this is a country that thinks it doesn’t need to have a border?

Diese verdachtsunabhängigen Polizeikontrollen sind bislang auf einen 30-Kilometer-Gürtel hinter den Bundesgrenzen beschränkt, sollten laut Herrmann aber auch in der Nähe von Flughäfen, Bahnhöfen und Rastplätzen möglich sein.

PS: Not that stop and search would do any good here in Germany anyway. The courts here don’t cooperate. Check out the judgement reached be a court in Cottbus last week: A Muslim asylum seeker stabs his wife 19 times, cuts her throat and throws her out the window because he thinks she’s been sleeping around (the mother of his five children). He gets off with manslaughter. That means he’ll be out in half the time he would be out in if convicted of murder (there is no life sentence in Germany). The court’s reasoning? In the Muslim world it’s apparently OK to kill your wife if she commits adultery so the man had to be judged with a different set of standards. He gets a discount, in other words. For being a Muslim. This was a court in Germany. Today. Coming to your town soon.

 

No Joke

Little old ladies just don’t seem to understand the world we are now living in. Not that I do, either. But still.

Hate Crime

In Germany, you can be arrested and fined €1,350 for finding jokes like these funny (and then sharing it on your Facebook page): “Do you have anything against refugees? Yes. Machine guns and hand grenades.”

And using some lame excuse like “I like to pass on funny things” won’t help you out here one little bit, ma’am. You are guilty of hate crime. Hate crime, you ask? What is hate crime? Well, hate crime, when it comes to jokes, is kind of like thoughtcrime only… No, wait. It is thoughtcrime. That’s precisely what it is. Now just sit back and relax, ma’am. We will purge that abominable joke from your mind with the help of this little red button right here.

„Ich leite gern spaßige Sachen weiter.”

There Has To Be A Connection Here Somewhere

What? Something happened in London, too? Imagine that.

Rock

I mean, after concrete terror threats forced German police to temporarily shut down the Rock am Ring music festival in Nuerburg and an Afghan man who killed a boy at a German refugee center near Regensburg was also shot and killed and German police arrested a 17-year-old asylum seeker suspected of planning a suicide attack in Berlin and… There were a few more there but I lose track of them these days. In the good old days, when these things only took place once a week or so, they were a whole lot easier to classify and arrange in order.

Something tells me that these terrible events must all be tied together somehow. I can feel it. There has to be a common thread connecting them but I just can’t figure out what it is. I bet you Sherlock Holmes could, though. If such a person existed, I mean.

PS: In an unrelated story, the rate of deportations is stagnating in Germany.

Leaving Las Vegas

Only it’s Germany this time. And nobody’s really leaving here, either.

Return

You don’t have to leave, of course, refugee folks. It’s just that we’d really, really, really like it if you would.

With deportations expensive and complicated, Germany launched a new website designed to help encourage migrants to return voluntarily to their home countries. Organizers are please with the resonance so far, the site currently getting up to six or seven hits a day.

In diesem Jahr sind bisher weniger Migranten freiwillig in ihre Heimat zurückgekehrt als noch im Vorjahr. Bund und Länder versuchen weiterhin eine schnellere und konsequentere Abschiebung durchzusetzen.

The Temporary Border Controls That Last And Last And Last

Germany will keep up its temporary border controls, thank you (they finally got it last year). And this despite Brussels ordering EU member states to do away with them.

Control

Things are so much better now on Europe’s southern borders, these Eurocrats hiding in Belgian bunkers say, so drop your defenses already. We will give you six more months before you have to get rid of those awful things. Or else. Or else another six months, right?

Die EU-Kommission hat Deutschland erlaubt, die wegen der Flüchtlingskrise eingeführten Grenzkontrollen bis Ende November fortzuführen. Nach Angaben von EU-Innenkommissar Dimitri Avramapoulos erhielten Deutschland, Österreich, Dänemark, Schweden und Norwegen “ein letztes Mal” eine Frist sechs Monaten.

German Of The Day: Leitkultur

That means the dominant, leading culture. In this case, the one with dominant German values.

Leitkultur

This is of course a bad word because it incorrectly implies that Germany should be more like Germany and less like, I dunno, Pakistan or something. That kind of thinking is anti-multikulti and therefore racist not to say Nazi (which will be said soon enough) so when the German interior minister suggests a 10-point plan to help establish these dominant German values – in the hope of actually helping immigrants to integrate – massive waves of righteous moral outrage are virtually guaranteed.*

“Wer sich seiner Leitkultur sicher ist, ist stark.”

* Election time is approaching fast, folks. If this suggestion would have been made by the AfD, by the way,  this moral outrage would have been expressed by the very government that just made the suggestion.

Radical Right-Wing German Soldier Granted Asylum In Germany As Syrian Refugee Turns Out To Be Wannabe Islamist Terrorist

Wait. It gets better. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know what to say, people. But only a military counterintelligence service called MAD could come up with a story like this.

Terror

A German soldier who falsely registered as a Syrian asylum seeker has been arrested for planning a terror attack. Authorities believe the lieutenant was motivated by xenophobia…

Prosecutors said the man hid a loaded weapon in a bathroom at  Vienna airport in January. He was then briefly arrested by Austrian police when he returned in February to retrieve it.

They later released the soldier due to insufficient evidence. However, the suspect’s fingerprints indicated he had in late 2015 used an alias to falsely register as a Syrian refugee in Germany. In early 2016, he applied for asylum. He was subsequently granted accommodation and even received aid money.

Ein mutmaßlich rechtsradikaler Bundeswehrsoldat, der sich als Flüchtling und Syrer ausgab, soll einen Anschlag geplant haben.

German Of The Day: Kriminalstatistik

That means crime statistics. And the statistic that just came out about suspected criminal refugees in Germany rose 52.7 percent between 2015 and 2016 – to 174,438.

Refugee

If this were all just petty crime that would be bad enough but Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) says now that thousands of migrants had identified themselves as former Taliban insurgents during the asylum application process. At least they were honest, right? My, Germany certainly has a generous immigration policy.

So there are more criminal refugees here than anybody figured? How you figure? That must be some kind of mistake. All the popular media outlets have been suggesting the opposite. And still are, for that matter.

Zahl der tatverdächtigen Zuwanderer steigt um 52,7 Prozent.